From reading all the posts it looks to me that very few older MTF people write about their journey to transition. As an older MTF I would love to know what problems are in store for me 

Gosh, there are lots of us older folks around.  Quite a few of us here in our 60s, and even more in their 50s.  Most of the problems we experience are the same as the younger women face. 

We tend not to respond physically quite as well to HRT as the younger folks do.  The testosterone damage is too severe and largely irreversible.  For me, going out without a wig or at least a hat is not an option.

Any kids, if we have them, are likely out on their own, which may make coming out to them easier.  On the other hand, dealing with a spouse can be more challenging.  If the spouse feels that all those years in the closet are a betrayal, then 40 years of betrayal are a lot worse than 5 years.

Those old enough to be retired do not have to worry about the hassles of coming out at work.

I'm 63.  Does that count?

I haven't posted much because I'm in the middle of transition, plus discovering (the hard way) how much damage my childhood did to me and trying to heal.  I don't have a lot of questions for my trans sisters and brothers (and others ), instead having a lot for my therapist, so I haven't posted much lately.

I'll be mostly among people who know who I was, plus the damage testosterone did will all be pretty obvious, so the whole passing discussion is moot for me.

For me, it was transition or die, so the perennial "should I transition?" topic isn't relevant for me.  (Well, unless I decide I'd rather die, which is less of a no-brainer for me than you might think.)

But I'd still rather live as a woman, however unsuccessfully, than continue trying to pass for a man.

I'm 57 but I'm not old.  I refuse that label. :-)


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

I remember when "Old" in my mind was over 50...I'll be 51 tomorrow and it looks a whole lot younger on this side!!  With thay said, and like others have said, I think it is different and the same.  I am the very start of my journey as I just told my wife a few months ago and so far she is very supportive!  I prepared myself for the worst and hope for the best...so far I have not been disappointed. But like you, I am interested in hearing more stories and perhaps get some advice along the way.  Unlike when I was a real teanager going through puberty, this time I know people understand whereas 35 years ago I already knew everything! 

I'm 65, started HRT last week, and have posted in a variety of sections here.  from our profile pictures, you can see there are quite a few old broads here.

yes, HTT, while YMMV, takes longer for us. 

Laura

I dont feel like an older lady here, but at 59 some may feel that way.
I started late in life for many reasons once I decided to end my boy life I choose to live. some of what I wanted IE: (Passing) for lack of a better term may not be quite as possible because of the non reversible effects that T cursed me with. my adjustment was very easy however I have never been happier with who I am, I absolutely love being me, so every day is a blessing I live my life full time as me a transgendered woman with an amazing life with plenty of skills and talents to offer the world. I find it seems that some of the younger people I know have a harder time than I do in social and public settings, I am very confident and do not waiver about this being the best for me. are there hard times sure but I accept me and do not care so much how others feel about me or where I pee. I live in a small town, very conservative, and for the most part people accept me for who I am. so far the hardest part was hoping to get started on the process before my time passed away, I truly just wanted to be able live as me for whatever time I had left. I guess my point is make it yours, walk it out proudly. it is hard to explain these feelings because they are mine but I can honestly say that I have no regrets for accepting me.

With Love Jerri   

I'm 64 and fully intend to transition one day. A few years ago I almost had my wife convinced that being with me as a woman would work, but she changed her mind. Now I am somewhere between the stealth mode with her and the "Don't ask, Don't tell" mode with her. I will try to convince her again in a few years to stay married to me and love me as her wife.
At work, I am ready to go. I really am convinced that my employer would support me.

I came out exactly one year ago at 53. Over the past year there have been a lot of years with my wife of 31 years.  She's pissed.  Well probably stay married on paper for financial and companionship reasons but the intimacy is gone.

The kids were surprised but didn't freak out.

It took about a full year for me to come to terms on transitioning.  For me. Like some others, it became a non choice.  I either transition or self destruct. 

- Dee

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk

Like Jack Benny I am perpetually 39.

Problems?  Challenges? Oh I've had a few. With age comes wisdom. Plus perhaps a bit more patience. As an old geezer you have a lot of life and living under the belt. In many ways it can be a bit more of a challenge then for a younger person just starting out. At the same time, as a younger person I "Experimented" with transitioning twice. Both times utter fails thanks to a ton of baggage, shame, guilt, internalized, transphobia, and No Tools to help undo all that damage.

No in my dotage, the time came several years ago to take the Trans-Beast on for real. It was far from easy in the beginning. Even more baggage, shame, guilt, internalized, transphobia, and No Tools to help undo all that damage, plus a lot of life under the belt. Like a wife, a career, plenty of financial obligations, etc.. Not anywhere near as simple as just after finishing college. At the time any sort of transition was off the table. I just wanted to try to heal myself. Part of giving up years ago was at 6ft tall, big everything, and balding since 14 I stood no chance of "blending in" in a world filled with 5'6" tall women. All that stuff sure didn't change with age... OK the height of the average woman but that's a stretch.

As I worked hard to fix myself from the inside, what was on the outside mattered less and less in that the sheer joy of being out in the real world as the real me mattered far more. Seven years later I'm still present primarily as male, still have a wife/bff/reality-therapist who loves me far more now that I've grown so much as a person. Yes, there are other growth areas she is not too fond of. We both make compromises. Life is about balancing a multitude of conflicting needs, wants, and desires to obtain the best outcome. Wisdom obtained through age allows you realize there is no "Ideal" outcome

Looks like Im in good company being in my early fifties myself! I would've never though that I would get to 30 much less in my fifties! My HRT doctor keeps trying to sell me on the concept of menopause and not needing estrogen (or very very little) anymore.  I didn't get an appropriate puberty, Im not having the menopause! hehe! What does menopause have to do with being a transwoman? really! We didn't get that ovarian surge with a cocktail of growth hormones. Im not sure what they are teaching endocrinologists about caring for us older gals?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you all for your response it makes me feel a lot better that I am not out here on my own. Most of my life I have been a reluctant male because when I was born if you had the male bits you had to be a male no matter what your feelings were inside. I was all ways being told grow up and be a man all I wanted was to be someone else a Girl. Now I feel it is my time and to be who I want to be

I'm 55. I feel that in many ways I've been transitioning my whole life - I just didn't know it was happening. Like many, I built a life as best I could. School, marriage, children, career... the whole standard program. And now my long slow transition from simply feeling queer as a child to rampant bouts of cross dressed self-discovery laced with guilt and shame to hiding my identity to acknowledging my truth to making changes, has finally evolved to the point where it's visible to those who can see. My wife says that if you look at pictures of me over the sat 10 years, it's obvious. I'm not out to all that many people. My wife, of course, and my therapist(s) and doctors. I still have to come out to my grown children. My son will be the hardest. I was his male role model. But I cannot deny myself who I really am. I'm just at the precipice of HRT. It's exciting and scary. I really don't know if I'll transition fully. It may be enough that my closest ones acknowledge me. Maybe not. SRS? Well not on my project list so far. As I say, though, I reserve the right to change my mind. And that's the bottom line, isn't it? Doing what feels right for you. I think we older MTF's have a great wisdom stored up. We've made the sacrifices, typically for our family and society to conform and sublimate our true selves. We, girl friends, have paid dues. We've seen the world from a very unique perspective that few can comprehend. I'm always amazed at the male lives some of us have lived and yet underneath is this beautiful radiant female being waiting to emerge.