I said today that I simply needed to be who I am, a decent woman who simply wants to live her life as a person who is kind, unselfish, caring, and respectable.  I dress modestly, am a good citizen, and try to be understanding of people who are not understanding and grateful for those who are, and even more so to those with a kind heart.  That I may not be accepted by all but I have accepted myself.  I only want to blend in as a woman and be happy, and I am happy.  I can be joyful because of the Lord.

I want to be thought of as Christine and not Christine the transgender lady but some may think the latter.  There is nothing wrong with being transgender she said, and it is not something that appears to be chosen I told her.  It is something that takes some courage to work through.  I shared that I am much more at ease, have a lot less stress, and that gender dysphoria is quite the emotional wrecking ball so to speak. 

We talked for a little more than twenty minutes.  She has two that just now or will be starting college soon.  She was a nice person to talk with and I hope to run into her again at some point, and this was a refreshing experience. 


Chrissy

Hi Everyone

When the thread came back to life and upon rereading the thread.  I laughed at how I handled the list, though in a sense I could use some of the answers, if I were ever asked any of those questions.  Even though my very first reply said I could not answer them, because I have never told anyone about me.  Which still remains true to this day.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

Hi Lori

Lori you said,

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 06, 2025, 01:54:32 PMI tell them that people who do not experience gender dysphoria cannot fully understand it. They don't need to understand why, as long as they respect our decision that we need to.

As I have said in numerous posts I have never suffered any form of 'gender dysphoria' and yet I had surgery and I cannot relate to the 'gender dysphoria' that other members suffer from. I respect that others here do experience it and their perspectives even if I do not share them. Yet I'm not the only one who never suffered. One of my recent doctors said to me, "there are others like me."

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 06, 2025, 01:54:32 PMIn my experience, it is men who seem to struggle with it. I ask them, "What if every time you looked in the mirror, you saw a woman's reflection instead of your own?" Most agree that it would freak them out. I tell them, "Now you are beginning to understand why we feel we need to transition."

I agree. From what I have heard men often have a harder time understanding. If I were asked in a similar situation I would just say "I'm female and always have been."

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

These days I just tell people it is the clothes.  I can't buy men's clothes that fit me.  I've been to Brooks Brothers and have been told they can't sell me anything. Other men's stores as well. But,clothes aren't gendered.  Women's XS clothes fit me perfectly.  Even better, half the styles go on sale!  I have a wonderful time buying top quality clothes at discount prices!

I needed a collared polo with sun sleeve to play golf at a private club.  List price $97 at EPNY.  I bought four polos for $70!  The two I tried on fit perfectly.

As far as losing respect, short guys don't get any. It is almost like they don't want to sell clothes to older short guys. I get a lot more respect as an appropriately dressed woman. 

Marion

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 07, 2025, 04:19:28 AMThese days I just tell people it is the clothes.  I can't buy men's clothes that fit me. 

...

As far as losing respect, short guys don't get any. It is almost like they don't want to sell clothes to older short guys. I get a lot more respect as an appropriately dressed woman. 

Marion

That sounds more like a reason to cross-dress than a reason to transition. Your points are valid, and I have witnessed this in friends who are not as tall as I am. Transitioning is more than just clothing, but I agree that women's clothing fits better and is much more comfortable. The underlying reason is that it soothes my gender dysphoria.

I am not disagreeing with your reasoning, just expressing a different viewpoint. 

Hii,

I tell them that no one can fully understand it unless they've lived it, but if they're open to my perspective, I explain that I'm not becoming someone new. I'm uncovering who I've always been beneath layers of fear, survival, conditioning and performance.

As Sarah and Lori beautifully pointed out:

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 06, 2025, 01:54:32 PMI tell them that people who do not experience gender dysphoria cannot fully understand it.

QuoteThey don't need to understand why, as long as they respect our decision that we need to.

Quote from: Sarah B on August 06, 2025, 08:29:30 PMAs I have said in numerous posts I have never suffered any form of 'gender dysphoria' and yet I had surgery and I cannot relate to the 'gender dysphoria' that other members suffer from.

QuoteI respect that others here do experience it and their perspectives even if I do not share them. Yet I'm not the only one who never suffered. One of my recent doctors said to me, "there are others like me.

For me it's about healing, about being whole, and finally being happy. 


~ Lilis 🌷

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 07, 2025, 10:38:43 AMThat sounds more like a reason to cross-dress than a reason to transition. Your points are valid, and I have witnessed this in friends who are not as tall as I am. Transitioning is more than just clothing, but I agree that women's clothing fits better and is much more comfortable. The underlying reason is that it soothes my gender dysphoria.

I pass well enough that people may not be aware that I'm AMAB!  People see a thin hourglass figure and tightly fitting clothes and jump to conclusions.
Statistically, it is far more likely that a guy will cross dress than be shorter than 5ft 3in! 3% vs 0.5%  8% of women have an hourglass figure.
It provides a convenient starting point for talking about other issues, such as dating or shopping for clothes.

Marion

This not an issue I really have had.. Currently most people in my life, have no idea I was born a man, they only know the woman. Three people in my life know my past.. my mother, my best friend and my husband.

My mother, when I came out to her, she was shocked and blamed herself, and my father disowned me, and so did my mother.. but after my father passed. My mother and we reconciled (that was a long road) and now we share a special and very close mother daughter relationship.

my Best friend - she was cool with it and in my early days, she used me as a doll, she loved dressing me up

My husband, well he never knew me as guy, I was post-op already when we met, and make thing more complicated I slept with him on the first date (Suppose to be a one night stand).. He was freaked out but after an almost all night talk (it was really nice), he came to conclusion, I was all woman to him, I looked female, I could be female in a sexual relationship and he liked me, we clicked instantly). I could have not told him and got away with it, but I felt that relationship felt special and I wanted to start it off with the truth, i did not want him to find out like 2 years later, then people get hurt.

Everyone else does not know.. even my step siblings dont know, My mother met and married my step father after I was post op. I was lovely when my step father walked me down the isle and gave me away at my wedding. My kids also dont know, ok they are young, almost 6 and 3. I never intend to tell them

my other friends, dont know, my work colleagues dont know.. To the world, I am noleen Woman/mother/wife and that is how I want it to be.