Quote from: jayne01 on May 05, 2016, 04:42:40 PM
The single most enormous mistake I have ever made was to try and find out if am trans or not. Like others have said, I took the lid of this box to see what might be inside. What I found was depression, confusion, endless amounts of self hatred and there is now no way to make it all fit back in the box. And to top it off, I am no closer to answering the question if I am trans. I have pretty much ruined my life. So I very much wish I had never decided to try and find out. Dumbest thing I ever did.
Jayne,
I have posted on one of your other threads several times. It is a tough point to get to and get through. i try not to tell anyone to do something. I will occasionally give advice, however, I might be able to give you another self diagnosis tool.
If you really feel strongly that you are not sure you are transgender then stop. Give it up and just focus on the rest of your life. If you are not transgender, you can kind of move on. (It was just a phase, right?) However, what I did not put in detail earlier in this thread(trying to keep it light hearted) is the symptoms continuing. If you are transgender, it will not go away, ever. Even if you distract yourself for awhile, it will come back.
I guess my advice to anyone so distressed is to stop for a while(make sure it is for a while- you now have a habit to break and that takes about 3 weeks). I pushed it off for years. I do not regret my children or the love of my wife(life?). However, with no disrespect to anyone at any age I feel I wish I had realized and accepted much earlier. I have spent years thinking I was evil, and twisted deep down, smiling on the surface. Years of the self hatred you made mention of. That is the only risk you run in trying this. If you are transgender, I will repeat, it never goes away. Then you wish you knew earlier(but everyone does. even the 17 year olds, maybe younger).
lil_red, I hope I have not taken away from the subject. I think it is a similar thing you are facing to Jayne. I have moments where I know I can't put it back, but wonder if I couldn't just keep on faking it. Life would be easier, right? Right.....
With warmth and hope,
Joanna