Urm, uh... I think there was a change. I'm thinking that I might be crazy next to none of the time and I feel even more revulsion to this body. Probably because I'm not constantly obsessing over getting these pills o.o

If I don't have something to constantly distract me... Things can get pretty bad. With any luck, I won't have any toilet problems, although SRS should solve that among other things.

Quote from: Xirafel on October 24, 2016, 11:05:47 PM
http://hairremoval.about.com/od/laser/a/laser-perm.htm
Urmm...

Well I guess if its on the internet then its true  ...just kidding...there are so many threads here about successful hair removal and much of it boils down to some really simple facts about how hair grows and how to kill it. Unfortunately people forget about how hair grows when factoring in the removal

Electrolysis will permanently kill off the hair...however unless your Electrologist is gifted it is unlikely you will get on zap one kill on every hair...simple laws of average would tell that some won't die.

Laser will only kill off dark pigmented hair that is the "Active growth" Stage...and also keep in mind we have some huge amount hair follicles genetically on our faces anyway. Laser is much faster and you get quicker results with much less pain....if I had to go once every few months for a touch up I wouldn't mind...it's a bit painful in the beginning because there are so many hairs but as you progress there are less and less...I would have about 60 % reduction in dark hair growth and I have had about 14 sessions....I now have both Dr's and Dentists who will give me facial injections for Electrolysis so I can really push ahead with it...

Yes it will take time and like many of us you will endure,

Liz

I noticed that it's possible to buy the devices which do the laser-ing, is there any difference between using that and getting it done professionally? o.o

I spoke to psychologist again noting the fact that while he might be experienced, he isn't exactly a specialist in all of the required fields, thus he is unsuitable for administering therapy. I pretended to overlook the fact that he basically deals with crazy people, as who knows how she might react.

I mean, come on. I walk past like five facilities which happen to have transgender specialists in the city centre all the time. Assuming that I have the money, I can basically just walk in x.x

I wonder if a psychologist would insist that I'm not trans, if I took out a pack of estradiol valerate, popped a few pills into my mouth and continued talking as if that's nothing important and perfectly normal.

Sun Tzu's Art of War has taught me much about how to deal with a psychologist

QuoteThe general that hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will conquer: let such a one be retained in command! The general that hearkens not to my counsel nor acts upon it, will suffer defeat:--let such a one be dismissed!

Quote18. All warfare is based on deception.

19. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.

20. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

21. If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.

22. If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.

23. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them.

24. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.

25. These military devices, leading to victory, must not be divulged beforehand.

26. Now the general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought. The general who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand. Thus do many calculations lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat: how much more no calculation at all! It is by attention to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose.

Quote from: Xirafel on October 25, 2016, 05:28:37 PM
I noticed that it's possible to buy the devices which do the laser-ing, is there any difference between using that and getting it done professionally? o.o

I spoke to psychologist again noting the fact that while he might be experienced, he isn't exactly a specialist in all of the required fields, thus he is unsuitable for administering therapy. I pretended to overlook the fact that he basically deals with crazy people, as who knows how she might react.

I mean, come on. I walk past like five facilities which happen to have transgender specialists in the city centre all the time. Assuming that I have the money, I can basically just walk in x.x

I wonder if a psychologist would insist that I'm not trans, if I took out a pack of estradiol valerate, popped a few pills into my mouth and continued talking as if that's nothing important and perfectly normal.

Sun Tzu's Art of War has taught me much about how to deal with a psychologist

Professional lasers are huge machines and can really do damage if not used correctly. The laser is strong enough to vaporise the hairs. The home ones I have heard mixed results about and use much lower power laser light. Some have had good results over a long period.

Depending on who is running the clinic they may let you see someone for free...especially if it is a charity run clinic...worth asking maybe...if the person you are seeing is not any good with the gender stuff he should refer you on or maybe you could ask him to refer you to someone who has the right experience. Do you think the person you are seeing now is going to be able to help you at all? Even just until you can find the right person..

Liz

Accumulating $100,000 isn't that difficult if you make it your goal. My transition cost were around $30,000 but in todays money that would be $100,000 to $120,000. Unfortunately some of that money was wasted because I couldn't connect with the proper care. My transition was pay as you go so I didn't need a big pile of money all at once and all the money I used was earned between age 21 and 30. I worked all that time and I was very careful how I spent my money. I paid for an apartment, food, transportation and all other expenses without money from anybody else. I cooked for my self and outside entertainment was minimal so I could save as much as possible. If you truly want to transition and not play games, I suspect you can do a better job of it than I did as I suspect you are brighter than I was at the time.

Maybe it'll inspire some hope in you for laser but based on my own experience Ive so far had 3 laser hair removal sessions on my face, before I started HRT my body would grow a full, thick, half inch long black beard covering my entire face/neck in nearly a week, the trauma of those memories T_T Most people say it takes about 6-8 sessions to get the max out of laser but in only 3 sessions 85% of my facial hair is completely gone and only the most stubborn part around the mouth/chin remains. Maybe I'm somehow genetically lucky (Though I'd much rather be lucky with a small frame which I'm not in the least T_T) even though HRT doesn't really do much for facial hair at all so it still perplexes me how good only 3 sessions have worked (I just had my 3rd a week ago and usually takes a few weeks to notice the difference so that progress was only in 2 sessions)

Long story short while it may not be forever permanent removal it does do a great job of removing hair though laser on my face has been the worst physical pain I've felt in my life bleh

Is it just me or are some sounds harder to hear now? I might need a hearing test. Maybe, I'm just getting old.
This body is a real pile of garbage x.x

If it's the pills, then it's a small price to pay

Quote from: ElizabethK on October 25, 2016, 07:56:05 PM
Depending on who is running the clinic they may let you see someone for free...especially if it is a charity run clinic...worth asking maybe...if the person you are seeing is not any good with the gender stuff he should refer you on or maybe you could ask him to refer you to someone who has the right experience. Do you think the person you are seeing now is going to be able to help you at all? Even just until you can find the right person..

I don't think she's going to help, but I'm desperate enough to try. And clinics don't do things for free.

From the looks of it, it's probably the specific brand of the pills that's causing the various pains and not the estradiol valerate itself, other people on these very forums complain about pain when dealing with the same pills x.x
Also, interestingly enough, there's a warning on it against using it for people over the age of 65 o.o

No matter, I can't be picky. Maybe, I'll swap it out for something else in three to six months time when my supply runs out, depends on how many I consume. Theoretically, that should cover the time needed for therapy to approve access to an endocrinologist, even if the current situation is dragged out who will hopefully prescribe something with far less severe side-effects.

On the bright side, it should block the bad hormones from making further undesirable changes and might even make positive changes. Anti-androgens would naturally help greatly and would be less annoying to administer as those ones at-least wouldn't be part of a DIY job.

Also, I finally have a local phone number, yay. I'll have to investigate something important
Little does my psychologist know that I have a back-up plan. Two, in-fact.
I'm desperate. But not as desperate as she thinks. Or at the very least, I don't necessarily have to rely on her.

There are lots of "what ifs" in my plan though, and I'm not going to risk further bad changes, so my pills will be my safety net. They will keep things rolling while I try to push for a competent psychologist. Somehow.
With any luck, she'll point to someone who's actually a transgender specialist, which will satisfy the stupid parents who think that all psychologists are evil and that they need a referral for everything to avoid the depths of darkness.

Let me find that quote from Sun Tzu:

QuoteThe general that hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will conquer: let such a one be retained in command! The general that hearkens not to my counsel nor acts upon it, will suffer defeat:--let such a one be dismissed!

I have no need for a psychologist who might not know the first thing about transgender and might mistake it for a delusion.

Actually, I have no need for a psychologist who opposes me all the way, especially one who is ignorant. If they don't act as my arms and legs to sign the documents, then they're useless and should be replaced with someone who will x.x
And yes, I am kind of seeking some form of employment, but it's easier said than done in today's job market, especially as I am a student o.o

Your biggest concern should be that self medicating on drugs that you do not know actually contain what you think they contain could well leave you with a DVT or a stroke and leave you paralysed for the rest of your life. Of course they could kill you but that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.

Quote from: Xirafel on October 26, 2016, 02:52:28 AM
From the looks of it, it's probably the specific brand of the pills that's causing the various pains and not the estradiol valerate itself, other people on these very forums complain about pain when dealing with the same pills.
Also, interestingly enough, there's a warning on it against using it for people over the age of 65.

No matter, I can't be picky. Maybe, I'll swap it out for something else in three to six months time when my supply runs out, depends on how many I consume. Theoretically, that should cover the time needed for therapy to approve access to an endocrinologist, even if the current situation is dragged out who will hopefully prescribe something with far less severe side-effects.

On the bright side, it should block the bad hormones from making further undesirable changes and might even make positive changes. Anti-androgens would naturally help greatly and would be less annoying to administer as those ones at-least wouldn't be part of a DIY job.

Also, I finally have a local phone number, yay. I'll have to investigate something important.
Little does my psychologist know that I have a back-up plan. Two, in-fact.
I'm desperate. But not as desperate as she thinks. Or at the very least, I don't necessarily have to rely on her.

There are lots of "what ifs" in my plan though, and I'm not going to risk further bad changes, so my pills will be my safety net. They will keep things rolling while I try to push for a competent psychologist. Somehow.
With any luck, she'll point to someone who's actually a transgender specialist, which will satisfy the stupid parents who think that all psychologists are evil and that they need a referral for everything to avoid the depths of darkness.

Quote from: Cindy on October 26, 2016, 03:13:34 AM
Your biggest concern should be that self medicating on drugs that you do not know actually contain what you think they contain could well leave you with a DVT or a stroke and leave you paralysed for the rest of your life. Of course they could kill you but that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.

Neither do you know that your drugs contain what you think you do.
Also, these are all risks of HRT, ones which we all signed up for.

I'm actually half surprised that no one hasn't told me that I'm wrong about what I've said yet.
That I could easily get a blood test without jumping through bureaucratic hoops, I mean everyone here seems to be about getting everyone onto medical oversight. I will take the lack of a response as to say that it's impossible x.x

Everyone says to "just deal with it", but that's basically what the entirety of society wants me to do. For my entire life.

Quote from: Xirafel on October 26, 2016, 03:22:35 AM

Quote from: Cindy on October 26, 2016, 03:13:34 AM
Your biggest concern should be that self medicating on drugs that you do not know actually contain what you think they contain could well leave you with a DVT or a stroke and leave you paralysed for the rest of your life. Of course they could kill you but that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.

Neither do you know that your drugs contain what you think you do.
Also, these are all risks of HRT, ones which we all signed up for.

I'm actually half surprised that no one hasn't told me that I'm wrong about what I've said yet.
That I could easily get a blood test or other things without jumping through bureaucratic hoops, I mean everyone here seems to be about getting everyone onto medical oversight. I will take the lack of a response as to say that it's impossible.

You just confirm suspicions

Quote from: Cindy on October 26, 2016, 03:27:53 AM
You just confirm suspicions

What suspicions? The ones we all had since five pages ago? Are you acting as a judge now?

We all know that self-medicating here is taboo. But guess what. Being transgender is also taboo in today's society.
Also, if you want to ban me for being transgender, then go ahead and do it, or is that not your intent with that tone? x.x

I'm already more or less a persona non grata here anyway, I wouldn't lose much.
Everyone probably thinks I'm an annoying and disgusting piece of trash. And quite frankly, I am. I won't deny that.
I deserve to die, but the death sentence never comes. My very existence is an abomination. I should have never been born.

If you think you can pull me onto the right path, then do so without the holier than thou-ness.
Yes, I'm cranky. I have T to blame for that. My emotions are completely out of whack. Completely uncontrollable.
I don't pop pills for fun. I have waited for a long time to get somewhere, constantly blocked at every turn, desperately looking for a way, etc.

See, I'm just a terrible, terrible person. Just a worthless piece of trash. Sorry, but it's probably not a good idea to be really confrontational with me, the bad hormones have made my emotions extremely unstable. I'm like a powder keg x.x

My brain's just all sorts of defective. As always, thanks to those who help, but I really would appreciate advice on how to proceed. Well, everyone probably hates me anyway. I would hate me too. Mm, that's probably the best approach.

I try and try and try and the world swats me down. The job market is overcrowded, I get zero money from being a student, my parents jump in my way at every opportunity, my psychologist thinks I'm crazy, etc.
Sorry, I probably should post a good portion of these posts in the venting forum. I usually just vent in the first place I can think of.

I should probably just leave these forums. I'm only a bother anyway.

Also, you forgot something that you said. Any doctor can prescribe pills. And they don't have to play by the rulebook.