This post probably isn't going to make me very popular around here. It's not intended to be 100% PC, be sensitive to the nuances of everyone's individual identities or even be anything more than a typed version of what's been whizzing around in my head on this topic since I first read it.
Maybe this whole ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- thing is different for FTMs v. MTFs.
For you post-op ladies, you're entirely right. Someone wanting you for your trans status is slightly odd, considering your bodies are 100% congruent with your gender identity and presentation. Sure, you might be taller or broader than you'd like thanks to missing out on female puberty when it generally occurs, but for argument's sake, you're physically female. Completely, totally and unmistakably. And your bottom surgeries are gorgeous! The few that I've seen are just plain impressive. Realistically, I'd find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that anyone would guess your genitals weren't natal. A ->-bleeped-<- wanting to date no one but post-op transwomen seems odd to me, simply for the fact that you are physically, emotionally and mentally female. In your case, no, there is no 'difference' between you and a biological female. I'm not talking socialization or other semantics- I'm strictly talking about bodies here.
For the pre-op gals, maybe it isn't repressed homosexuality in those who chase you. Maybe these people (typically men) are completely respecting of your female identity, could live without the 'dangly bits' and are just huge fans of anal sex? Because let's be honest, as much as I like to call what's in my pants right now a penis, it's a clitoris that's enlarged from hormone use. So if you're having penetrative sex it's not in your vagina, even if that's what you'd prefer to call it. So... what's wrong with some dude who's into women and anal sex finding some sort of Utopia in a transwoman? I can see how it could be construed as creepy, but it seems to me that'd be a case-by-case basis.
And from an FTM point of view, our bottom surgery sucks. Let's say I had $80k to spend on a phalloplasty. Let's also say that it (miraculously) came out looking like a biological penis, I had no problems with my urethral lengthening, got myself some testicular implants and a vaginectomy. In other words, the works. I'd still have to pump up my erection manually. And I'd still be missing something extremely obvious- ejaculation. So as much as we'd like to think we can sexually function as 100% male, we can't. I know my lady has slept with cisgendered men, but I don't find it constructive to ask if she'd *prefer* I had a fully functioning penis. And since there's no hope on the horizon for getting one, I am completely and totally cool dating a ->-bleeped-<-. Because really, we are physically different from biological men and probably will have no choice but to be for a while to come.
I hope that made sense. Oh, and to the moderators- I did my best to use words like 'vagina' and 'testicles' in this blog as casually as I'd speak of my big toe. I'd appreciate if the anatomical references not be censored or altered anyway as they're not being used as sexual language.
