I'm still pre-transition but from a pretty young age my family made it clear I shouldn't "act like a girl" so I did my best to try to be more masculine.  I'm really bad at trying to be masculine though so I always had trouble connecting with people since I never felt like I could reveal my true self.  It can be really hard to unlearn some of those things and just let my guard down after years of practice, but it's such a relief when I do.

I presenting in a Duck Dynasty type way. When I switched jobs a bit over 2 years ago, I stopped presenting that way and am now seen as the "possibly bi guy". That should hopefuly be easier to work with when coming out at work, but most of my extended family haven't seen me in years.

Lacy

Definitely very male.  If/when I come out, it will shock a lot of people.  I figure I will lose all of my male friends.

Quote from: CarlyMcx on November 12, 2018, 10:43:28 AM
I was a tough little guy.  I got the swimming merit badge in Boy Scouts (one of the hardest ones), I was a big wave surfer, I built hot rods,  I was a bicycle racer.  I had six pack abs most of the time.  I drove Ferrari's and Lamborghinis on the race track.  Between the ages of six and nineteen I was in a total of six fist fights.  I re-piped and re-wired my house, did all the work myself.

I am very happy I am not that guy any more.  Being him was a lot of work!

I like to think he is happily retired somewhere in my imagination, driving a 1970's Camaro along a beach somewhere.

Hi from another ex-bike racer!  I really used the bike to self-medicate.  For 3-4 hours at a time, I was not trans.  All I had to think about was the next pedal stroke, the slight burn in my lungs and avoiding the lactic acid buildup.  Then, during the recovery, I was too physically exhausted to really think about things.   

As a roadie, I had a lot of fun along the way and met some great people, plus I know every inch of most of the iconic Alpine climbs.  Mainly, though, I did it to medicate and avoid addressing who I really was.

Slightly feminine straight guy...no idea what medical transition would do to my sexuality.

To be homest, my feminine nature did wonders for attracting women as I grew up.
Lots of alerts when I look back...loads of times I'd end up in bed with amazing women and
I'd not do 'the deed'.
I just loved the company and intimacy of beautiful women

Quote from: Sarah77 on November 12, 2018, 02:16:00 PM
Slightly feminine straight guy...no idea what medical transition would do to my sexuality.

To be homest, my feminine nature did wonders for attracting women as I grew up.
Lots of alerts when I look back...loads of times I'd end up in bed with amazing women and
I'd not do 'the deed'.
I just loved the company and intimacy of beautiful women

That sounds exactly like my experiences! There were so many times I literally just slept with women, not "Slept". That alone was sufficient most of the time. Of course I caught all manner of crap about from my guy friends.

I was definately not ever on the "manly" side of things. I tried to be manly because that's what society 3xpects and rewards, but deep down i had no motivation for it, so that never went very far. I definately always had a very feminine self image deep down that I hid from meself until my 30s just in case someone could, ya know, read minds.

I could never relate to guys on a "I'm one of this group" level, which was a source of a lot of guilt for me until I figured out it's ok for me to belong where I feel I belong. It was very easy for me to superficially fit in with "the guys" because to me those conversations aren't very nuanced and have a consistent routine (sports? Sports! :-p). I get far more enjoyment from female social interaction both giving and enjoyable. I do feel a sense of belonging in a group of women, but I still firmly denying this if myself asks.

tldr; tried & failed to be manly, hid feminine-ness, was a nothing, guys are easy to fit in with for me but not preferable nor enjoyqble.

I never fooled anyone. Many years later I found out I was called Emily behind my back. No one dared say it though!

I have always being fem even when I was kid,

Anna

Straight male, not a femme gay.

Quote from: StacyRenee on November 12, 2018, 10:21:03 AM
I was quiet and an introvert. Not so much feminine as just a skinny, wimpy boy. I was bullied and teased often for being like that. I had some friends, but none I would consider close. As an adult I became more introverted and basically have no friends.

Now that I've started my transition, I'm much more open and friendly, but I'm still very much a homebody and socialize very rarely.

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I was just telling someone about this. I used to called a sissy boy or that I looked like a girl as a kid. Secretly down inside I loved when they called me that. I think the estrogen is finally stripping away the male patterned fat on my face shift back around to let the fem features through. Someone told me that just last week. Does anyone else notice this? The skin on your jaw feels thinner, while the skin on the cheek bone is thicker and the centers of your cheeks goes in instead of out, making your face look longer? My nose is even a tiny bit narrower but it was small and narrow to begin with.

I just want to be a sissy boy in a pink sissy dress showing off my perky B cups, open toed high heels showing off my girly legs and pink toes, while a tall strong guy lifts me up off the ground, one arm under my back touching my boob, the other under my knees, I feel his tough hard biceps and forearms on my soft smooth legs as I wrap my smooth squishy arms around his big muscular shoulders and neck kissing him on his scruffy cheek, getting pink lip gloss on his face as my eye lashes tickle his cheek. I would feel so safe knowing he would be protecting me in his big strong arms, like boughs of sturdy English oak, smelling of manly cologne and musk. All I need is a guy to pick me up, I have the outfit already to go. I fantasize about that so much. That's why it's mandatory I date men 5'8" and taller preferably in uniform. That to me is like sex.

I lived as a gay man and physically I did look super manly but I was always very "delicate" (that's a word I got a lot) in my behavior; I tried repressing my femininity as much as I could, but it would still shine through so I was a feminine man. Yet ironically, when I started transitioning I realized I wasn't feminine enough, I guess all of the repression I tried for years was actually working.

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on January 22, 2019, 01:15:17 PM
I lived as a gay man and physically I did look super manly but I was always very "delicate" (that's a word I got a lot) in my behavior; I tried repressing my femininity as much as I could, but it would still shine through so I was a feminine man. Yet ironically, when I started transitioning I realized I wasn't feminine enough, I guess all of the repression I tried for years was actually working.

Wow, I was told I'm a "delicate flower" at an interview once... I definitely can relate... I think people like to push buttons. Except we're in control of the button, so to speak...

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Quote from: Lexi Nexi on November 11, 2018, 07:20:08 AM
I wish I knew how to make a poll on this forum but can't find that option.

I wish I was the feminine gay type before I transitioned I would think this would be a lot easier. I wasn't overly masculine but the feminine traits I have I hid very well. I still find myself hiding them, then unhiding them. But somethings have to be relearned. I know it shouldn't matter but it does matter to me. Maybe that will change as I'm not obsessed with being passible like I used to.

I like numbers so I am curious how many trans people started out as the type of person where people said "you look or act like a girl" or "you would make a very good girl". The stereotypical feminine gay guy I'm wondering. For me it can still be  a struggle because I'm not the touchy feely type, I realize that neither are many cis women, but it would help me play the part better. So much of how you are perceived is though actions and mannerisms. I just don't like being "in the middle".

I've always been fem both physically and in the way I act. I tried to be more masculine for a while but it was a bad fit...

Straight down the middle.  Neither macho nor fem.  Just neutral.

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Depended on the audience. South Side Chicago Regular Guy when it suited me, Doting Daddy with my little girls, Androgynous Ad Agency Type when it helped me fit in. Each requires its own body language, gestures, walk, vocabulary, diction, accent, and vocal rhythms. I'm a natural chameleon.

Actually asserting myself in transition is going to be a real change.

I was a late blooming male that wished she could keep his "baby face". Grew to be way to tall and with broad shoulders. Always masculine that wished she could be female. In fact several girlfriends said my inner soul was girl!

Hi Erica, welcome to the forum. 

For me, I knew I was somehow different. I was never the feminine gay type, but I was never Mr. Macho either.  On some occasions someone might have told me that something I did or said was girlie, but I was considered a straight cisgender male, although I did have a few bullies in my childhood who questioned my sexuality.  Little did I know that I have never beeen straight nor cisgender.  My transition is still not complete.  I'm not out full time yet, so I still present as a straight cisgender male.  In truth, however, I know that I am not a straight cis-male - I am a bisexual trans female.


Danielle

I was femme as could be very early in life...  My step father tried to beat it out of me for eight years and the result was a very angry kid who buried everything every time it would bubble to the surface.  Which it did often.  Back and forth it went.  Femme -> Angry Guy -> Femme -> Angry Guy

I finally broke too bad to fix and repressed everything in favor of trying to be "Normal".  Had myself well fooled for twenty years.  I wasn't really "Manly" during that time.  More like a robot.  Then...  It all came back.

Now it is impossible to hide so I don't.  Femme as could be all the time (By manner of speech and body language); Even though I'm stalled pre-virtually everything till I can figure out what is going to happen with my family.