Sooo... how to even begin. Eep.
I've been lurking here for I guess a couple weeks now. I stumbled across it while looking for informed consent clinics on Google. I was doing that because I recently came out to myself. I'm 31, and have been suppressing a pull toward femininity for a long time. Most of my life, I guess, actually. When I was a kid, I remember playing Power Rangers with my friends, and coming up with reasons for whatever character I was playing to end up body swapped with the Pink Ranger by whatever pretend villain we were fighting. That's the earliest thing I can think of. There's been lots since, but as I got older, and anything that read as femininity was ridiculed by other boys, I kind of just retreated and stuffed it deep down.
I don't know what or why it finally all clicked for me, but my brain has been racing at 100mph ever since, concerned with all the potential fallout of eventually coming out. I just moved in with my girlfriend in September, and while she's incredible, and pansexual, I don't know how she will react to this. I think most of my family will be accepting, but some of them aren't the most progressive thinking.
I don't know. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. I've decided not to say anything to anyone until the new year, because I don't want to potentially destroy the holidays.
I also don't want to take any formal steps toward transitioning until I tell my girlfriend. It would feel like lying.
I'm really not sure what the point of this post is, if I'm being honest. I just felt like I needed to chime in and introduce myself and kind of just declare "I am Ashley."
I've included a picture. I'm, as mentioned, pre-everything. I'm not wearing any makeup except lipstick, and I'm wearing one of my girlfriend's wigs. The eyeliner was added in a photo manipulation app on my phone haha.
I didn't see an option for attaching the photo directly, and I'm afraid to upload anything online where it's public, so I used a Dropbox link. I hope that's not sketchy.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/nyp8uw55120g1qo/IMG_4820.PNG?dl=0