I am looking forward to the day near the end of my transition when I have that moment where everything falls into place and I am overcome with joy and relief that I have finally found someone who completes me. Everything up until then seems worth it for that one moment and you live happily ever after.

This is a normal human desire but as transsexuals, doesn't this mean the world to us? To be seen..and loved...and desired for who we truly are is the coup de grace to our identity issues, right?

Does your ideal moment differ from mine? 

If you've had that moment, was it any different than this? Was it different than what you expected? Did it make you feel any different about your past and did the feeling carry with you for the rest of your life?

I would worry about the need in that realization for 'the one' to somehow appear and make you whole.  My dreams to be realized took a lot of people, and part of that dream was exactly working with those people at that moment, still, it could have been other people, it didn't depend on 'that certain someone' to make it real.  What it really depended on was me being in that moment at that time. 

I mean really, they are all the moments in your life.  I think the key is to realize it within yourself. It's about paying attention to the detail of your life,  more that its about any other person being there with you to do it.

I agree and disagree. 

You will miss out on these treasures life has to offer if you are not living in the moment but, it takes the discovery of a deep love or soulmate to complete yourself.

Without others, how do we know who we are?

I'm a hopeless romantic, obviously.

I've had 'the moment' many times in my life, its just been with an ever changing cast of people I guess.

That's fine. It's just not for me.

I personally get more out of long-lasting relationships.

A girl can dream, can't she?

Oh sure, I dream even sometimes, but the real moments were things I never dreamed of that just happened.  just saying

Care to elaborate about those moments and how they were different than your expectations?

I am jealous you have had multiple moments.

Well there are different moments to your life, because there are different parts of your life.  Having kids is one, but so is graduating college.  For others great moments at play, or at work, or at creative leisure (whatever that is).  Spiritual moments are different from family moments which are different from those great natural moments when you are in awe of nature.

My ideal fantasy moment comes when I am embraced by my soulmate and am rendered speechless, turn to putty, and release my heart from it's cage to have it flood all over me and my one love.

Wow, sounds like one hell of an orgasm now that I think about it!

If I build it, it will come. 

Quote from: Kristen on December 08, 2008, 03:23:28 PM
I am looking forward to the day near the end of my transition when I have that moment where everything falls into place and I am overcome with joy and relief that I have finally found someone who completes me. Everything up until then seems worth it for that one moment and you live happily ever after.

This is a normal human desire but as transsexuals, doesn't this mean the world to us? To be seen..and loved...and desired for who we truly are is the coup de grace to our identity issues, right?

Does your ideal moment differ from mine? 

If you've had that moment, was it any different than this? Was it different than what you expected? Did it make you feel any different about your past and did the feeling carry with you for the rest of your life?

Hi Kristen. Lovely thoughts here but I agree with Tekla that it is worrisome this need for 'the one' to come in and make you whole and happy.
I have had that moment. I had that moment for over 7 years and then my 'one' was taken from me in the blink of an eye.
Love is precious but not necessary. I'm doing okay without it.
You've got to be complete without 'the one'. 'The one' should just be icing on the cake of your life.
Just something to remember, hon.

Just this morning I had a minute where everything just -clicked- into place and for that 60seconds, I honestly felt like I was a "real" guy. Of course that stopped as soon as I noticed, but hell it felt good. Hoping I get more of that further into transition.

I think perhaps you might want to ask yourself what you will do after 'the moment' happens for you.
If you put too much emphasis on this being the pinnacle of achievement in your life, everything after that will be rather dull.
It's always good to have at least one unobtainable goal. Keeps us alive and kicking.

Oh, I agree with you both and I am sorry for your loss Nero. Working on yourself is the most important thing and can also be very beneficial if and when you find that special someone.

I wouldn't say I am relying on someone to bring me ultimate happiness. My faith in others is really not that strong but, I do feel that this kind of love is more important for me than you may wish for. To me, the icing MAKES the cake what it is.

I appreciate what you are both trying to do (protect me from being crushed when things don't work out the way I want them to) but, I will never stop the dream or give up hope entirely. (A similar mind frame is what helps many of us through transition)

As well, I will not make the mistake of putting all my eggs into the soulmate basket and will always put myself and well-being before anything else.

I dare others to dream and then tell me about it here, please.

Quote from: Vexing on December 08, 2008, 06:52:56 PM
It's always good to have at least one unobtainable goal. Keeps us alive and kicking.

How about sex in outer space?

Not likely in my lifetime. 

Quote from: Kristen on December 08, 2008, 06:58:12 PM

How about sex in outer space?

Not likely in my lifetime. 

Oh c'mon. I'm sure you have more imagination than that! 

Quote from: Vexing on December 08, 2008, 06:52:56 PM
I think perhaps you might want to ask yourself what you will do after 'the moment' happens for you.
If you put too much emphasis on this being the pinnacle of achievement in your life, everything after that will be rather dull.

After, I will sigh with relief and joy, sleep like a baby, and wake up feeling loved. I will want to feel that way for the rest of my life.

As far as achievements go, it is rather minute, comparatively, but none the less desired than say kids or graduating college or retirement. I see it as enriching my life more than numbing me to anything that happens post moment.

Quote from: Vexing on December 08, 2008, 07:03:14 PM

Quote from: Kristen on December 08, 2008, 06:58:12 PM

How about sex in outer space?

Not likely in my lifetime. 

Oh c'mon. I'm sure you have more imagination than that! 

I set little, obtainable goals so that I can feel some sense of achievement periodically as opposed to rarely in my lifetime.

Quote from: Kristen on December 08, 2008, 07:09:01 PM
After, I will sigh with relief and joy, sleep like a baby, and wake up feeling loved. I will want to feel that way for the rest of my life.

Which was exactly my point.
You won't feel that way for the rest of your life. Everything fades; nothing is constant except entropy. I'm genuinely concerned that your fantasy won't live up to harsh reality and when that happens, you won't cope very well.
I've seen it many times.

Actually, with space technology, that goal seems too realistic.  Perhaps having sex in space while jumping on a pogo stick and juggling and solving complex mathematical equations without a pencil and paper and writing the Great American novel would be a better goal.

Personally, I think another person would make it more difficult to know myself in some ways.  Now I would be fine, but when discovering myself it would have clouded my judgement immensely.  However, I am a rather introverted, solitary soul, so that is me.  Even when I planned on the whole marriage/eternal soulmate thing (it might still happen, it's too soon to tell, but probably not), I realized my moments (definately plural, my friend; there are many moments that feel like "I've got it!"  Then another one happens a few months from them, and everything keeps building and you know yourself better and better and you're a better person and it's absolutely fabulous!  At least this is how it should happen.) would mostly come alone.
Adrian

Quote from: Vexing on December 08, 2008, 07:15:11 PM

Quote from: Kristen on December 08, 2008, 07:09:01 PM
After, I will sigh with relief and joy, sleep like a baby, and wake up feeling loved. I will want to feel that way for the rest of my life.

Which was exactly my point.
You won't feel that way for the rest of your life. Everything fades...

Oh, I dunno...

I've fallen more in love every day now for two decades. The beauty of her mystery just gets deeper and deeper and renews itself every day. Twenty years of the same person, 24/7 every single day, and I still cry as I'm typing this because it just hurts so much, in a good/bittersweet way though...

~Kate~