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Two days before BA and a wave of emotions.

Started by HappyMoni, July 08, 2018, 09:36:05 PM

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AprilJeane

First I want to wish you the best of luck with your surgery. I'm just starting out in my transition and I'm still terrified of doing little things that no one will notice but me, so I can only imagine what you are going through right now. I wish I had some great advice to give you but don't. I'll I can give is support and say everything will be ok. Stay strong and think positive.

V/R
April
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HappyMoni

Thank you Laurie and Danielle, I've been wanting to thank you for being so supportive to me recently. I have really been lifted by it.
Danielle, the high parts of the roller coaster are definitely nicer. Other parts are unavoidable , well, you know!

AprilJeane, thank you so much for posting your well wishes  and support. It is pretty cool that you are  moving forward. I know it is scary at first but it will get easier and easier. The payoff, getting to be yourself is so worth the things you go through. You have the key, staying positive. Take it a bit at a time and you will do great things.
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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HappyMoni

10 days post op.

Am definitely doing more normal activity with movement. I cut the grass. My bruising is half way gone. The breasts are still tight and sore. They feel kind of like when you have a bee sting and everything swells up.They itch a little but they are so sensitive (except under the nipple which  is still numb.) I have gone braless a lot because it feels the best. I think I picked the right size for my body. I don't look top heavy because they don't  shoot out a lot (moderate profile implants.) I found a good analogy on the size. A giant statue (statue of liberty or something) might have normal to small looking breasts from afar but get up close and they seem really huge. That is how I feel. The double d's look small because they are proportional to my body, but touching them, they seem way big. Can't wait til they drop, soften, and round out. Still will be high on my chest for some time but I feel more like I can touch them.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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LizK

Hi Moni

Thankyou...Each one of your reports helps me understand your recovery and the kinds of things you are experiencing. Its great to hear that things are starting slowly settle for you but I guess its early days. You documenting this has certainly helped me make my decision about having a BA or not and I think if I am ever going to really be happy with my body shape then I agree with you about them being proportional to your body.

Hope they start to ease-up for you

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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islandgirl

Thanks Moni for the update! Following your journey has encouraged me to follow up on my wish to get a BA! Yesterday I started the process and had the papers sent to my surgeons office for consultation! The actual surgery will be a few months away, but at least I am started on this path! I chose the most senior and experienced surgeon on the coast! Hopefully I will like what I hear when I meet with him. I look forward to following your story!

Hugs,
Kelly
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HappyMoni

Thanks Liz and Kelly, it is really nice to know this is useful to you. I haven't seen the full benefit of the boobs yet, but already my confidence and body image have greatly improved. I feel a last chunk of dysphoria dropping off my plate. It is amazing the improvement I have seen, physically, in the last day. I am less sore and much more free to do normal activities today. Also, I am much less sensitive in my skin around the nipples. I feel good about my size and even think the boobs have dropped a little, either that or the swelling is down.
I have discovered tank tops with a 'shelf bra.' They are very comfortable, as a regular bra really rubs the scar area. I go braless as much as possible right now.
I highly recommend a bra sizing session where you don't know the sizes of the implant right away. It let's you judge by look instead of preconceived ideas of some cup size. Just a thought.

Post op day 11
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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HappyMoni

After the very good day two days ago, yesterday was very sore and sensitive to the point of not even wanting clothes to touch the skin. I noticed I looked really big (in the lower part) also this morning and may be slowly seeing some dropping. My theory is that the skin is so stretched to accommodate the implant that it gets really sensitive. As the implant drops more, maybe the stress of the skin causes this burning type of sensitive feeling. I think I am past any pain from any muscle disturbance. All I am experiencing seems related to the skin and surface discomfort. Funny how I don't look big with clothes on, but look humongous with my  shirt off. Going out today, black shirt and no  bra. Black tends to hide what's going on.


Post op Day 13.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Harley Quinn

So day 12 the muscle pain stopped, but skin pain started to become more notable?  How difficult would driving stick be at this point?  Or a long car ride?
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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HappyMoni

Harley, the muscle pain has been gone since day 9 I would say. The skin pain was there to start, day 1, and seems to vary. I thought it was getting better and then it came back. I do think it is related to skin stretch and maybe the trauma from the incisions.  My bruising is almost gone now. I could drive a stick or do a long trip now for sure. I do get more tired and hence more sore later in the day. I suspect you being much younger, you would recover  much quicker than I. If you go smaller implants, recovery would go quicker. (I wouldn't go smaller for this reason though, recovery isn't that bad either way.)
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Laurie

#69
Hi Ms Monica,

  Glad to read things are somewhat better for you physically and that your self image has gotten a big boob oops I meant boost of course. I do hope I can see the finished vastly improved Monica soon after the new boobs additions have healed and settled into their rightful positions.

   I mentioned to a Kaiser customer help desk person today that I will probably be looking for GCS and a BA myself. I cannot believe I am even talking about that possibility for myself at this point. But as I have said elsewhere that door has been opened and they are now possibilities instead of just idle thoughts.

  Please give Ann a hug for me and tell her thank you for her last talk with me. I think it has made a difference. I hope it helped her to understand a little too.

Love ya & hugs,
  Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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kaitylynn

Hey Laurie, pretty amazing where we realize we are in our journeys!  One foot in front of the other and eventually that first mile is behind :)

Hey Moni, thank you for sharing.  I have my BA scheduled for the 27th of next month and the wait is grueling!!!  Just had my friend who recommended my surgeon stop by last night and she showed me his work...now it is even MORE GRUELING!!!  It is awesome to see you all that are just ahead.
Katherine Lynn M.

You've got a light that always guides you.
You speak of hope and change as something good.
Live your truth and know you're not alone.

The restart - 20-Oct-2015
Legal name and gender change affirmed - 27-Sep-2016
Breast Augmentation (Dr. Gupta) - 27-Aug-2018
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SallyChoasAura

Well think about it as a rollercoaster, you're super excited because you waited in line forever, but then as you're starting up that first hill... dread and second thoughts hit you. Your brain is screaming at you because 'how the heck could you do this to me?! I gave you the ability to do almost everything and this is how you repay me?!'
But then... you shoot down that steep hill the ride just keeps going and it's just the most amazing thing ever!!!!
And the rides ends and you're so happy you did it.😊
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Harley Quinn

Quote from: HappyMoni on July 23, 2018, 04:24:19 PM
Harley, the muscle pain has been gone since day 9 I would say. The skin pain was there to start, day 1, and seems to vary. I thought it was getting better and then it came back. I do think it is related to skin stretch and maybe the trauma from the incisions.  My bruising is almost gone now. I could drive a stick or do a long trip now for sure. I do get more tired and hence more sore later in the day. I suspect you being much younger, you would recover  much quicker than I. If you go smaller implants, recovery would go quicker. (I wouldn't go smaller for this reason though, recovery isn't that bad either way.)
Moni
whew...  load off my mind.  I will be in a hotel for 2 weeks post op from GRS/BA.  I'll just have to worry about the GRS portion.  I'm currently fitted for "smaller" 450cc mod+ round silicone (under the muscle/through the armpit).  Being a 36A (according to the surgeon), I would venture to say that they're fairly sizable.  I'm 38, so not exactly "young", but I guess you could say "younger-ish".

I was at an engagement party Saturday and it was brought up that I should "prep" for breast augmentation by using cocoa butter to prevent stretch marks.  I am curious if you've heard or were advised of such a thing.  It kind of sounds like a bit of overkill, but then again... there might be some validity to it.
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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SallyChoasAura

Hey @Harley Quinn this is off topic but I LOVE your profile pic~♥️
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Harley Quinn

Quote from: SallyChoasAura on July 23, 2018, 06:34:55 PM
Hey @Harley Quinn this is off topic but I LOVE your profile pic~♥️
:icon_cool:  Thank you.  A friend of mine found it online and said it reminded her of me.
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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HappyMoni

Hi all,

Laurie, that is indeed exciting news. Go for it Girl! I highly recommend it for those who want it for peace of mind. I only have the voice left to bother me. I look down there now and it just feels so awesome, well besides the discomfort. Hugs, my good friend. You were so nice, I won't even boob boo you tonight. lol

Kaitylynn, you are spot on, the wait is horrible. I hate to tell you this but even after the surgery you still have to wait for the 'sponge bob square boobs' part to be over til they are nice and soft and round. Waiting for my round boobs is kind of a distraction from my waiting for my transplanted hair to grow.  :P

Sally, thanks to you, I am going to dream about how my boobs act on a roller coaster tonight. I have this cartoon image of them pulling down the safety bar and my eyes and boobs bulge out. Heehee

Harley, yes you are young, I have bras older than you. You are brave doing both at the same time. That would have been a lot for me. Then again you get it all done at once. I get it. No, no signs of stretch marks. I think that is more when you expand then contract or am I wrong on that. My partner who was pregnant twice (she's a girl) said it was on contraction where the stretch marks form. Like I said previously, the only prep I did was the progesterone cream. It was very helpful in giving me larger, fuller areolas. They don't look like tiny guy nipples with the stretch from the implants.

One more report. I am starting to get the lightening strikes that happen with the nerves reconnecting. It was the same feeling I had healing from GCS. Quick sharp pains!

If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Jessica

Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 05:11:08 PM
Hi Ms Monica,

  Glad to read things are somewhat better for you physically and that your self image has gotten a big boob oops I meant boost of course. I do hope I can see the finished vastly improved Monica soon after the new boobs additions have healed and settled into their rightful positions.

   I mentioned to a Kaiser customer help desk person today that I will probably be looking for GCS and a BA myself. I cannot believe I am even talking about that possibility for myself at this point. But as I have said elsewhere that door has been opened and they are now possibilities instead of just idle thoughts.

  Please give Ann a hug for me and tell her thank you for her last talk with me. I think it has made a difference. I hope it helped her to understand a little too.

Love ya & hugs,
  Laurie

@Laurie this is the closest to a plan that I've ever seen you make!!

I feel a slap coming on!

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Laurie

Quote from: Jessica on July 23, 2018, 10:15:01 PM
@Laurie this is the closest to a plan that I've ever seen you make!!

I feel a slap coming on!

  You know better... and since you asked for one.....  ((((SLAP))))
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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HappyMoni

Jessica, Laurie, don't you go acting like a couple of boobs on my...agh...boob thread? Okay, now slapping myself!
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
  •  

Jessica

Quote from: HappyMoni on July 23, 2018, 10:33:43 PM
Jessica, Laurie, don't you go acting like a couple of boobs on my...agh...boob thread? Okay, now slapping myself!
Moni

I'm sorry for being a boob on your boob thread!
I should mention I saw over the weekend a blue footed booby buoyantly bouncing on its ......boobies!

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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