Quote from: Lilith.lupe.tamayo on April 26, 2018, 09:25:10 PM
Thank you both for the support, the reason why Im so scared and feel like there is not much Chance to stay together is because a couple of years ago I brought up the idea of transition and it didn't go very good
That for sure is a valid reason to be afraid. Psychologically speaking you have been trained to fear speaking about it through classical conditioning.
The unconditioned stimulus is a negative response (from your wife) which causes an unconditioned response in you to fear that behavior. Talking about transitioning would be your neutral stimulus which got paired up with your unconditioned stimulus (negative response) which triggered your unconditioned response (fear) so now, you fear talking about transitioning (think of Pavlov's dog and ringing the bell)!
Only, as smartsy as that sounds, in this case that's not necessarily a good thing
I don't need to talk fancy to tell you this:
People can have a change of heart.Maybe she was really against it in the past but who knows, maybe something happened to her that softened her heart to the subject without you ever noticing.
There's also the chance that she can learn to change her heart if you take steps yourself to support her as well (she may also be needing support, remember that).
Of course it can't be denied that there is also a chance that it just won't work out and she really will not be ok with it ever. It's sad, but it can't be denied. But that's where you have to ask yourself what it is you really want and need. And like I said in my last comment, if it's possible, try to see if you can both work through it rather than let it break you apart.
Who knows, maybe she will be upset, but learn to get better. Can't know if you never try.