Yay!  🎊🎉

Robin, congrats on your first time out as your authentic self, and for walking through the fear to get to your first support meeting.

XOXO 💓

~ Lilis 🌷

Quote from: Robbyv213 on July 13, 2025, 01:50:06 PMI know this is just a brief moment but I think it's still something we both needed and why not enjoy while we have it.

Absolutely! As you've said recently, now is all we have, so make the most of it!

Called the wig shop for an update. Unfortunately they have been busy and have not yet had time to call the VA rep and see why the payment was not going through.
She did however seem pretty sure that the rep they typically go to for helping with payments that are being denied usually comes through for them and gets the payment to go through. So fingers crossed. We have to wait and see.

Prosthetics (wigs, breast forms, binders, gaffs, packers, etc.) were among the things that were no longer covered since they revoked the VA Directive. I am hoping your approved consult pre-dates that and will get covered, as I have a similar issue with covering electrolysis. I had three approved consults going back five years. I am still trying to find out if we are grandfathered, but from what I have heard, they cancelled all of that. I wasn't even allowed my last appointment for voice training due to coverage being cancelled.

I hope you get lucky.

Me too @Lori Dee

We shall see.

I'm feeling stuck. Not sure how else to say it. Stagnant in life in general. I work a 8-5 job at a Mercedes dealership working on cars in the shop. Not what I had pictured my life to be. It was a passion at one point and now it's not. I hate my job but love the people I work with. So far anyways. I'm not sure how they would act when I am socially out. It's just a job that I use to pay the bills. I don't even use them for insurance since its too expensive. And I'm not sure if I will or would be willing to stay there once I come out socially...


I just feel like I'm stuck in many aspects of my life waiting for x y or Z to happen in order to implement plan a b or c. Of that makes sense. I finally feel like happy with where I want to go in terms of transitioning and the woman I want to become. But everything else in my life is on pause waiting for what transition may bring and then reacting to it.

Like I feel proactive in my transition doing everything I can to provide the best possible foundation to build off of from doing the daily/weekly/monthly things such as diet and nutrition, exercise, staying on top of medication, growing my hair out, getting or trying to get a hair care routine, skin care routine, just over all better hygiene routine, therapy sessions, laser sessions, support group meeting (hopefully a once a month thing), doing research and trying to network. It's all baby steps in the right direction for hurry up and wait just like the military right lol.

So I feel proactive in that way, but the rest of my life feels like it's reactionary waiting for when I have to come out, or when I may have to switch jobs, or when my marriage may end. Etc. I definitely don't want to cause a financial burden on my wife by taking a different job that pays less than I make now but may have better insurance that covers more gender affirming stuff. But I feel like any day now I'm going to say screw it and quit my job as a technician. I don't mind working on my own cars, but it gets old working on other people's cars especially when you see a fraction of what the customer pays for what ever work they're having done.

I just feel stuck in just about all aspects of my life besides transition. And it's been that way for awhile. Living job to job, pay check to pay check. Never really being able to save up or plan for a future. Never really living life, just surviving and getting by on stuff that's ok but def not a passion or not anything that sets my heart and soul on fire.

Finally dressing and going out in public to the support meeting last Saturday, that set my heart and soul on fire, nothing else in my life does.

I'm trying to be patient. I know this is a marathon. It's a long term game. I get it, but like I said I just feel stagnant. I feel like I'm just existing. Being reactive and going with the flow, vs being proactive and being the captain of my shop and steering it where I want it to go if that makes sense. And all the while doing the routine maintenance and chores you have to do to keep your vessel sea worthy. Sorry not sure how that turned into nautical symbolism. Lol

Anyways that's where I am at right now in how I am feeling.

I finally showed my wife the pictures I took of myself on Saturday, getting ready the outfits, driving being a jeep girl,.some selfies at the support group (don't worry they are just of me so I don't out anyone else), and trying on wigs later in the day. She didn't say much other than I looked like my daughter. And she liked the wig that I picked out. So that's good. I feel like I'm finally able to start talking and sharing more things about stuff that excites me in terms of transitioning and or just girl stuff. So far it seems like she is ok, but I am trying not to overwhelm her either.

Ok well got to get ready for work. Just felt like I needed to get this out and in my blog/diary.

Thanks for sharing, Robby.

Sometimes, it helps to write out what you're feeling. Danielle does journaling, and Davina uses her diary to "unclutter" her brain. I find it helpful as a record of what I went through on my journey. When you write it out, you have to focus on the topic and organize those thoughts so that you can write them. That is helpful in starting to figure out where the problem lies and what solutions may be possible.

When I had my hypnotherapy practice, I would ask my clients "The Magic Question" as a tool to help them figure things out. The Magic Question is:

If I could snap my fingers and your problems were instantly solved, how would that change your life?

The immediate thought is "I would be so happy!" But such changes impact other things. So you need to think about what your life would look like.

Where would you be living?
Where would you work? And what would you do?
How are family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers affected by this change?
What would your social life look like? Would it change? In what way?
What about hobbies or other interests? Which would you keep, and what new ones would you start?

As you think about these things, other questions/scenarios may present themselves. But once you have a clear image of what your life would be like, then you are prepared to make plans to achieve it. If finances hold you back, think of ways to earn on the side. If location is the problem, plan a way to move to a new location. If employment is a problem, start looking at what might be available.

It is perfectly normal to feel stuck. I have been there many times. But when I feel that way, I use that as motivation to make changes (or at least plan them out). Go back to the beginning of your blog and read how you felt back then. Compare that to how you feel now while out, like at support group meetings. The small changes you made back then have had a big impact on where you are now.

You got this. 

Thanks @Lori Dee I will give all of this some thought. But my initial reaction to most of those are situational dependant and again waiting for something to happen or play out in one part of my life to react and then changes happen in other parts.

Quote from: Robbyv213 on Today at 12:18:28 PMThanks @Lori Dee I will give all of this some thought. But my initial reaction to most of those are situational dependant and again waiting for something to happen or play out in one part of my life to react and then changes happen in other parts.

I understand. My point was that you are being proactive in your transition, and the changes are positive. Translate that into other areas of your life. Be proactive instead of reactive.