Hi boys and girls:
After doing some research, I found an article somewhere which deals with this issue. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
QUOTE "While there is no question that early intervention is of supreme benefit to the transsexual -and the earlier the better- it is often tantamount to suicide to make an error of judgment in the matter of sex reassignment, whatever the degree of alteration. For this reason, careful filters have been created, such as the Benjamin Standards Of Care, to help prevent the occurrence of hideous mistakes. Even so, there are always a few souls, and the suggestion is that the number is large, who use their special gifts to get around the system. Rarely, this results in the partial or total destruction of a life. The blame for such a mistake is squarely on the head of the person seeking reassignment, though some, in their pathos and degradation, attempt to sue or harass the very individuals that gave them what they themselves demanded. There is no bottom to which some humans cannot sink, in their attempt to avoid responsibility for themselves.
It is self responsibility that is the key issue here! There is currently no sure test, no absolute method of determining the gender orientation of any person. While gender issues are deadly serious, they are also exceedingly subjective, and the physicians that have the courage to care for the transsexual or the transgendered must act from a position of acceptance of the claims of the patient. The full burden of responsibility MUST fall only upon the transsexual or transgendered person, for there is no realistic way for any other person to truly know what is best to do for them.
For this reason, it is mandatory that the person with gender issues take total responsibility for their own life. It is required that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. You must define YOURSELF, and you must do so honestly.
The penalty that nature, that reality itself inflicts on the casual, the unwary, the unconcerned and the foolish is ABSOLUTE. Sex reassignment is absolutely ONE WAY ONLY, and attempts to reverse the procedure after completion are sad at best. The bottom line is very simple.
YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE YOUR SEX
If you make a mistake, if you screw up, if you are wrong, you HAVE to live with the consequences, and no matter what you may feel about it, it could ONLY have been your own choice, it is utterly your OWN RESPONSIBILITY. There is no one else to rationally blame.
This means, of course, that the person who is not entirely sure of what they are is in a special, terrible hell. Time is quickly ticking away their easily mutable youth, and changing them in one direction or another whether they like it or not, and if they act wrongly to solve their misery, they could end up FAR worse off.
Therefore one must act more quickly to come to a better understanding of one's true identity, to come to self understanding, than almost any human being. It is a tall order. The question, is how to do this.
There are many resources for this process, from counselors and therapists to friends and even occasionally family. Nothing can replace the only real method, being willing to face one's own true feelings, which with or without guidance, is a solitary pursuit. You must make the effort to try to face yourself, and NEVER GIVE UP. Only you can ever really know you...though others can often act as mirrors if you are too close to your issues to see them directly. The key to success in self knowledge is to pursue it. Those enslaved to denial and avoidance, who put off and procrastinate, are the souls destined for doom. If you have gender issues that hurt badly enough that they need to be addressed, then you must confront them. Talk about them to those you trust, hang on, pursue, learn, study and focus until you finally can decide who you are and what you want. Putting it off will only make things vastly worse. It is hard work, it is not easy, and it hurts to do this. But remember, it hurts anyway, or you would not be driven by your gender issues. That pain will likely only get worse as the years progress. Regret is terrible, whether for lost time, or for making the wrong choice.
THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR KNOWING YOURSELF
The bottom line here is that to figure out what you truly want, you have to stop repressing, denying and hiding, and come Out to yourself. You have to be emotionally willing to accept whatever you may turn out to be. If you do not know what you want, it is because you are disassociated from your own feelings, as a defense mechanism. The only solution is to overcome that which made you deny your feelings. That is done by examining your attitudes and beliefs, questioning them, and dropping the ones that cause you to feel like disassociation is a safe thing. Perhaps you may have internalized homophobia, or religious intolerance of your own condition, or a scolding parental program running in the back of your mind, or fear of rejection, or just plain do not want to face the inevitable pain of dealing with things. Whatever is the cause (or causes, more likely), you must find it and dispose of it. When that is done, then you must start to really feel what you are, want and need.
HALFWAY MEASURES: THINGS YOU CAN DO TO TEST YOURSELF
One excellent way to learn is not theoretical, it is by hands on experience. In the circumstance of discovering gender identity, a supreme tactic is to experiment.
The best experiments would ideally be nonfatal, non-permanent and very revealing. Perhaps the single most effective tool for self knowledge of gender identity, is to experiment with hormones.
To much of the medical establishment this is a bold, or at worst, a precipitous thing to suggest. It is not without some risk, but the risk is fairly small, short term.
Go on hormones for up to six months.
Beyond six months, the effects of hormone therapy start to become permanent, with eight months being the edge of going too far. Within six months, almost all effects, at least of estrogens, are reversible over time. It should be noted that for Female-To-Male transsexuals, testosterone changes are not reversible at all.
Hormone therapy is very revealing. The test procedure very simple. If after several months, you love and prefer how you feel, think and are, then you are probably on the right track, indications are suggestive that this is right for you. If you really don't like how you feel, think and are, if it makes you uncomfortable, disturbed and uneasy, then this is a direct indication that changing your sex is not the best choice.
Hormones affect almost every aspect of your functioning, and simply by noting if the experience is good or bad, you should get some idea of what you really want. Remember though, that what you want could be anything, even some comfortable place Other than Male or Female, so keep an open mind.
Simply quit when you choose. Take responsibility for this.
A less biological test is to simply live in your chosen gender role for a given time. This is often hard to arrange, but a vacation or time off, or other retreat can provide the space to experiment. If you are brave enough, or passable enough to do so openly, then do so.
If it is awful, it is not right. If it is good, it is.
THE THINGS I DID
Things that helped me to know myself included the horrifying realization that I was gradually developing adult sex characteristics, the careful use of psychoactives to destroy my inner inhibitions and barriers, direct life-or-death confrontation with my problem, and on a more gentle side, the effects of movies and stories.
I paid attention to the things that made me cry and feel powerful emotions and used those to help me uncover my own repressed desires. By pursuing my own obsessions and fascinations, while at the same time making sure that I observed my own feelings while doing them, I gradually broke down my own internal barriers. I experimented with my issues and made note of what made me the happiest. I kept a diary and used it to total up my own actions to gain a perspective over time. I sought out the stories and ideas of others who had already done what I imagined I wanted to do.
But in the end, I dared to take total responsibility for my own life, made a choice, and resolved to accept the consequences with honor and courage. Ultimately, that is all you can ever do.
Transsexual and Transgendered people can and do live happy, rewarding lives, all the better for having faced their own issues and winning through.
I know, because I have done so, and so have my many successful transsexual and transgendered friends.
Of course you can, too. You just have to be willing to be courageous, responsible, and intelligent. Gambatte !"UNQUOTE
tinkerbell
