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Stealth: Unless you've "Got it all", you're still in a closet

Started by Julie Marie, August 10, 2009, 04:10:04 PM

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tekla

Then no problem, the degree would be in the new name, as well as the initial publications and presentations, and awards.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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lisagurl

Quoteyup yup but how about if somebody transitioned early & got their PhD or masters afterwards?

The PhD route is a difficult on the are many out of work or working below their abilities. The number of people with tenure is dropping as they replace proffessors with adjuncts.
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tekla

Most of the people I know got out right around when the universities and colleges started referring to students as consumers. The ones I know do the gypsy deal, teaching one or two classes in a two or three schools. Of the top graduates in my program during the 8 years I was there, none of us are still teaching.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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sweetstars

Generally speaking, I have a professional job and a graduate degree.  Personally, I think it has to do with ones past profession as well.  I have noticed older transitioners have stuck to largely male dominated careers, this is less likely the case with younger transitioners.  My career history has been established under a female name, or or my refrences are folks who have known I have transitioned and are very respectful.  I am not worried about publications either.  The career I have is typically very liberal, and it tends to be female dominated.  Yes one can get to a level of having a higher professional career where it can be hard, but you don't have to start on skid row either, just have past employers who are cooperative.  I have known plenty of younger people with professional degrees and jobs who were younger move on pretty well.  Its not just based on one being in a professional career or icoming from skid row.  I have kept a rather low profile, AND have kept a professional career.  So I think its a bit of a misnomer one having a professional career makes it more likely to be discovered, I have found the opposite to be true from my own experiences.  I think being in a male-dominated career path tends to be much more damaging.

I should note, I am not in academia...for good reason.  The university system is changing in a very bad way.  I turned my back on a job as a professor for good reason.
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K8

Sweetstars, I think you and I are talking about the same thing, i.e., that gradually you get to the point where more people do not know about your past than do know.  I'm not sure I would call that stealth, though.

Deep stealth used to be almost a requirement for survival in the bad old days but now usually isn't necessary.  I am open and honest with my friends who knew me before transition, but I don't go around telling everyone.  If someone treats me as the woman I am, I just accept that and don't bother pointing out that I used to present male.

What I don't understand is why my understanding - as an older person and a late transitioner - is any different from what you are saying. ???  To me, "stealth" is actively hiding your background.  It can be done, especially if you are younger and have less background to hide.  But at some point it may come out, regardless. 

I think what we are both talking about, Sweetstars, is an almost "organic stealth" that grows out of just living your new life.  A younger transitioner is more likely to achieve that simply because they have more of their life to live as their new self.

N'cest pas?

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Vancha

I want to be stealth.  As far as I see it, being trans is only a necessity in order to be what and who I want to be.  But I identify as male and will identify solely as male when I feel I am at the end of my transition, and as there is a pretty good likelihood that I will pass (and am thus very lucky), I find there to be no need to let others know about my past.  Maybe those who are closest to me.  But there is no shame in being trans.  I just don't consider it a big part of my identity.
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Zelane

Quote from: K8 on August 14, 2009, 07:28:03 PM
Sweetstars, I think you and I are talking about the same thing, i.e., that gradually you get to the point where more people do not know about your past than do know.  I'm not sure I would call that stealth, though.
I think thats woodworking.

One thing I normally say its that every transitioner has his/her own challenges. They are different for each one and can also be similar but it all depends on several things like:

  • Age
  • Location
  • Family
  • Studies
  • Cultural situation

And of course, the level of acceptation and/or tolerance you receive.


Like others have say it, the younger you start transition the larger the possibility that you will have less "baggage" to bring to your transition. There are things for example like marriage and kids that when those things started to appear on my horizon I panicked and thats when I realized I just couldnt keep going like this anymore and then I transitioned.
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Yvonne

Quote from: Zelane on August 16, 2009, 03:36:02 AM


  • Age
  • Location
  • Family
  • Studies
  • Cultural situation

And of course, the level of acceptation and/or tolerance you receive.


Like others have say it, the younger you start transition the larger the possibility that you will have less "baggage" to bring to your transition. There are things for example like marriage and kids that when those things started to appear on my horizon I panicked and thats when I realized I just couldnt keep going like this anymore and then I transitioned.

It also depends on where you live.  Someone that lives in America doesn't have the same level of anonymity as someone that lives in a foreign country.

Post Merge: August 16, 2009, 04:34:36 PM

EDIT: you'd already said Location, Zelane.  Bad me.
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Northern Jane

Quote from: Julie Marie on August 14, 2009, 02:57:31 PM
I know of no woman who has done what I have....

I had some work history when I 'transitioned' at 24 and one letter of reference from a sympathetic employer. I also had a college transcript - they were also sympathetic and my college records were non-gendered. I was the only woman in my field in the early years and built my career as a woman. One of the greatest fringe benefits was opening the doors for other women, thanks to being stealth. I experienced "the glass ceiling", wage disparity and other things all women face. I am proud of my career and the only "advantage" I had over other women was that I had learned to stand up for myself.
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Chrissty

It just seems like we need to start thinking like entrepreneurs...

I was advised a while back to start looking at a portfolio of business opportunities (more than one)...

..to help in the later years of life...

I now see this as more essential than ever before..."stuff" this employment lark...

Chrissty
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