Hello,

I am new here and want to introduce myself, I'm a 31yo male married for 10years with 2 children.
Recently I have seriously considered myself as being bigender and I have started seeing a gender dysphoria counsellor, I have always felt rather out of place in my body and not very masculine, aside from me being 5'11" and somewhat muscular, I have been overweight since pre puberty and I have been wrestling my anger demons since then as well. I am looking to make some friends who might understand what I am dealing with and help me during my exploration of my gender.
I am married to a Wonderful woman who has been supportive of my sexual fetishes and my choice to shave my body and dress in her old clothes, though I do feel partly male, I do feel better about myself and i have an easier time expressing my feelings when I dress up as a girl. I have not yet told her that I am seeing the counsellor for gender dysphoria only anger management, I do want to at some point tell her everything.
I feel like hrt might mean some relief and resolution to my anger issues and I might be a better person to my family who usually takes the brunt of my anger at home.
Please feel free to message me and ask away if you have questions about anything at all. I like to talk and I am a very open person.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

-Ian

Welcome to Susan's Place. People have their own idea of what a transition is. Some seek only a few changes while others want many. It's good that you are seeing a therapist and HRT often helps with your emotions. It's not so much the estrogen that make the difference but the suppression of the testosterone. We have a number of members who have found HRT is suffice to avoid further change. The people here are happy to help so feel free to ask any questions you might have.

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Thank you so much, for the helpful links and info. I hope that between my counselling and support from others I will be able to be happy with myself.

I have no doubt that if you continue working at it, you will become happy with your new life. We have members who's wife was unable accept a husband transitioning and demanded a divorce. It was painful but the member have found the tradeoff was worth it. In your case, your wife is accepting and I believe she will be even more so as she sees the improvement in your personality. We have many on this site who's marriage is better than before. Possibly some will post to this thread and you will learn their stories.

hi there Annarko and welcome, there are many life stories graciously shared by those that post here and many have found themselves in very similar circumstances that you described, I encourage you to read and post comments in other threads as well since we often comes to understand ourselves better when we see that we are all very much the same in many ways. Reading your story , i see that there maybe something more than just you dressing , my ex boyfriend was into fetishes and it was clearly cross dressing in his case bc although he like the fantasy aspects , in reality he was comfortable being a man and that was all , sounds like your expressive some deeper sentiments and maybe some repressed feelings and its important that you explore these with your therapist and if and when the time comes that you want to share the details with your spouse, invite her to talking to the therapist with you, actually therapists will often ask if it would be ok for your significant other to chat as well in order to help explain what dysphoria is what it might means to your relationship. Well Im sure if your willing to look within yourself, you will find answers the worst thing we often do is try to ignore and push what we are feeling inside Blessings! [emoji177] Julie


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Growing up, I had a rough first few years, my life didn't become stable until my mom left me with my grandparents which helped in some aspects but obviously leaving my mom probably hurt me some as well. I lived with them until I was like 20. I remember as a kid I used to wish that I was a girl sometimes, I felt that I was always inferior like I didn't feel very male compared to the other boys. Like physically not as strong and(not that I really knew, cause I never saw any others) my boy parts are smaller than everybody else's. I also used to think that maybe they changed me at Birth. I know that it kind of sounds crazy, and anatomically I'm male. I was a twin and my sister died at birth and I barely survived. I used to spend most of my time playing with girls in the neighborhood, and until middle school most of my friends were girls. I've never been happy with my body, I'm overweight and have been since puberty, even at my best (when I met my wife) I was chubby and unconfident. Honestly, I have lived fairly easily as a male for most of my adult life, but recently I have wanted to deal with my anger issues to better my marriage and I have realized that some of my problems may be gender dysphoria. Lately I feel that my body would better fit me with more feminine features. Thank you ladies for your kind words and your sharing of personal experiences. I will continue to ask questions and read the threads while I find out what I need to do with myself.

Hi Ian 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

I'm married to the same person I was married to pre-transition. She's about as straight as you can get, so it's a pretty bumpy ride, especially as I approach my surgery date, but we're working through it. Honestly I think the fact that I went from an introvert to an extrovert following a massive jump in confidence, is the bumpiest part of it all.

Well, I don't know if I am a minority or not in regards to me being somewhat extroverted pretty much my whole life. It's always just been unhappiness about my appearance especially when I'm by myself, and random outbursts of anger when I hear something I don't like or somebody does something that irritates me. It makes me not a nice person to live with, I'll tell you that!  Pretty much everyone I meet thinks I'm a perfectly happy outgoing male person. As I said previously, I'm not sure a full transition would be for me but I am not taking anything off the table. I have my first official visit (without all the pesky paperwork) with the gender therapist tomorrow afternoon, I am pretty excited to go and nervous to talk about stuff, but I am going to do my best to open up with her and see if I can figure out who I want to be.

Thank you all for being so welcoming, I hope I can make some good friends here.
-Ian

im sure it will go well , it sounds like all that anger needs to be talked about to help you find solutions so you can feel better, the extroverts i've known are actually very sensitive people who are trying to cover things by diversion.    


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Thank you bluepaint, I really do need help with my anger. I struggle daily with it, and I really hate myself after I've gotten mad and yelled and said things that I always regret afterwards. I am a horrible angry person and I've had enough of being this way. Time for a change for the better! As soon as I am able to post pictures I will post a current one of myself here. Feel free to comment and give me feedback or suggestions! I truly appreciate constructive criticism

Yay, I'm allowed to have an avatar!