Quote from: ClaireBlooming on January 11, 2024, 09:21:09 AMSo many thoughful answers.  You all have reached a level of acceptance I can only dream about.  So far.  I just pray I get there someday.

Hugs,

Claire

So many realities start as dreams, Claire. I do hope you get to realize your dreams.

Hi ClaireBlooming

You said

Quote from: ClaireBlooming on January 11, 2024, 09:21:09 AMSo many thoughful answers.  You all have reached a level of acceptance I can only dream about.  So far.  I just pray I get there someday.

Hugs,

Claire

Claire, I wish you find all the peace that you are looking for.

Kindest regards
Sarah B

You and I, we have to be who we are.  It's not healthy to stay with a partner who can't, won't understand.  So, most of us find a middle ground and chill out.

Life is too short either way.

I only came to fully understand about my condition, when I was in my 50's and then it was only from a place called 'Susan's Place', a long time after my surgery.

Susan's Place is a place where one can learn and grow.

Kindest regards to one and all
Sarah B

Quote from: Gina P on January 11, 2024, 05:39:51 AMI defiantly wish I was not trans. I wish I had been born female. I love being female and really never found happiness as a male. As trans, perhaps I'm not a CIS woman but the longing and desires nor longer taunt me day and night. I don't have to hide who and what I am since coming out. I like the changes HRT has brought. I like the person I see in the mirror. I like not hiding anymore and the peace that came along with it. Being trans has been a huge source of pain most of my life, but excepting that is what I am and living my life as a woman has brought me great peace and joy.

I love, love, love this answer!  I hadn't thought of taking the question beyond the inference of "did you wish you could be happy as male."  At least that's what I read into the question.  Most of us get used to the idea of perpetual conflict, of all and sundry insisting that we are mentally unbalanced, or worse!  We tend to gird for battle or for tears.  I love the feeling of DEFIANTLY.

If others are unaccepting, it's on them.  We don't have the responsibility to settle our lives into their expectations.  I wish them the peace you and I found.
Thank you!

I am a lot happier after having transitioned.

However, don't take that the wrong way: It's not that I'm not happier than I was before (transition was a MUST, and there is absolutely no going back for me, transition is not the problem... Being trans to begin with is the problem). I hate being trans altogether. I always have. I just want to have been born the right sex to begin with. There shouldn't have ever have had to be a "transition", and even still that transition can never completely fill the void. To never be able to birth a child, it tears me apart in such a deep, hard to express manner.

I can only fix what I have the ability to. I am much happier than I have ever been in my entire life, but there is still deep grieving to overcome of what has been lost.

It sucks related to society, too. At this moment, I live in a deep red state and the government wants to take away what happiness I have been able to make. I am having to leave the state, my home since childhood, all of my friends, and a lot of family members. Another grief, but one that isn't necessary. There is no need for this cruelty, but alas humanity never learns. We repeat this cycle of cruelty over and over again. I can't understand. SMDH.

I wish I was born female.  But as I was not, no, I do not wish that I am not transgender.


Chrissy

always...my journey with trans-ness is not a pleasant one......i wish i wasnt like dis but my feelings tell another story...i actively indulge myself in my internalized transphobic thoughts bc i wrongfully believe it will bring me closer 2 da "normality" of being cis... i am terrible. i have become a more hateful person since my revelation. not only towards ppl in my own community...i often find myself directing anger towards those who were blessed w cis-ness...i am angry bc y shld u b lucky nd not me as well?

i cant stand being transgender...it is isolating nd i feel ashamed. as another user said in reply 2 dis comment, i am an unwilling participant in dis experience

For as long as I remember, I have felt this way, so it's hard to imagine not being trans. No, I don't wish that I wasn't trans. I do wish others were more accepting of transgender people.

I'm kind of on the fence about being trans. On one hand I am kind of easy to manipulate, so I would likely have been burdened with kids. So in one way I am kind of glad that I wasn't born a woman but in so many other ways I wish I was born a girl.

I in no way wish that I was happy being male I hate everything about being male.

Quote from: Athena on July 01, 2024, 07:39:41 AMI in no way wish that I was happy being male I hate everything about being male.

I am with you on this 100%.

Do I wish I wasn't trans? Yes... and no.

Yes because of the effect it has on people around me. No because the journey I've been on in discovering myself has allowed me to understand who I am, why I am here, and allowed me to meet and be a part of the lives of, some of the most incredible people in the world.

Speaking personally, being trans has brought nothing but pain. Sometimes literally. Spending a year in hospital because of the hatred some people have towards trans people... my flesh and blood being the worst towards these offenders... it has literally wrecked all hope of getting to where a good many people here are able to get to. It has led to very lucky circumstances allowing me to even post this... but personally... being trans for me has been a Damocles sword, as far as transition is concerned. One which has fallen with quite unpleasant results.

But I would not give that up for anything. The thing is... we live our lives on the shoulders of giants. Everything we do and aspire to is based on people who come before. People who push through it all to be who they want to be. I cannot be, or hope to be someone who speaks on behalf of trans women. I am some crippled wannabe hanging on the coat-tails of greatness. But I will always be a cheerleader for anyone who stands up and says "This is who I am, this is who I want to be, and you have no right to put me down."

So many amazing and insightful answers. I also struggle with this. My conditioned male identity - the one I presented to the world squirms at times. If I truly relax and look at things clearly - I wish I had been born female. If there was some way to 'switch off' the Transgender core of me would I do it? No, it would be tearing my soul out. 

All the time... and being born either sex without being TS would have been OK.

I would be a different person, but of course I would have been that if I had been born into a different situation even if not trans (I was born into very difficult family situation that had nothing to do with being TS).

Maybe if I had both transitioned young and been able to blend better, i would feel differently, but too much of my life has been and remains complicated because of it and I'm coming up to the last chapter.

That said, given everything, being who I am and when I was born, I don't think I could have done or do much significantly differently.

- Karen

I am not trans. I went through a transition of gender - but I do not classify myself as 'trans'. Why should I, I live the life of a woman not a transwoman?

I also don't have regrets. Everything that happened to me in my past, is what makes who I am now. I am always a positive person, I 'make the best' of things, and so, how is there anything to regret? If I made mistakes, that is only known due to hindsight. Hindsight and rueing the path not chosen is about as effective as clearing out ear wax.. and less satisfying. SO, don't do it.

I believe we each are here to carve out our own stories. To deal with our own challenges. Some people would put that in a religious context, some (like me) gamify it. Life is a complex Xbox game, you make the best choices you can and deal with the consequences. Sometimes you get a 'free life' and continue - other times you have to go back to a recent save game and try again. In this journey of life, the last thing you do is reach your destination. So, keep on trucking.

Quote from: SoupSarah on July 27, 2024, 12:14:33 PMIn this journey of life, the last thing you do is reach your destination.

Enjoy the journey because no one gets out alive. 

I do not wish I was not trans. I wish being trans was not an issue and e get help when young.

Most people do not seem to care, unless it is someone who is not a stranger.
But some do not like us solely because we are transgender.

Quote from: SoupSarah on July 27, 2024, 12:14:33 PMI am not trans. I went through a transition of gender - but I do not classify myself as 'trans'. Why should I, I live the life of a woman not a transwoman?

I find this somewhat curious. Most people I've known who come here with that view tend to leave once they've gotten the information they need to get to where they want to be. Never to darken these doors again. But you haven't. And you often champion trans folks when it comes to different ideas or philosophies.

I'm not sure it's an either/or scenario.

Quote from: Sephirah on July 27, 2024, 05:48:11 PMI find this somewhat curious. Most people I've known who come here with that view tend to leave once they've gotten the information they need to get to where they want to be. Never to darken these doors again. But you haven't. And you often champion trans folks when it comes to different ideas or philosophies.

I'm not sure it's an either/or scenario.

LOL - and WUT?..  Are you politely asking me to leave?.

I am an advocate.. its a type of empath, its an INFJ personality in the Briggs-Myers scheme of personality types. I champion what is right and fight for justice for everyone. The misinformation about transsexual people is criminal and needs people to educate the populace.

Personally, I had gender surgery the day I was born. More when I was 3 years old. This surgery and nurture, raised me male. My genetics and biology are intersex, true hermaphrodite. by biology does not indicate a clear gender. If anything I detransitioned to female? SO.. I am not transsexual. I don't identify as such. I identify as female, as a woman.. but I will stand beside anyone who does identify as trans and fight tooth and nail for their right to exist and live a normal and productive life..

I will get my coat!.