Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 11, 2018, 08:10:08 PM
On another site, I learned about one trans trender that did it for a peculiar reason. This person thought of themself as a "social justice warrior", and would bash anybody (including transsexuals and intersex) if they did not believe everything the exact same way as that trans trender did. More often than not, it was all about bashing cis people for having questions. Yes, I feel his person was a bit demented, not only for being hateful, but for opting to alter their body in order to have an excuse to be hateful.
Maybe I just don't understand why anyone would do it. Perhaps I really don't want to know why or how someone would do that. It seems to me that person had a very special circumstance that we don't encounter much.

that doesn't sound like a justice warrior, that sounds like someone that was so hurt as a child that they only know hate, and are lashing out at the world for it. that person makes me feel sorry and pity them, and I wish that there weren't people like that out there. and not to be mean, but that person needs a frickin therapist or some way that is nonviolent to vent this anger and hate out so they aren't harming the rest of us.

Quote from: Lilly G on July 11, 2018, 08:19:40 PM
that doesn't sound like a justice warrior, that sounds like someone that was so hurt as a child that they only know hate, and are lashing out at the world for it. that person makes me feel sorry and pity them, and I wish that there weren't people like that out there. and not to be mean, but that person needs a frickin therapist or some way that is nonviolent to vent this anger and hate out so they aren't harming the rest of us.

This may be the only person I encountered that admitted to being transtrender, and I certainly hope nobody else is doing it for hateful purposes.  Unless they admit it, it is unwise to assume that anybody is. But, this person seemed mentally unstable enough to be one of those people that will abuse public restroom priviledges, just to make a twisted, absurd point.

I can't imagine anyone would be crazy enough to go through all of this to be trendy. I've always held that you can't change your true nature, anyone crazy enough to do all this for a trend would end up with the same problem we have - dysphoria and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Very interesting topic to bring up, Tatiana, and when I saw it, my chest got all knotted. I can't go into as much detail as I would like to because of time, but I want to throw in my experience, too. Kylo and Sephirah amazing insight as per usual. In fact, it was Sephirah's post which put me at ease.

I often am worried that I am just transgender similar to what you might call a transtrender. 
I didn't really experience dysphoria before transitioning
I don't intend to get SRS or FFS
I am constantly gushing over how much I love this community(and I do)
I do not think I wish I were cis from birth
I did not even think I could be transgender until 30(no, dressing up as a kid)

I d In the R U OK thread, I did express this worry after reading another thread that sparked it.

This thread put my weary thoughts at ease, though. Because I was making steps to transition FOR MYSELF and only AFTER realizing I needed to transition socially(because I had 0 social life before transitioning) did I seek out a community. And we have a wonderful community, and I love you all! <3

I can totally understand if a person saw a supportive community or wanted attention that they would lie in order to receive it.  I barely understand some of the sexualities mentioned and genders I see on Twitter, but I support people if that's genuine for them. 

I was always a bit of an outcast, and I have lied in the past about my gender/sex in order to garner attention. I honestly can't remember exactly why for the first one, the second was because it was what I thought I was supposed to be. I actually told someone I was a hermaphrodite on Final Fantasy 11. I do not understand why I said that or where it came from, and it's not like I told many people this either, it was 1 maybe 2. I did say I was gay, even going so far as to flirt with a 40-yr old music teacher while I was 16 or so; and I ALMOST traveled to meet him and uh... *music starts playing*

I agree, it does hurt real transgender folk, and it sucks that people have to feel so desperate for attention/love that they often lie to others or themselves, too.

I'm trying to understand is it possible at all. Lets assume, someone made SRS, changed the docs, changed his/her life. The person became trendy. But it is not his/her gender, what about the dysphoria ? So, if people could do it for trend then there is no dysphoria, or we don't know what dysphoria is

Late to the topic here, but my opinion is this falls into the same category as the 'transgender agenda.' I think it comes from those who would try to delegitimize us in any way possible. My transition was anything but trendy, and as for my agenda, it is highly personal to my life. Any activistic thoughts (agenda) on my part would be to counter the massive social stigma that society  puts on us. Without any type of attempt to counter the world's horrible portrayal of us, it  would continue as is. My hat is off to anyone brave enough to speak out. Even this Pope who was looked at as more progressive on gay rights, seems to push the thought that we are trying to recruit others, especially young people. Would any of you want to draw someone into dealing with trans issues if they weren't trans? Don't think so. Sorry if this is a tangent, but I seem to have a 'hidden agenda' that even I didn't know about. 

Hello again Tatiana

Yes the term applies here in UK also.

I think if a cisperson pretended to be trans to be trendy, then I think such a person would fall due the gatekeeping process. Surgery would not be permitted. HRT would hopefully not be permitted. That is why we have therapists and psychologists.

I think one reason this group is gradually gaining traction is that so many people do not take us seriously and I think what we are doing is "life style choice" which I frankly find insulting. The media which I feel is mainly against us wishes to give support to any group which may intentionally or inadvertently give us a bad name.

These transtrenders do not have GD, they are not transgender, they are not serious and they are helping the opposition to maintain the social taboo against our community.

Hugs to you

Pamela

Quote from: sarah1972 on July 11, 2018, 01:33:53 PM
I don't think there are many transgender going this route to be trendy, if at all. It is still a very rocky road plastered with misconceptions and animosity. Many here are still taking a large personal toll for their gender expression.

What has changed are two general things:  Society has become more accepting of the fact that the assigned sex at birth sometimes does not match a persons identity. And Society has become more knowledgeable.

If I take a look at my personal history: If there would have been knowledge about transgender in the 80's I might have transitioned in my teen years. Growing up in a smaller, very conservative town, I may have still not done it back then. Even being perceived gay resulted in being branded and discriminated against. Of course, this has now changed too.

So there are these two factors, knowledge and acceptance, which have changed in recent years. Now you have the normal percentage of transgender as well as the big group of transgender - like me - who have suppressed their feelings for so many years. This does result in a larger number of people to come out as trans which could then be interpreted as a trend. It will even out over time.

So, no trend but a lot of catching up to do...

Hugs,

Sarah

Hello Sarah

I just wish to add to my previous comment that I completely agree with you. It is not a proper trend as such. Whereas I believe the societal taboo still applies today (especially in the media), essentially your second para is correct. There is not so much opposition as there was. We are gradually gaining acceptance. We shall win!

You make an interesting point about transgender statistics - so many of us are now coming out of hiding but I am not so sure the "catching up" will decline as I suspect there will still be so many who will remain in hiding. Very sad!

Hugs to you

Pamela

Sarah

Just to clarify on the statistics: I think many will remain in hiding and continue to come out later in life and therefore I think we will continue to be an increased demographic for some time to come.

Pamela

There are always outliers and weirdos associated with every human condition.  There are those that want to grind their axes to better split our heads open, resorting to presenting such cases as somehow being the norm when it is no where near so.  A weak way to make a weak point in their weak argument.

Stevi

I cant understand why somone would want to go through transitioning to be trendy
Any story that comes on the news in my country has so much social backlash
That I believe alot of trans people are afraid to even come out

The few times I've seen the term used, it's been applied to prominent non-binary YouTubers like Ash Hardell, so it's people who are both seeking and receiving a lot of attention (as anyone on YouTube does, that's not a bad thing) and who may have much less need for medical intervention and/or external approval for procedures than an MTF or FTM.

Whether people like this are "legit" or just being "trendy," I don't know, but I don't think it really matters, either. I'm not inclined to question anyone who wants to buck gender norms for any reason.

Didn't the term come about (as a derogatory term) after the increased awareness and visibility following Caitlyn Jenner's transition? As in "you're just doing this now because Caitlyn made it trendy".

The term wasn't used, but I've been accused of starting transition when I did because of Caitlyn. 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

To me personal choice trumps anything. if someone is choosing this road recreationally or otherwise, so be it. It may be hard to fathom but it is their choice and their identity. If in doing so, they cause issues with the rest of the community publically, then they have to deal with the consequences of that.

Quote from: pamelatransuk on July 12, 2018, 08:11:18 AM
Hello Sarah

I just wish to add to my previous comment that I completely agree with you. It is not a proper trend as such. Whereas I believe the societal taboo still applies today (especially in the media), essentially your second para is correct. There is not so much opposition as there was. We are gradually gaining acceptance. We shall win!

You make an interesting point about transgender statistics - so many of us are now coming out of hiding but I am not so sure the "catching up" will decline as I suspect there will still be so many who will remain in hiding. Very sad!

Hugs to you

Pamela

The "catching up" will always happen in waves or such because many will be afraid to come out as youth and at early stages for fear of getting into the more harmful and painful situations like I am. the hiding will always happen because there will always be those that are unaccepting and it sickens me to have to say that, but I agree with you here pamela, the catching up will be a thing as long as bigots are in existance.


"people hate what they fear, and fear what they do not understand" -Mathew


hope this quote if not the message helps someone out,
love,
lilly

 When I first started this thread I did so most delicately thinking what if someone is out here because of this.
I just don't want to insult anyone even though I am insulted by them, but that's just the way I work.
But I soon realized that if anyone's here because of this trend that it would be impossible to operate as we all do together. And they would soon be sniffed out by all of you.
It looks like I kind of stirred up a hornet's nest of passion with this topic,  justifiably so.
I can't thank everyone enough from what I've learned from each and everyone of you.
And it's wonderful to have two of my buddy's here contributing.
Thank you so much, o talkative one, I know you well enough in the short time we've had together that you are not one of these trenders Eryn.
And to my very special first buddy that I'll never forget, Pamela. You really poured it on out here, thank you so much.
Love you all Tatiana

 

I understand and follow the OP discussion but lets also remain respectful of others.

10. Bashing or flaming of an individual or group is not acceptable behavior on this website and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.  This includes but is not limited to:
Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term. The same restriction applies to advocating the removal of the T from GLBT.
Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more or less legitimate, deserving, or real than any others.
Posting any topic or making any post that suggests that Trans people are not really men (FTM) or women (MTF), even if done for the purposes of criticism or discussion.
Posting any messages that engages in personal attacks and/or is actively or passively aggressive no matter the provocation.


I don't want to see this thread get into delegitimising any members of our community.


Cindy

Oof.  What a topic.  I've definitely encountered the term, along with other gems like 'sudden onset gender dysphoria' and 'desistance'.

The terms are not broadly used within the transgender community.  They are used, and used heavily, by a number of groups of a certain political and religious bent, as a way of describing transgender people very inaccurately.  In particular these terms are used to describe transgender youth in a very negative light.

A "trans trender" is supposedly someone who claims to be transgender because it is the cool thing to do, "everyone is doing it" or some similar rationalization.  I have had some claim that I wanted to transition because of this, that I had too much time on my hands in retirements and because Bruce decided to transition to Caitlyn, I wanted to also!

*SIGH*

"Sudden Onset Gender Dysphoria" is another made-up term.  Actual gender dysphoria has three properties that mark it as being real; persistent , insistent , and consistent gender identification as a gender other than that sex assigned at birth, as characteristics of dysphoria present in the individual.  It is persistent, and consistent, not appearing 'all of a sudden'.  The only thing sudden about it is someone finally figuring out or admitting what is going on within them.

(Note that a person, particularly youth raised in a very affirming and supportive environment may not necessarily experience actual gender dysphoria, but may still have that persistent , insistent , and consistent gender identification as a gender other than that sex assigned at birth.  When supported, loved, and assured that they will grow up correctly, albeit with a bit of medical intervention around and following puberty, they might not experience dysphoria.  This is a wonderful thing!)

The terms are real, out there, and not particularly supportive of our community.  I see them used primarily as a component of arguments that we are not real, and that supporting or accepting us in any way is injurious to us! 

You can see the terms in use in various references this article points to, for example:

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/06/conservative-medias-attacks-trans-people-become-orwellian/

I'm going to try and explain again and hopefully  I make more sense this time. My life until two years ago was a charade. I pretended to be a man most my life. While I am not feminine physically I do have many of the traits. Such as being emotional, seeking agreement through consensus, lack of ego, talking out problems, compassion. At least these are the traits most women I know. I grew tired long ago talking of sports and cars and guns. I support women's rights and I support our rights. I would never do this because it's trendy. I have been waiting all my 66 years. There is nothing trendy except maybe the clothes I wear. If I could go further it would be a no brainer but I am happy that I am now in my right mind. No reports of depression for a year. During this time I have met some exceptional people that I never would have known if I had not taken the chance. I truly am blessed.

Oy... Reading that article makes my head hurt. How can people be that bothered by something that doesn't affect them at all? I've lived around it my whole life and it still boggles my mind.