Hello,

It has been awhile since I have posted on Susan's and since then I have changed my name from Molly to Maya.  Over the last year my life has gone through a lot of changes.

A short story: Last September I went to a transgender store for the first time and I was scared to death.  I walked pass the store several times but couldn't get the courage to go in so I finally had lunch next door to just see who went in and out of the store and to muster the inner strength to actually go in.

When I finally walked in the store I was met by the owner who sized me up and assumed I didn't belong based on how I looked and gently asked if I realized who the stores customers were.  I said yes in a rather meek voice, being self-conscious and unsure of myself.  She then said welcome and asked my femme name.  I hadn't thought about a name and just blurted out Molly without thinking.  I still don't know where that came from.  So I became Molly but it never felt right.

Since that day I have come out to my wife, been in therapy for about eight months, have begun facial laser treatments, and periodically going to support group meetings.  This is a long route to say that I have finally been thinking about who I am and who I see myself becoming.  Increasingly when I look in the mirror I don't see a Molly, so the quest to find a name that feels right and one I can live with as I continue my transition.  After much soul seaching and playing with names in my mind I have decided I am Maya.  It feels right and I am comfortable with it.

Thank you for being here and for giving me a place where there are kindred spirits.  I have been busy at work and spending time maintaining my relationship with my wife, so I have not have a lot of time to post or visit Susan's.  But I think of all of you often and make a quick pass of recent post when I can.  I am always here in spirit.

Maya

Maya,

Your name is Lovely!

I have often wondered how you have been and have prayed for your wife and you to be able to work together to make the most of your marriage. I will continue to do so. Thank you for stopping in long enough for share this part of your journey with us. Thank you also for putting my wondering mind at ease.
Come back when you can and share what ever is right for Maya now.

Smiles,
Peggiann

Hi Maya,

What a lovely name you have choosen.

Life is constant change when we transition that is for sure, but the one of the things that defines us is our name.

I spent 3 months choosing mine, looking up the meanings and trying to make an annagram out of the three names I wanted (but failing).

It is really ironic that previously my initials where M.A.N and I hated my parents for that and it was really good to change and to see this on documentations.

Don't be a stranger and work hard on that relationship with your wife.....

Buffy (whose initials are now RJT)

Hello Maya,

You have a lovely new name.  I hope everything between you and your wife are going well.  I realize going through transition is not easy on relationships, but hang in there.  I wish you well on your journey.  I look forward to reading more from you.  Take care!   

Hugs,

Shannon

Maya,
Maya, I like the name.
Molly was okay and I really like the person who I got to know but I think Maya fits you much better.
Welcome back you've been gone too long.
I hope you stick around for awhile and tell us how you are doing.
Yours

Jillieann

Maya, I really like that name. 

Hi Maya:

I concur with everyone!  I love your name and may steal it from you.. , just kidding!

Seriously, it is a beautiful name, very....um...exotic.. if you will.


tinkerbell

Great name Maya.  And great story.

Melissa

Welcome back Maya! It's a very pretty name.

Maya is a lovely name!

News of your progress is great to hear too.

Best wishes to you!
helen

I agree, Maya.  I love the name, and it is shared by our national poet, Maya Angelou.

Robyn