For me it kind of depends. Online I get read as male a lot because that's the default, and there's this little stab of joy when someone refers to me with a male pronoun even though I know it's nothing to do with me, it's just some random assumption. But then I feel I have to correct people's understanding that I'm a guy so as not to re-enforce the male normativity of some environments. Female pronouns just bleh me out. Sometimes a person will refer to me as "she" or correct someone else when they "he" me, and I don't feel able to address that because I know they're atually trying to help and hold space, even though I die a little bit every time. I like it when someone in the know "he"s me, because they're affirming that element of my nature.
Mostly I'm lying low in Sheville for the moment. I feel like I ought to use my preferred epicine terms "ze" and "hir" a bit more, but it's only relatively recently that the internal gender struggle has been a public thing and it feels precious to start insisting on it. Especially since a lot of the time I don't feel like a he, a she or a ze, I just feel like an it.
