I almost did the same as Pica Pica.
As soon as I understood gender I new I was not "right". After a ton of searching and trying on many, many hats MtF fit the best. I knew it was not a 100% match, but was far better than what I was. I was settled on it and started looking for more and more information as it is not something to be taken lightly. I was looking up androgyne as temporary stop on my way as I was not ready, willing or able to really even start to transition. I was almost to the point of letting my mom know as she would probably take it best.
I always thought I hated androgenous looks. After my discovery, I realized it was not that I hated it. I hated that it applied to me on some level and it scared me, maybe a bit jealous as well. That was a hell of a thing to find out.
After reading here the past few days I started letting down my guard on mannerisms and thoughts. While reading this site last night and watching a movie, one recommended on here I might add (The Lake House), I lost it. Just broke down, my male side fought it. I will give it credit, it put up a hell of a fight.
How do I know I found myself?
When I found what I truly was, it was like going from black and white to color at the flick of a switch. I do not mean "oh, that is what I am", I mean it rocked me to the core. The whole thing has hit me so hard that I have been trying to document my whole life and while doing so re-evaluate everything. All the problems in my life suddenly became clear, even my sexual desires which were fuzzy on some things, suddenly I can see what they are. I even look at porn differently now, things I sort of liked or were unsure of have changed.
It was/is really strange to be honest.