Hi sis Jannet
I quite agree with Janet and Leiandra. I really can't understand the hostility either. All that accomplishes is either getting a thread locked or someone getting banned or both.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and interpretation for any given subject mater and it is normal human nature for each to have a different interpretation or conception of that very same topic, "No, I tell ya, the dress was red!" "No, your wrong, it was slacks and they were blue!" We can learn more just keeping what resonates with us and leaving what doesn't. Even the stuff that doesn't resonate you would be surprised how it could make sense when someone else comes along with another piece to add to the puzzle.
Anyway this my second take on this topic. I don't even remember what I wrote before except that it was in response to Tinks.
Briefly, I began transition in a small town and surprisingly all went well, I believe I owe that to the type of personality I have, I am a bit of a mousy person and kind of timid for the most part, always have been. But even being timid didn't mean that I don't love being around people, and I love humor. I'm a people person and I make friends easily. After two years I was well accepted by the town folks and no one gave me a hard time.
But here is the clincher, even after living there for 7 years and all treated me well, I knew that all knew my past history. So when the opportunity came for me to move, I moved to the opposite side of the contenent. Not a soul knows me here on the west coast except as the person I present, the woman that I am. I still have the same personality as the one who left the East coast behind.
I have just as many fiends now as I did in that other town and not a soul knows my past history and it stays that way. I have my beloved and what else could anyone want out of life, Well, maybe win the lottery.
Wanting and having the need to live my life as who I have transitioned to be, as a woman, I believe this is why most of us go (stealth) to start with. The need to leave our trans history behind us because we are no longer trans. Just women with a trans history that is not anybody's business, anymore then if you were born with three legs and an extra head. Do we not pay our dues enough to deserve that?
Like leaving family and friends behind, leaving everything you were ever familiar with and loved behind to start a new life somewhere else hoping to never again run into anyone we know. Starting again among a city full of strangers, that is enough to give you the willies.
So we then proceed to do what comes naturally to to us, just like any other GG. We date males, in some cases females. We fall in love and get in to a partnership or get married, whatever the case may be again. And why not? That is what we are, women, psychologically and physically, same likes and dislikes, needing a male, again in some cases, female partner.
In the case of the woman who marries a man, normal thing for a woman to do isn't it? but she neglects to tell him about the three legs and the extra head she was born with, heck that would probably go over better then telling them you have a history of transsexaulity.
Once you have established your new life with your new marriage partner, you get on our knees and fervently pray no one from the past comes along to "out you". Then when someone does, all hell breaks loos and sometimes at the cost of someones life.
My take on this is that the smartest thing to do is I would tell my future partner, and if he wishes to continue the relationship, then at least rest be assured you know you have a good solid relationship.
Anybody else outside of your spouse is yours and his choice to make if anyone else outside the house needs to know. My choice is the same as my beloved has chosen, No one needs to know except our Dr.
Cindy
