Picking a name felt like the weirdest thing to me.  I don't consider myself particularly imaginative, and was hoping my parents would just be like "Oh good, we'll call you XXXXXXX instead of [boy name]."  Except my parents haven't been too accepting, so they've never told me the name I would have gotten if I had been born a girl.  So scratch that one. 

I ended up using a baby name website with names ranked by popularity for the year I was born.  I don't remember the site I went to, but the Social Security website has one too, and that's probably more accurate than the site I used.  I just picked the girl's name that was equal in popularity with my boy's name that year. 

One of my main criteria was that I wanted something common.  Relatively common.  When you look around on the internet, all the suggestions about picking a name basically boil down to:
Something common and easy to spell will attract less attention than a rare one will.  This is useful if you're concerned about stealth. 

My other criteria: it could not be the name of an ex- or the name of a close relative.  Luckily, I don't know anyone named Jessica (except for me), but it seems like everyone I know has several of us as acquaintances. 

I'm leaving my last name alone.  I tried (and succeeded) at keeping my initials intact.  We use initial/date very frequently at work, so I thought it would be good to keep that from changing.  I also didn't really want to completely re-learn how to sign my name. 

It wasn't as random as flipping a coin, but kind of close.  I tried just to let the decisions make themselves and not worry about it. 
I have no idea whether any of that will work for you, Nero, but there it is anyway, just in case. 

In keeping with what Jessica just said, I kept my initials, chose an approximate male version of my female name, that fit with the decade I was born in.  I think people would look at me funny if I decided to go by something like Jayden!


Jay

Quote from: Alyssa M. on June 08, 2009, 07:10:25 PM
If you just pick one, especially a fairly common one that you like, and use it with confidence (even feigned confidence), you'll find soon enough that it suits you.

That's how it went for me. I agonised over it for ages, spent a lot of time browsing name archives and asked all my friends for ideas but nothing felt right. Finally my friends gave me an ultimatum to choose  a name by the end 7th of January so they could start using it (not sure what the threat was if I didn't comply, never got to that). I was minding a dog named Sally at the time, I had joked that she was a whiny b1tch so I should be named after her and they agreed 

Anyways it felt right as soon as I made the announcement and once people started using it I wondered why I didn't think of it earlier.

It does sound hard, coming up with a name for yourself.

I changed mine a couple of times when I first came out, but many of my friends then kept saying that Janet fit me.

And like many have said you will always be Nero regardless of what you decide on.  Nero, my Hero. 

Janet

Being totally boring.  I kept the surname and gee even the first name and just put a vagina on the middle name and away I went.  Like I said Boring.  But it fits me.  But to each their own as it were.

Gee I can see a name that "Nero" Contest starting on Susans, Ha!.

So what name Fit's Nero.......That's the question.  Something studly, but with a flair. 

Beni

Quote from: Imadique on June 10, 2009, 09:12:59 AMI was minding a dog named Sally at the time, I had joked that she was a whiny b1tch so I should be named after her and they agreed 

Kind of like what one famous Hollywood character did:

Quote from: Henry Jones, Junior, a.k.a. 'Indiana' JonesI've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.

Well... be glad you CAN change your name. I've been Sebastien Dean for over 2 years now, but only on my state ID... I still don't have the money to have it changed legally.

Yes, it seems strange to change your name. Heck, I went by Rafe for awhile, but it never felt like me, so I changed it to what it currently is, but in the past 2+ years I've gone by Sebastien, Bas, Dean, Dino... and who knows what I'll go by next. But Sebastien definitely feels like me now. This is all funny, though, because my mom told me she hates my name, and wants me to change it, so now I'm considering yet another change... though if she comes up with a good alternative I'll probably only add it on.

Good luck, man. As per the last name, I'm sure you recall I have a similar problem... but after thinking for awhile about changing my last name, I realized I'd had it for 24 years, and I kinda liked it, regardless of how often it's mispronounced. It makes me unique. And I'm sure yours makes you unique, too.

SD

Good timing on this thread - I'm having trouble with the name thing too - and it's a bit hard to get by without one!

I'm stuck between 2 choices so I'm thinking of leaving it up to my magic 8 ball. If it doesn't work out I can always say "hey, blame my 8 balls!"  .

But seriously folks, I don't think anyone really feels at home with a new name for some time. It takes time to adapt. Give it time, try a few, run them past friends and family, say it out loud, sign it on a blank bit of paper again and again... and don't think it's the end of the world if nothing fits - a name is just a name. The right one will come to you eventually.

I kept my family name and morphed my first name.  The screen name I used to use was given to me by my stylist in that infamous Halloween of 2003.

Does your birth name morph easily into a masculine version?

Does your birth name morph easily into a potential last name?

Whatever name you are thinking of, say it outloud a hundred times before deciding on it.  If you still like the sound of it by the time you are done, run with it!

Shauna

It took me FOREVER to pick a name. I think that whatever you pick is going to sound weird for awhile. It took me a couple months to internalize my name. Someone would say Jude, and it would take me a few seconds to realize that they were talking about me. I think you just have to get used to it.

You can always ask your parents to name you (if it's possible)

i feel for you Nero!! i really do. but my advice since you live in here in the oh so FABULOUS state of Ohio with me, my advice is definitely do it all at once since i'm guessing you've already had surgery(?) there will be less questions later, not that there should be any to begin with, but i know there will q's everywhere when i finally have the funds to change my name because i really have no idea when, if ever,  i will be able to have surgery to change one stupid letter because of their and ssa's 9/11 policy--yeah that's what i'm going to call it.. cuz basically that's what it is. in my opinion, if i say i am female, and i have documentation from a therapist or doctor conferring with that belief then that is what is the truth. only 3 people at a time need to know what is under/in my skirt/pants--the doctor--if necessary, my partner, and myself---other than that it is no one else's business!!!

on the name issue, i was looking for not one but TWO names as my second son was baking in the oven...lol. so i was looking for me and looking for him as well, trying to name a child is very exhausting when you have certain personal criteria you want to fill. it's far worse when you try and name yourself and i had a serious list of items that i had to make sure i didn't run into when choosing my new name, i'm thinking about changing my last name too especially since i don't have any idea when i'll be able to get out of the wonderful job i'm in, but having a new name legally changed and recognized by them(which i doubt they will), and will hopefully be easier to obtain new employment.

this will take time, tons of it, make sure you look at foreign names even if you think they won't fit, i did for all my kids and myself, and in the end my kids all have pretty common "American" names anymore, but i did my best to change spellings or like my second son, i gave him TWO middle names, so if he doesn't like any of them, he can hyphenate, or go by something else. his great grandmother was pissed that i gave him two middles--Brittiney told her to back off basically this was our child to name, not hers. this is you that you are dealing with so finding a name may take time, but I will always know you as Nero. and i feel for you with the femme name, mine is totally masculine, but working wearing i do i've met some interesting people. I'd still like to know how it went when the guy went up to the court tell them he was marrying Ryan--bet that went over well till they found out Ryan was a woman--and yes i've met her..lol. girls with boy names are becoming ever more popular--Evan Rachel Wood, Jennifer Jason Leigh, there is a male U.S. senator named Lindsey, my ex's grandfather's(now deceased) gf, she has some male family member named Lindsey as well, and until i met them, i thought seriously they were a lesbian couple and i was like great, i can come out to her and it'll be not such a big deal, unfortunately i was wrong about them, but people just make assumptions about names and really shouldn't.

you'll find something that fits, when you do use it exclusively, i hope you at least have people who will respect you enough to use it. i found one and people refuse to use it, which i'm completely offended by.

good luck to Nero sir.

sorry so long

Picking a name is hard, It;s something really personal i think. I thought I had mine figured out until we had a conversation at home one day about names and wat other names my parents considered for me and my brothers and one of my bros asked wat we would have been called if any of us had been girls ( im completely closeted they dont know) and my mam said the 1st girl would have been called Sinead and all of a sudden I didnt know which name i liked better
My surmane I'll deffinetely keep despite it being so rare I'm closely related to a good 95 percent of them, coz it fits me i think and after 18 years spelling it out and answering questions about its origin is 2nd nature (I dont know where its from, but i may just look it up now).

Ironically no one spells either of my names (boy&surname) right despite my first name being the most popular for the year i was born and all others i know with the name spelling it the same as me and my surmane sounds like its spelled. Doubt that helped sorry kinda rambled a bit, oh well
Best of luck and watever u pick im sure it'll suit you (Nero would work IMO)

Claire xoxo

Quote from: The Only Warrior Princess Mekayla on June 20, 2009, 08:26:17 AM
I'd still like to know how it went when the guy went up to the court tell them he was marrying Ryan--bet that went over well till they found out Ryan was a woman--and yes i've met her..lol. girls with boy names are becoming ever more popular--Evan Rachel Wood, Jennifer Jason Leigh, there is a male U.S. senator named Lindsey, my ex's grandfather's(now deceased) gf, she has some male family member named Lindsey as well, and until i met them, i thought seriously they were a lesbian couple and i was like great, i can come out to her and it'll be not such a big deal, unfortunately i was wrong about them, but people just make assumptions about names and really shouldn't.

I'm on a professional site and there are men there named Shirley, Kimberly, and Jussi, and women named Douglas and Michael.  You can't assume!  Not to mention the ambiguous Pat, Dana, and Jess!


Jay