Granted... You perform in the nude with Vexing and I Doing a rendition of Jimmy Hendrix's "Voodoo Child" But for some reason you sing Elvis's "Love me Tender" and the crowd goes wild 

I wish it wasn't so hard to figure dress sizes

Granted, but all you are allowed to wear is a pair of shoes and a mouse-ka-teers cap, allowing you to place the ears anywhere you like! 

I wish I could find my soul mate...

Granted....You find your soul mate. But they drink beer and fart all day

I wish I could get my ears pierced

Granted... however the piercing tech uses a rivet gun. Not only are your earrings quite odd, their also permanant.

I wish that the shaving that I am but todo was a permanant hair removal solution.

Granted, but you forget and unthinkingly shave your head.

I wish I had shoes, pants, and mask to match my jacket for prom.

Granted.... You go dressed as a Ninja and don't understand why everyone keeps running away

I wish my dog could groom himself so I wouldn't have to

Granted, the dog can groom himself, but you can't! So you have to try and get the dog to groom you. Let me know how that goes...

I wish I couldn't get sick.

Granted, so you lose any sick leave and vacation time from work since you never need to take time off...

I wish I didnt have to face the dentist tonite for a tooth thats bothering me... 

Granted....The dentist wears a "Jason" hockey mask and makes you wear sleeping blinds

I wish I could build a larger enclosure for my Iguana

Granted, you buy it a bigger cage, but it ends up being larger than your house, and you have nowhere to put it, and you can't sell it.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

Granted... dinner is served, in the form of an Asian elephant and you cannot leave the table until every last morsel is consumed. You should be grateful that I said Asian elephant, their smaller than their African cousins.

I wish I had some lamb vindeloo togo along with my jasmine rice...

Granted, but the place you order the "Vin de loo" from thinks you refer to wine made in a toilet,,,
vin de loo anyone?

I wish I had tended to my motorcylce properly before storing it.

Granted, but when you go to take it out of storage you discover that by tending to it properly, someone saw fit to take it from you.

I hope my cat is ok, she's been puking all morning and I don't know why...

Granted your cat is fine however now it wont leave you alone ^_^

I wish i had my license

Granted but they refuse to put the correct gender marker on it.

I wish I didn't feel like a fat cow.

Granted.  You feel like a fat whale.

I wish I didn't have to write an English paper.

Granted, you have to write 2 English papers!

I wish I had a glue stick!

Quote from: phantom_heart on May 13, 2009, 02:20:55 PM
Granted your cat is fine however now it wont leave you alone ^_^

That's ok, she loves attention so I don't have a problem with that!


Granted...you have a glue stick, but you end up gluing yourself...to yourself [2+ points if you get the reference]

I wish Terminator: Salvation would come out tomorrow!!

Granted...But you're cast in the movie. (Last Action Hero?)

I wish my ferret would use his litterbox.

Granted...But your ferret thinks the kitchen sink is the litter box 

I wish my Iguana knew what a litter box was