I agree!
Everyone should make their own choices.
I can understand why a person would choose stealth, and the only thing I've ever said about their choices is "I wouldn't make them". Which is perfectly reasonable. I'm not you, I will never make all the same choices as you.
In fact, most non-stealth/out people I've seen have made the choice to express their reasons why they are out, and state that they couldn't make the same choices as those that are stealth.
So Far, I've never seen an out person say that stealth persons are "wrong" or sit and wonder why stealth people would make that choice in a derogatory fashion. I've seen them say "I couldn't do that because it would feel like X to me" where X is any set of words that imply deception or hiding or whatnot.
This is not the same thing as "stealth = X", it is a voicing of what it would feel like to the person that is choosing not to be stealth. There's a Vast difference between the two.
In return, I've seen, repeated posts where stealth folk sit and wonder about out folk with phrases like "they're all" and "they want" and "they think".
"I think/feel/want" is out the question, replaced with "they".
And that's usually heavily laden with insults of characters or integrity or even sanity of the out person.
I'm not saying that all stealth people do X and all out people do Y. I'm saying that this is what I've seen so far.
_
Secondly.
On the topic of advocating equal rights and so on and so forth.
If you don't want to be a public figure who fights for the rights of something you know, then don't.
Don't fool yourself. You'll never be as powerful a figure in support of a minority as "ordinary, average person off the street" as "out and proud member of the minority".
Everyone can help, but not everyone can stand up and go "look, when you see me you see a woman, but.. it wasn't always so".
People have a hard time accepting something they don't "know" and without out post-transition people, people don't "know" how normal post-transition folk are.
But that's not your problem.
If you don't want to be that out person, that's your choice and we'll respect that choice.
The problem comes in when you misrepresent your choice, and even worse, misrepresent other people's choices.
Everyone can help, but a stealthed post-transition woman won't be able to help more than your average cisgendered woman.
And to suggest that those that are out are out for anything other than the reasons they give is rude.
