I haven't even tried HRT yet. I used to like girls primarily, but it was awkward. I've never been sexually attracted to men, but I'm curious If it will turn out that way. I almost seem asexual or turned on by myself at this point...

It confuses the hell out of me...

I do get nervous sometimes, because I have heard cases where sexual orientation changes "due" to HRT.  Serra considers herself a lesbian trapped in a male body, and I've always been a lesbian...so being with (what the world considers) a "guy" is uncharted territory.  Part of me is thinking, "arg, when she transitions, will she still be attracted to girls, or turn bi or straight or whatever"...it just makes me nervous


~Rachael

I always found some guys attractive even when I was married but the HRT really revved up that side of things. I go through periods of being absolutely boy crazy and love it when truckers give me the horn on the street.

I had sexual urges before hrt 99% of them was for women. After hrt I have those urges that drove me sexually are gone which is kind of freaking me out. Anyway I never was sexually active so what does it matter anyway. Most I feel is like this that person looks good then wonder if their nice that is as far as get now a days. So I'm unsure about my orientation and I knew what it was before. But I will never go for man on man sex even if I'm attractive to a man.(don't mean to offend that my personal feeling about myself) That will have to wait until I'm physical corrected.


Later,
Anna

A pity the "back door" wasn't adapted for such uses. Even if It was, I definitely don't feel any attraction towards men. I mean... I really am wondering if this will change given what I hear happens....
I mean. I've been quite turned on by the idea of penetration, but it usually in my head involves another girl and a strap on

I was aware of wanting a man even before I consciously admitted to myself that I'm transsexual. In fact, it was desire for sex with men that woke me up to the fact I need to have a vagina and be a woman, because like Nero I could not see man-on-man sex for myself. I tried but just could not see it happening. This made me ponder I really should have been born with a vagina... oh yeah, that's probably connected with the thoughts I've had all my life I want to be a woman... duh. So I awoke to being trans as a result of wanting men for sex.

After that I still preferred women, and lesbian identification felt very attractive to me. I tried to align with lesbianism. I still have great fondness for lesbians. But once I was on HRT, I began to feel an even more intense sexual desire for men. That will not happen, however, until my SRS is completed. While waiting for SRS I live essentially asexual. But in terms of sexual orientation, I am clearly bi. I would still rather identify as lesbian, as a conscious choice... because to me women loving women seems like the ultimate good in life. But the fact is, I'm bi.

I think Nicole is right about people being potentially bisexual. So what is it that actualizes that potential? I think HRT. Before I started HRT, I desired men but could not see it happening. After HRT, when estrogen had worked its womanly mysteries on my body and mind, when men began to express sexual desire for me, I could see it happening. Now I like to be physically close to men although sex will have to wait until SRS. Now I feel sexual desire, not in my useless joke of a male appendage, but inside me... where my vagina will be, hopefully someday soon.

I would love to have a boyfriend someday. Part of my attraction to men is raw animal lust... but part of it is sociological, my chance to be seen as just a normal woman. This troubles me, because it would mean forsaking my lesbian sisters who I love so much.

My head tells me, Women are better, stick with them and the hell with men. My body urges me to get a man. As you can see, I'm still working through all this. Anyway, I'm not having sex with anyone now.

Quote from: Krista on January 31, 2008, 07:32:04 PM

Quote from: ErickaM on January 31, 2008, 03:56:57 PM
Yes, I still love here very much and I have reassured her of the same thing, but she has a fear that as I continue to transistion that I would want to have a relationship with a guy.

I wouldn't lie to you, you may want a relationship that is more on a romantic basis with a man but like Ashley put it "Would you act on the urge?"

Think of it this way, when you were a guy (even though you probably never ever felt that way) were you ever attracted to a female while you were married? Like sexually? It's the same thing! You were attracted to the female but because of the commitment you had made and the love you have for your wife you did not act on the urge. This would be the same situation, just with a male.

To answer your question, Yes I have been attracted to other women since being married but I've never acted on that attraction.  And I want ack on any attration to a guy as long as I am married.  I was just wondering 'cuz I have begin to have these attractions.

There seems to be a definite link between non traditional sexuality
and transexuality (meaning, the endochrine and genetic
factors that impact on one seem to increase the probability of the other)
so it wouldn't be surprising if trans would indeed be hetero, bisexual and
homosexual in greater number than the general population. This
indeed seems to be the case.

Also, if we take sexuality as a continuum and how you express yourself
on this continuum depends on societal pressures. Explains why
there are much more people with "gay fantasies" than actual gays. My
best friend is het, but I know that if he had a safe occasion of having
sex with a man he would take it. There are actually much more bi's
than what we know of; its a very poorly studied subject.

I think sexuality is well defined but it is only in the extremes that its seen as immovable. This immovable, very defined fringe is much easier to see in gays (which have their own need to conform to their community
and suppress their het desires!) than in the rest of the population.

Say, there was 5% of the population who have never in their lives had het fantasies (100% gay) and 33% of the het population who never had gay fantasies (100% het) (made up number, I don't know the real number). Well, that would make a boatload of people in between that are open to a gay encounter!

How strongly their desire is and how it is expressed depends on their personal circumstances and societal pressures. In a highly repressive area with clearly defined gender and sexual roles, I'd be surprised there is much outward expression of any kind even from the 5% of gays (let alone the bi's)

I'd be surprised if TS expression, which as I said seems to depend on same
dna and endochrine influences as sexuality, would not place us outside the 100% het box and thus make more people susceptible to be closer to the tipping point in the middle between heterosexuality and homosexuality.



As I said, TS are certainly in this in between area. 

Quote from: Hypatia on February 02, 2008, 08:17:52 AM
I was aware of wanting a man even before I consciously admitted to myself that I'm transsexual. In fact, it was desire for sex with men that woke me up to the fact I need to have a vagina and be a woman, because like Nero I could not see man-on-man sex for myself. I tried but just could not see it happening. This made me ponder I really should have been born with a vagina... oh yeah, that's probably connected with the thoughts I've had all my life I want to be a woman... duh. So I awoke to being trans as a result of wanting men for sex.

After that I still preferred women, and lesbian identification felt very attractive to me. I tried to align with lesbianism. I still have great fondness for lesbians. But once I was on HRT, I began to feel an even more intense sexual desire for men. That will not happen, however, until my SRS is completed. While waiting for SRS I live essentially asexual. But in terms of sexual orientation, I am clearly bi. I would still rather identify as lesbian, as a conscious choice... because to me women loving women seems like the ultimate good in life. But the fact is, I'm bi.

I think Nicole is right about people being potentially bisexual. So what is it that actualizes that potential? I think HRT. Before I started HRT, I desired men but could not see it happening. After HRT, when estrogen had worked its womanly mysteries on my body and mind, when men began to express sexual desire for me, I could see it happening. Now I like to be physically close to men although sex will have to wait until SRS. Now I feel sexual desire, not in my useless joke of a male appendage, but inside me... where my vagina will be, hopefully someday soon.

I would love to have a boyfriend someday. Part of my attraction to men is raw animal lust... but part of it is sociological, my chance to be seen as just a normal woman. This troubles me, because it would mean forsaking my lesbian sisters who I love so much.

My head tells me, Women are better, stick with them and the hell with men. My body urges me to get a man. As you can see, I'm still working through all this. Anyway, I'm not having sex with anyone now.

Hypatia sums it up. I also agree with Tink and Nichole that I don't believe sexual orientation changes just because one has had HRT and surgery. If it seems to, than just as Nichole said, that person's 'comfort' level with their true sexuality has changed.
If estrogen or testosterone changed sexual orientation there'd be no lesbians or gay men.

But, I do believe estrogen intensifies an already existing attraction to men. I love how Hypatia put it 'raw animal lust'.
If you've ever seen a cat in heat - she needs it, a tomcat that is, and she needs it right then and there.
Here's something I previously posted on the subject:

Estrogen woes: Cats in heat

Quote from: Nero on December 09, 2007, 09:00:00 PM
That one week a month when...

all you think about is relief

you'd give anything to have a triple dozen tomcats howling at your door

your body's screaming 'fill me! fill me!'

you find yourself sitting on top of the washer during the spin cycle

that cucumber in the fridge takes on a whole new meaning

the detachable showerhead is your new best friend

the folks at the Lion's Den (or whatever your friendly neighbourhood toy shop is) have your favorites bagged and waiting on the counter

you change your boxers/panties 10x a day

you've got that unmistakeable glow across your cheeks

that filthy, balding, beer gutted guy across the street is looking pretty hot about now

It depends on your experiences and what is important to you in life. I never cared much to be touched and do not find humans desirable to be close to. I do like quiet and a warm bath. I guess that I am not an animal because I never felt the urge to have sex.

Ok, so I started to post and realize I went soooo far off topic, I just put the response in my Blog.

That's here:  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,26420.new.html#new

As far as orientation change, I wouldn't think it would change because of HRT. I was married twice to women and it's amazing what you can pull off sexually. I always had issues in that department anyway. I've never looked at women sexually. In the rare, rare event that I had some kind of sexual activity (including kissing and everything past that) I had an extremely vivid imagination to get me through it. I heard so many things from girlfriends prior to marriage and wives like "aren't you attracted to me", "what's wrong", "what about you having release?" etc, etc. After a while of this and my answers "of course I'm attracted to you, I'm just tired", "nothing, I'm ok", and "I don't need release. Just knowing that I made you feel good is enough for me."

Lol, I have no idea what they thought with those answers, but I used them. I could get through sexual stuff by imagining I was the girl and she was me. That's it. Nothing fancy. My mind is soooo elaborate when it comes to that kind of stuff

I describe a very early experience with a boy when I was 10 or 11. I knew I was a girl in my head when I was 5 or 6 so it was like when the crushes and sexual wanting came 5 or 6 years later, I was so, so, so confused. I remember feeling like I couldn't tell ANYONE because it wouldn't go over too well. Nothing like hanging out with girlfriends in 5th and 6th grade and getting giddy when they talked about some of the boys, then having them ask who I liked.

"Oh, um, no one, it's ok."

Once transition is complete, I'll explore that, I'm sure. I need to feel complete first. Body needs to match the mind. Anything less than that I just can't fathom. I know that the feelings I've had about men and women have been there since I was 10. I don't see HRT changing it, only helping me possibly get to the point where I can have a loving, caring relationship and actually be attracted physically to my partner Meghan

I think sexuality cant be changed ( and maybe thats actually pretty good else the whole world would be "brainwashed" to be heterosexual by religious extremists...I still fear for the future however, they shouldnt touch it!)

I do believe that things like HRT can intensify slight excisting sexual feelings or even latent ones

I personally hope that I will get HRT and see if it changes within me...Im mostly into girls but certain - and thats a rather small percentage- men excite me already..so Im a curious cat 

Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2008, 07:24:18 PM
Personally, I don't think it is possible.  My view is that sexual orientation is innate and unchangeable, but of course that is just my opinion, not Tink's law of any sort. I like men too much to even consider being intimate with a girl.  That is just a huge no-no on my book, and needless to say, that isn't happening anytime soon!, I mean "NEVER"

tink

yep I agree.  I'm da same but the opposite.  I've always liked girls.  my sexual prefrence hasnt change. Never been w/a dude.  no dudes for this dude.

I was just looking through some hentai I hid in my room in a trading card sleeve (teenage antics..) and laughing at it, but It kinda scared me too, cause it was a hetero scene, and I completely identified with the female, and not just the gender, but the non-dominant role, and I seem to remember having the same fantasy when I was in puberty. I guess its just weird to me... I don't like guys, but I like the idea of that role. I keep thinking that maybe I DO like guys as well, but prefer ones that don't exist... One I'd like! Lol... Maybe I'm bi... I've never really explored this fully I don't think, and I've never been attracted to men. So maybe I'm technically Bicurious cause I am curious, but know I like girls...


And then there's pansexual, which is a confusing term...

I was born asexual and nothing can change that.

Quote from: Tink on January 31, 2008, 07:24:18 PM
Probably.  If you do some research on this very website, you will read some posts from some members whose sexual orientation has apparently shifted.  Personally, I don't think it is possible.  My view is that sexual orientation is innate and unchangeable, but of course that is just my opinion, not Tink's law of any sort. I like men too much to even consider being intimate with a girl.  That is just a huge no-no on my book, and needless to say, that isn't happening anytime soon!, I mean "NEVER"

tink

i agree with tink that it's unchangeable, and thats the experience of non-transsexuals, though my sexual orientation has changed, i think.

before i transitioned, i only went out with women and identified as straight 'male', though now i'm only attracted to men (at least i think, lol).  i think i was just confused about my sexuality before transition.  i was still confused about gender identity and stuff, and being a 'gay male' was certainly not right!

i still haven't started hrt yet (one month to go, fingers crossed), so it was just going full-time that's changed my orientation 

jenny
x x

Quote from: jenny_ on February 06, 2008, 01:41:02 AM
i agree with tink that it's unchangeable, and thats the experience of non-transsexuals, though my sexual orientation has changed, i think.

How about this: sexual orientation does not change, but being the wrong sex can make it hard to see what that orientation is, so some transsexuals only figure out their orientation during / after transition?

  Nfr

I actually think a chemical reaction in your head can do quite a bit in that area when it is that major. I wouldn't doubt it actually...

I have to be honest and say I am bi. I have always been sexually attracted to men but could never see myself in a relationship with one. It kinda didn't work  in my head to think of myself prior to transition to be with a guy in a relationship. Now I love guys I love to tease them and see how they react, some guys are so funny too, those are my favorite. And I can so see myself marrying a guy and living together. I've always liked girls and still do but unlike before I see my attraction to another woman as a playfull thing rather than taking it seriously like I did before HRT. Ya it can get confusing so I always like to say "I just look at the person rather than the sex" I think my views on gender preference have changed but not my sexual orientation entirely. But I did have a friend who kept telling me that she likes guys now but didn't before.

Never had much interest in sex, but since I completed my transition Im definitely more attracted to men, maybe becaused I get noticed more, I love the attention I get from men when builders whistle or truckers honk in my direction, some men are very flattering and charming and make me blush, I love to please a man and be held and be intimate in that special way, I guess Im just a straight woman.
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