Quote from: Julia1996 on July 02, 2017, 09:28:00 AM
a transwoman is not a "man in a dress". She is a woman in a dress who was unlucky enough to born wrong. I also think confidence has a lot to do with it. My dad told me it's important to make eye contact with people. He said if someone looks down and kind of shrinks into themselves when you look at them it makes people suspicious and then they look harder trying to figure out what you're trying to hide.

This is very good advice.  People see that body language as weak and it's easier for mean people to attack weakness.

I just wish I could follow that advice myself.  For me I have a hard time getting past the "man in a dress" I see in the mirror.

Quote from: RobinGee on July 01, 2017, 06:46:49 PM
So I'm at a crossroads of sorts.  I'm not seeking to fully transition for several reasons, but instead trying to spend part time as a woman.  Problem is I'm terrified and ashamed to go outside as me.  It's like all the little interactions with people, what will people think if they know me even a little, what general reaction will people have, the incredible newness of it all terrifies me.

I'm not crazy, I don't harbor delusions that I'll magically pass, especially without HRT.  But I need to do something to be me I'm just gonna get resentful for ever,

I have had a few attempts at going out in public, nothing bad happened but I'm still resistant.  I'm okay going to support groups, my therapist and the like, but just want to feel okay going to the stupid grocery store.

Hi Robin,

  Girl do I ever know what you are feeling. Just a couple of months ago I was furtively making forays to the local stores at night at the cajoling of the ladies on this forum and their encouragement. next thing you know I'm doing laundry and going to electrologist sessions in semi girl mode. and then I went to a therapy session fully girl mode. I've gone to two of them now in girl mode. But here I am today having left home 3 weeks ago in girl mode to take a road trip to Maine. I was only commuted to going to Denver and Colorado Springs in girl mode to visit 2 other ladies there. I got that done and decided to go further en femme. I've made it to Maine and Pennsylvania, New Jersey and the DC area visiting sever more ladies along the way and am now heading back. I have spend about 2 days in boy mode is all and plan to return home in girl mode. I've been on trains , walking and dining in cities, shopping in stores and using women's bathrooms all in girl mode.  I am not totally comfortable in girl mode yet, especially when alone in public but I am far more comfortable with it than when I left home.

  My advice?  Just go do it. Take a girl mode road trip. Visit others like us in girl mode (it really helps to have company)
You can do it and each time you do you get more comfortable about doing it next time.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I saw a few guys in skirts in our city. They were bearded and unquestionably tough guys giving no sh&t to stares. Not that they got any really.

But when us going out en femme, it's different... Different mannerisms, different attitudes.

Sometimes I thought if I would want out as a guy in skirt, but as much as I love them, I immediately want to dress more and have that change of attitude thing that makes it different


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I have a lot of issues with this honestly. I've been dressing totally en femme when I'm at home for almost 4 years now, but still get terrified if some random salesman knocks on my door, and feel compelled to immediately do guy mode, though he's usually gone by that time.

I've only done totally en femme on several Halloweens and did it on TDOV this Spring. No one said anything when I hit the mall on TDOV. Walked all around it, and even bought a sandwich at one of the sit down restaurants.

What I have been doing is just going more and more androgynous, and then pushing it more feminine. When I started out I was scared to even wear men's skinny jeans, now I wear almost all women's clothes and makeup most of the time. Still not real comfortable wearing women's shirts, but that's mainly because most of them make me look pregnant, and I'm not at all comfortable wearing skirts or dresses out, but pants, shorts, and capris I feel fairly comfortable in.

The underlying issue still remains, I know I shouldn't be ashamed of being trans, but since I have parents who engrained in me that I should be, it's hard to shake, especially knowing they aren't alone in that opinion.

Go away.  I mean go on vacation somewhere.  I did it twice and learned a lot.  Or depending upon your geographic situation, go to the next city over and change in the car to and from.

You will quickly become comfortable.

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Quote from: Denise on July 03, 2017, 10:05:39 AM
Go away.  I mean go on vacation somewhere.  I did it twice and learned a lot.  Or depending upon your geographic situation, go to the next city over and change in the car to and from.

You will quickly become comfortable.

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I live in a relatively middle-size city. Not Big 3, but in top 20 in terms of population. I was living 16/7 for a year as a female, and after I moved to another part of my town - no one ever clocks me as being a CD. So really, you don't even need to go that far