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The Official Do You Pass Thread.

Started by Tracey, October 13, 2017, 11:44:00 AM

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Do you pass as your target gender?

Yes
14 (56%)
No
11 (44%)

Total Members Voted: 25

KittyKatKiera

I don't care if I do. :-)
But I don't on the phone


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Allie24

Yes. With and without makeup. Very pleased with where I'm at. No regrets!
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The Flying Lemur

I pass very rarely, like I'll occasionally get "sir" if I'm somewhere dark and they can't see me too well.  I think part of it is that my chubby face really feminizes me.  I hope to pass better when I lose more weight.  The other problem is that I'm huge in the chest, and binding doesn't help very much.  I go for my first consult for top surgery on Monday, so hopefully that will change too. 
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. --Joseph Campbell
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chris.deee

If you measure passing as "I don't get verbally misgendered" then i would say I'm at 98% or better.

If you measure passing as "I get treated pleasantly as the gender I identify with" then I am at 100%. The effect of confidence thing is real.

If you measure passing as "no one knows I'm trans" then I have no idea. Dawn is the only one who's seen me in real life, so I trust her assessment way more than my own. 

And for the record, the second measure is the one I really care about the most. 

Thank goodness I learned early on that acting like this is how it's supposed to be is 90% of the battle.  The rest is just a few skills (e.g., makeup, learning to walk and talk) that just take a little practice. 

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Rachel_Christina

I think I pass in public. I have never had an awkward eye. Unless it's guys being guys, staring

But god damn if I open my gob, forget about it mister lol


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chris.deee

OMG, voice is the last frontier.  It's still my weakest point.


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Allie24

Voice was the big one for me, too. But after training it for almost two years I've finally gotten it in the sort of husky tomboy range, which suits me fine. The real test was if I passed over the phone or in the drive thru. The day that happened was magical.
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JMJW

In photos where I can control the angles and lighting then yes. In real life, no.
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MeTony

My voice outs me. I pass most of the time.
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josie76

Seems like I pass from behind but my face still has masculine traits. I feel like I've been seeing more confused looks than anything lately so that's an improvement. My voice is still no good.
04/26/2018 bi-lateral orchiectomy

A lifetime of depression and repressed emotions is nothing more than existence. I for one want to live now not just exist!

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KathyLauren

That's a tough one to answer.

1. Do I get hassled for being trans?  No.
2. Do I get noticed a lot in crowds?  No.
3. Do I get treated as a woman?  Yes.
4. Do people take me for a cis woman?  Unlikely.
5. Do I pass on the phone?  No.
6. Do I care much?  No.

I suppose "passing" is 3 or 4.  Depending which it is, maybe I do; maybe I don't.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Tommie_9

Quote from: Allie24 on October 14, 2017, 12:45:16 AM
Voice was the big one for me, too. But after training it for almost two years I've finally gotten it in the sort of husky tomboy range, which suits me fine. The real test was if I passed over the phone or in the drive thru. The day that happened was magical.

Yep. Voice was the thing that was the biggest problem at first. I sounded like Mickey Mouse and didn't have the inflections down at first. I've watched videos, practiced,and It's good now. Try to use it all the time even at home. I spent a lot of time at malls observing how women walk, gesture, interact with cis other women, and carry things. Clothes, makeup and hair are only part of the illusion. If you get all of these things down, how you look physically isn't a hindrance for passing most of the time. Heck, I've seen cis women that look more male than a lot of our avatars on here. The more you're out there in every situation as a woman, it becomes more natural and gives you confidence. Don't be afraid to get busted at first. It will work out.
Finding 'self' is the first step toward becoming 'self'. Every step is part of a journey. May your journey lead to happiness. Peace!
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Colleen_definitely

Voice is such a huge part of it, and training it takes a lot of work.  The biggest problem I have is fighting the urge to guy voice the phone when I pick up a number I don't recognize.  That and I find speaking quietly harder than speaking loudly, which is a complete reversal of how my old voice worked.  Other than that it's coming pretty naturally to me, and even if my pitch isn't perfect all the time inflection really helps cover it.

I will say that checking in to a hotel using my voice while in guy clothes for work gets the most bewildered looks out of clerks, especially since my ID that matches my company credit card has a beard on it. 
As our ashes turn to dust, we shine like stars...
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