I'd say anyone who begins transition is indeed transgender, unless they have some very severe mental disorder that is making them do it for some complicated reason (like schizophrenia). But that doesn't make them transsexual. So I sort of agree. But more important, I don't think that "transsexual" is a completely binary category -- you can have a milder or more severe case, so to speak, and social circumstances confuse everything even more -- basically, because I don't really think that anything in nature is a binary category.
As a transgender support group, I thing it doesn't make the slightest sense not to support transgender people who are trying to deal with their gender role, whether that involves transitioning, detransitioning, or never transitioning in the first place.
I thought you made perfect sense, Starbuck. Though we have differing views, they lead us to the same conclusion in this case.
The reason I think a lot of people are disappointed by people who don't transition is that they find security in their identity through shared experience, so detransition can feel like a betrayal. I suspect that you don't feel that sense of betrayal (however misdirected) because you are more confident in your identity. For me it's different. I don't feel it because in detransition, I just see someone dealing with a troubled gender role in the best way they can, so I still feel connected. Of course, to the extent that that's all true, it's a simplicication, I know.
Anyway, my best wished for you, Angie, whatever you decide.
~Alyssa
