Quote from: RealLacy on November 25, 2018, 09:08:19 PM

Please dont throw stones.
One of these days it won't be like that!

You can be my makeup drill sergeant any day! You always look fabulous!
Lacy

I would never throw stones! I live in a glass house! XD

I figured out a few things that work for me makeup-wise but I have a long way to go still! Each new event or look or change in hair color is a chance to play with my makeup look, which I consider a learning opportunity. I have cis friends that never put much time into their looks, and I respect that. It's more important for us though in redefining others' perception of us so I've spent a lot of time working at it. Only in the last 3 months or so has the holy trinity of clothes, hair and makeup really come together to project the woman I want to show to the world and it's an amazing feeling. I have absolutely no doubt that you'll get there.

I can attest to Sephora being pricey. My advice is to seek out a palette with a decent array of colors you can use for shadows and color correcting.

A makeover in the city sounds so enchanting! Your friend is awesome. I actually have yet to do that "in store makeover" which is a rite of passage for so many transwomen. The closest I've come to it is my friends helping me hone in on a look though I still did most of the application and made the color/brush choices with their assistance. I do, however, go into stores like Sephora and seek consultation on colors for my skin tone etc. That was embarrassing at first because they would start to apply it to my face in front of everyone but it seems like a natural thing now.

As for filters. I used them for years. I still do a little sweetening at times. No shame in it.

Quote from: RealLacy on November 08, 2018, 04:58:02 PM
He said that I was the most masculine guy he had ever met. I would be the last person he would have guessed to be transgender! I had hidden it well.

My sister and mom like to send me texts laden with how good a MAN I am, how good of a SON/BROTHER I am. It is annoying and hurtful, but communication between us has never been frequent, and as long as they don't right out reject me or my family I'm okay with that.

I just re-read your report, because I had missed details before.  Specifically the above one!
After I came out to my longest ever female friend, who is two years older than I, and exactly of the age my dead sister would be, whose place she took over.
She said "who did give you those dumb ideas, you are the manliest man I ever met!  You should talk to Jim (her son in law, a evangelical pastor), and he can help you with the right resources to make you right again.  And you just need the right medication to overcome this disease!  I will pray for your health!"

Yes, as we know, we just need to swallow the right pills (is there a re-gendering pill?) and have some bed rest, and we will wake up cis again!

I still feel so good that your wife is with you on your path!


PS: My picture, too went through a little computer work prior to putting it up as avatar (and the long hair is fake), the face had some wrinkles removed, but nose and chin, etc are real.  And yes, I do not have an Adams Apple!

@RealLacy
I absolutely love your new Avatar/Profile Photo....
...you look very beautiful and feminine for sure.

Thank you for sharing and treating all of us to your new picture.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Hi, Lacy.

I love your new photo!  You look drop-dead gorgeous.  If that's only one month on hormones, you are going to be a knockout after a couple of years.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 26, 2018, 12:01:49 AM
@RealLacy
I absolutely love your new Avatar/Profile Photo....
...you look very beautiful and feminine for sure.

Thank you for sharing and treating all of us to your new picture.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle
Thank you very much for the compliment! I hope to be able to enjoy looking more feminine on a regular basis and not just on a special day!
I felt it was time to put my face out there.

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 26, 2018, 07:14:32 AM
Hi, Lacy.

I love your new photo!  You look drop-dead gorgeous.  If that's only one month on hormones, you are going to be a knockout after a couple of years.

@KathyLauren
I'm blushing! Make up is a friend to me! That is unfortunately not my regular look. I hope hormones will be kind to me. Either way, since starting HRT I feel so much more confident in myself and comfortable with my femininity.

One of the people who knows at work commented on how feminine I sit now!

You ladies make a girl feel special!
Lacy

Wow Lacy I have to agree with everyone else that you look great! 

I wasn't aware that we started HRT at about the same time.  I am a lot older (63) so I won't get the benefits you will.  I am not counting on breasts or my hair coming back but I can share with you that my attitude has become, well... perky.  I have been happy before but I have never, ever felt perky in my life.

I know you saw my photo that I posted briefly as my avatar.  I took it down because I am not out yet and I was concerned about being recognized before I shared it with my family.

Reading your story I was so happy to know that the darkness that surrounded you is gone.  My warmest wishes to you on your personal  journey.

Hugs,

Emma

Quote from: Emma1017 on November 30, 2018, 04:29:35 PM
Wow Lacy I have to agree with everyone else that you look great! 

I wasn't aware that we started HRT at about the same time.  I am a lot older (63) so I won't get the benefits you will.  I am not counting on breasts or my hair coming back but I can share with you that my attitude has become, well... perky.  I have been happy before but I have never, ever felt perky in my life.

I know you saw my photo that I posted briefly as my avatar.  I took it down because I am not out yet and I was concerned about being recognized before I shared it with my family.

Reading your story I was so happy to know that the darkness that surrounded you is gone.  My warmest wishes to you on your personal  journey.

Hugs,

Emma

Thank you Emma!

I did manage to see your picture before you took it done. I can understand the need to keep things private for awhile

That's right! We are hormone sisters! Happy month and a week on HRT!
How are you feeling with things?
Some of my closer friends are noticing my changes in skin and emotional responses!

Lacy

Quote from: RealLacy on December 03, 2018, 12:59:34 PM
Thank you Emma!

I did manage to see your picture before you took it done. I can understand the need to keep things private for awhile

That's right! We are hormone sisters! Happy month and a week on HRT!
How are you feeling with things?
Some of my closer friends are noticing my changes in skin and emotional responses!

Lacy

I am trailing you guys by on week I think.  I do not feel any changes at all, because I always had baby skin, and pretty female emotions ( that is an intersex thing).

I hope I will start to feel something pretty soon!

How do I get that ticker you have onto my profile?  would you please be so kind and enlighten me a bit?

Thanks and hugs!
Linde

Quote from: Dietlind on December 03, 2018, 02:04:28 PM
I am trailing you guys by on week I think.  I do not feel any changes at all, because I always had baby skin, and pretty female emotions ( that is an intersex thing).

I hope I will start to feel something pretty soon!

How do I get that ticker you have onto my profile?  would you please be so kind and enlighten me a bit?

Thanks and hugs!
Linde

I like the shortened "Linde" very cute!

I somewhat envy your long standing femininity! You were blessed with the nice skin, beginning breast growth and emotional standing that is going to take me a lot of time to catch up with!
I love your avatar! Very Pretty!

I sent you a PM with the info on the ticker!

Lacy

Quote from: RealLacy on December 03, 2018, 03:23:02 PM
I like the shortened "Linde" very cute!

I somewhat envy your long standing femininity! You were blessed with the nice skin, beginning breast growth and emotional standing that is going to take me a lot of time to catch up with!
I love your avatar! Very Pretty!

I sent you a PM with the info on the ticker!

Lacy

Thank you for the link and explanation!  As you see, it worked.
Well my femininity was a curse when I tried to grow up like the rest of the guys, I never was as strong as they, I never was as fast as they, and most of all, I was not really interested in their wild games, because I never could keep up.  The girls did not like me either, because I was a boy!  I became very introvert over the years, I was so introverted that I was concerned to pick up the phone when it rang, because I did not know what to say.

Later in life I learned to cope with it, and thanks to special training for almost two years, this introvert was turned into an extrovert, because I had to be able to speak  for medical seminars.  It helped later that I had an absolutely gender neutral job, but my marriage fell into pieces, after I could not play the guy role anymore.  At that time I still did not know what was wrong with me, I just was different and could not function as a male anymore.
Now I know that this was the time I had my female type menopause, and the hormones threw me out of whack!

But now that I finally decided to be a woman, all those things are of course of an advantage for me.
I appreciate it also that people like I are aging way slower, it seems that my entire body is 20 or so years younger than my biological age
I am heading very fast to the ripe age of 76, and have not lost a single hair on my head.  Thank you for the compliment on the avatar picture.  I look really like this, I don't have any make up on, i had no facial surgery, nothing.  I just used Photoshop to remove a few major wrinkles from my face.  My beauty spa is working on a permanent solution against those wrinkles.
As I said, now I am blessed with my young looks, but I was over 40 already when I was still carded to buy a pack of cigarettes!

My business is switching insurance companies. I was super afraid that the coverage for my transgender care would be compromised. After looking through everything, the coverage is just as good. But there is bad news.

I called to check if my gender therapist and my psychiatrist were in network. They both work for the same company. I also called the Hospital where I get my gender treatment done to see if they were in network. Thankfully my doctor at the hospital takes my insurance.
Unfortunately the company where I go for therapy and anxiety/depression meds does not. I feel like I have not let my emotions freak out about this, but it is really starting to lay heavy on me. I have developed such a wonderful relationship with my therapist, and leaving here would be heart breaking. I am hoping to work something out. As soon as she found out my insurance wouldn't cover me going there, she had the scheduler get me in for an appointment tomorrow at 4:00.

I really don't want to leave her, and hope I can find something that will work for me to keep seeing her. It will be over $700 a month difference as it stands if I continued going to her. That includes getting my wife therapy also. ARGH!

I will find out tomorrow what will happen, but am not feeling super great about things. On top of all this my older sister sent me another passive aggressive "You're Sinning" text this morning and afternoon. For the most part, I have no issue ignoring her, but this time she has really hit my buttons. Terrible timing for her.

Trying to stay positive!
Lacy

@RealLacy
Well, all of what your wrote is not very good news, on two fronts.

First, regarding you new insurance company covering your current therapy sessions.... bummer.... it will be difficult to switch therapists particularly since you have had such good feelings about the one that you have... but if you must find another one, do know that you just may find a good substitute that you can feel comfortable with and find them helpful.

Secondly, .... wow, your older sister's  "you're sinning"  text to you, even if it wasn't bad timing and coincided with your therapist and insurance issue, but now such unkind and non-accepting words from a family member...  you will probably never change her mind, even if you were a top debater and negotiator, so if I were you I would give it my best effort to ignore, don't waste your time responding, and move on to happier moments with those that accept you, or at least not shoving things like that in your face.

Hugs and more hugs....... and well wishes.
Danielle

Quote from: RealLacy on December 05, 2018, 02:53:42 PM
My business is switching insurance companies. I was super afraid that the coverage for my transgender care would be compromised. After looking through everything, the coverage is just as good. But there is bad news.

I called to check if my gender therapist and my psychiatrist were in network. They both work for the same company. I also called the Hospital where I get my gender treatment done to see if they were in network. Thankfully my doctor at the hospital takes my insurance.
Unfortunately the company where I go for therapy and anxiety/depression meds does not. I feel like I have not let my emotions freak out about this, but it is really starting to lay heavy on me. I have developed such a wonderful relationship with my therapist, and leaving here would be heart breaking. I am hoping to work something out. As soon as she found out my insurance wouldn't cover me going there, she had the scheduler get me in for an appointment tomorrow at 4:00.

I really don't want to leave her, and hope I can find something that will work for me to keep seeing her. It will be over $700 a month difference as it stands if I continued going to her. That includes getting my wife therapy also. ARGH!

I will find out tomorrow what will happen, but am not feeling super great about things. On top of all this my older sister sent me another passive aggressive "You're Sinning" text this morning and afternoon. For the most part, I have no issue ignoring her, but this time she has really hit my buttons. Terrible timing for her.

Trying to stay positive!
Lacy

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 05, 2018, 04:39:03 PM
@RealLacy
Well, all of what your wrote is not very good news, on two fronts.

First, regarding you new insurance company covering your current therapy sessions.... bummer.... it will be difficult to switch therapists particularly since you have had such good feelings about the one that you have... but if you must find another one, do know that you just may find a good substitute that you can feel comfortable with and find them helpful.

Secondly, .... wow, your older sister's  "you're sinning"  text to you, even if it wasn't bad timing and coincided with your therapist and insurance issue, but now such unkind and non-accepting words from a family member...  you will probably never change her mind, even if you were a top debater and negotiator, so if I were you I would give it my best effort to ignore, don't waste your time responding, and move on to happier moments with those that accept you, or at least not shoving things like that in your face.

Hugs and more hugs....... and well wishes.
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle,
I know its been a week since you responded, and I never replied. I apologize for that. The last week has been a rather rough and unsure one for me. I am not saying it was "bad" necessarily, just one that has kept me more in my head than I would like.
Your response was very welcomed, and I have gone back and read it multiple times during the week. I know I am not the only trans-woman that gets to hear, or feel the disconnection and judgement of family. I have always been a debater when it comes to family. I feel as though I have won some major battles in the past, and that tends to be my first natural response to comments like the ones my sister makes. It is hard, because she and I were always close (probably closer in life matters than I am with my younger sister). The difference is that I am not a carbon copy of my parents. I never followed them blindly, or took everything they said as the end all be all. She did that in most ways. As we have grown into our adult selves, she has turned into someone I find hard to relate to.

The feeling of completely losing my sister, as I agree it is not worth the energy of trying to change her mind, and potentially losing 2 of my 3 doctors was a bit overwhelming.
My therapist found me an opening last Thursday so we could talk and have a "Goodbye" session. At that time, I was still hoping that the insurance situation would be able to be modified or fixed somehow. Now that the week as gone by, I have had to accept that it is what it is. The loss has happened. I feel like my last meeting with my therapist was a good one, and she shared her continuing support. She was the first person I really came out to and she helped me accept everything about myself. That is something that I hold dear, and won't have with anyone else.
I have decided to look back at the past year with her as a fond time, a very important time and relish the support and friendship that was received.

Although it isn't the best timing, being on HRT for a month and a half, in the same token it feels like a good enough time to find some one new. I am taking steps down the next portion of my journey, and I am glad that I had her there to help me get started with it. I still have not looked at new therapists, and probably won't until after my check up appointment with the doctor overseeing my hormone treatment. Thank God I didn't lose her!

The one thing that has really helped over the last few days, is that my wife has shown a lot more support. In a way, I think it is because she likes to defend me against my family, and it helps her feel like she is taking forward steps with me. I also   have found myself much more in the Christmas Spirit than I have ever been since we got married. She is noticing the positive effects that HRT is having on my overall health and well being. We talk more about "nothing" than we have in a long time! It is like we are getting to know each other all over again. As much as you can with someone you have been with for 9 years and have 3 kids with!
She has asked for my clothing size in women's and has also asked me about my feelings on various, very feminine jewelry and clothing items. She even picked me up a shirt the other day when she and my son with "thrifting"! Unfortunately, it was a bit small, but fit here nicely (which means it was very small) considering it was supposed to be my size! One of the joys of women's clothes. You can't be sure they fit until you try them on! Either way, it was the thought that really mattered to me. It was a feeling of more acceptance from my favorite person, while I was losing some more of my relationship with my sister. I will take that trade!

Again Danielle, I really appreciate your support!
Lacy

So a few quick things...
I am wearing my favorite female sweater to work today! I have been wearing female ankle boots or flats to work for months, but this is the first time I have overtly (without hiding it under a jacket) a female top to work! I had the help of my friend in HR encouraging me to do it yesterday.
LOL! I am never nervous to wear things like this in public, but there is no way you can look  so it is weird that I had to have some help with a friendly push! I feel it is a way for me to feel better about everything after last week. I feel so comfortable with it, and am finding myself expressing more feminine behavior today. I am not fully out at work, but have been slowly introducing feminine things slowly. earrings, necklaces, rings, shoes, and now clothing. The best part, is that I know everyone notices these changes. I have seen them all check out my new shoes or earrings. They will either take a gander and then continue on with what they are doing, or better yet complement me on what I am wearing!
Thankfully I entered this job in a manner that is allowing me to get away with dressing like this and not having people try to crucify me.

On another exciting note, my nipples are getting very sore. This morning it feels like someone has been pinching them. I am super excited about that! Besides some on and off itching, this is the first boob action I have experienced! I have a high pain threshold...but from everything I read, if this continues (which I expect it will) then I will be needing to protect them within a few weeks or sooner. Yay for second puberty!

Lacy

Quote from: RealLacy on December 12, 2018, 01:13:11 PM
.

On another exciting note, my nipples are getting very sore. This morning it feels like someone has been pinching them. I am super excited about that! Besides some on and off itching, this is the first boob action I have experienced! I have a high pain threshold...but from everything I read, if this continues (which I expect it will) then I will be needing to protect them within a few weeks or sooner. Yay for second puberty!

Lacy

Congratulations, my nipples are hard and erect for about 3 years now, one gets used to it, I think.  I have those stick on breast pads that I use if I wear thin stuff and no bra, to cover the nipples.  Those things work well, I got them from Amazon.

Lacy, I am loving these updates. Your wife sounds amazing and I HEART the way you describe her as "your favorite person." You're so much braver than I was at work when I was still in the closet. I bet you looked baller in your sweater.

Welcome to the sore boob club. XD Since you have three kids, I imagine you'll need to 3 times the defense I do against my one rambunctious daughter!

Much love, sister. So glad to hear you're doing well.

Quote from: elle's bells on December 12, 2018, 07:51:39 PM
Lacy, I am loving these updates. Your wife sounds amazing and I HEART the way you describe her as "your favorite person." You're so much braver than I was at work when I was still in the closet. I bet you looked baller in your sweater.

Welcome to the sore boob club. XD Since you have three kids, I imagine you'll need to 3 times the defense I do against my one rambunctious daughter!

Much love, sister. So glad to hear you're doing well.

Thanks for following them! My wife is great. I love her more every day! She has been super strong during this entire time in our life. It is still tough for her, but she is making great strides. I'm just trying to take it slowly with her!
I haven't told her about my nipple pain yet, but it is still there this morning and not any better feeling! She has shopped for bras for me years ago when I was still in denial and thinking this would pass (as did she). So hopefully me shopping for t-shirt bras now won't be too much for her.

Regarding the kids...I hope they make triple padded bras! My 15 month old was crawling all over me last night and she kept making contact with my tenderness! Now when they come running over to me and jump on my chair I have to protect two areas instead of just my lap!

It felt good being in feminine clothes yesterday. I was nervous in the morning, but ended up in a situation where I had to talk to all my staff and staff from another department. After that, it was not something that I could change! One of my employees actually complimented my sweater and told me how much she liked it! She is actually doing that a lot more with everything fem that I try out. I feel like she may be suspecting something! Lol, gotta love it!

Lacy

Good morning,
I can't believe we are facing another Monday and another week in the face. The weekend was looooong!
My 5 year old had the stomach bug and missed his dance recital. I feel really bad for him as he is the only boy in his class and was going to be Rudolph. He got to twirl each of the girls as the came on stage! He has been shy the past couple years, and he was excited to perform this year. He cam down with it Friday night and was confined to a sectioned off couch all day Saturday. We watched a lot of cartoons. Thankfully by last night he seemed to be back to his ornery healthy self.

My 7 year old was in the dance recital with my wife helping her between costume changes from 1 pm until 10 pm. So so long! She did fantastic in all her songs, but really nailed her ballet song. She wants to audition for the studios "company" team next year and start competing. Her dream is to make it onto "Dancing with the Stars Junior"!

The baby stayed home with myself and my son. She is getting the last few teeth in. She didn't go to sleep until midnight last night, and was up at 5 this morning! Gotta love it!

Today is the first day I am wearing a bra to work. My tender chest has commanded it. It is a sports bra, but has regular size straps that are easily detectable under my t-shirt. I am wearing a patterned button up shirt as a jacket and that seems to have hidden the bra pretty well. I will be needing to take a trip to the store this afternoon to pick up a few more bras that have more undershirt like straps.
It is very odd to be added an extra undergarment to my attire! It feels different, but very comfortable, and is providing the much need protection.

My sister text me last night with another "I've been thinking about you" text. Nothing besides that, i.e. no judgmental add-on's. She wants to talk today over lunch. If you have read my previous posts, you will understand that I am not looking forward to this phone call. I know I can tell her no, but I feel like if maybe we talk I can get her to stop with the annoying texts. That is my hopeful expectations at least. I figure I will be in that call in about 4 to 5 hours from now. Wish me luck!

I hope all my friends here on Susan's had a good weekend and have a great start to their week!
Lacy

Sorry to hear about your boy being sick.  Not stage fright, I hope?

Congrats on wearing the bra to work.  Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

I hope it goes well with your sister.  I understand your reluctance.  You don't necessarily want to cut off a family member, but, again ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

 Good morning Lacy
I wish you good luck with the telephone call with your sister.  I don't know what to say, because I don't have no sister anymore (she died over 5 years ago, I wish she would still be around, and could text me whatever she wants to)

Quote
My 5 year old had the stomach bug and missed his dance recital.

Are you sure it was a "stomach bug"?  The CDC came to the Concussio that over 90% of the so called stomach bugs are really different kinds of food poisonings.  You might want to see what he at  7 to 34  hours prior to this.