Allot of people don't understand the difference between a gay man and a trans woman... Especially in the "heterosexual" world

Most folks are uneducated and thus they group everyone together as either heterosexual or homosexual and this leads to an insulting misuse of terms

Trans people unfortunately bare the brunt of this misuse by ignorant people

Before I began visiting trans forums I had no clue... I knew there was a difference, but I wasn't sure of what it was

I knew I wasn't a "gay guy"... Hecks, I didn't see myself as a man at all and allot of gay men kinda bothered me

But at the same time I would find myself feeling attracted to nice strait men and would wish to be there girlfriend

I didn't want to be their gay boyfriend... I wanted to be treated like a lady and be their woman

Then there was also the fact that I was still attracted to women who were usually lesbians

Anyway, visiting these forums has helped me out allot... Not just to understand myself better, but to understand others as well

Quote from: rejennyrated on July 16, 2010, 06:06:10 AM
I never yet met a gay man who wanted rid of his penis, to have breasts, to lose his masculine physical strength and deep voice, and to be regarded by most men as psychologically almost a different species, yet that is exactly what most of us do desire, and therein, in a nutshell, lies the difference.

For a large part of my life, I had a strong aversion to vaginas.  Perhaps it was because my mother ran around naked in the house while getting ready and didn't think it would negatively affect me, though I recall being disgusted by it.  Not until very recently did I actually know the complete anatomical details of female genitalia. 

So, I never thought much about not wanting my penis until recently, yet I would have not problem with losing it.  Sure, receiving oral sex feels great, but I find it a bit disconcerting for some reason.  I would feel much better if I had female parts.  I asked my brother how he would feel if he lost his penis and it sounded like it would be the end of the world since that was the most important thing to him.  I can't identify with that at all. 

No great desire for breasts for my sake, but since it is such a big turn on for men I would not mind having them.  Never had that much physical strength, and always did feel like another species since I seem to follow the road less traveled. 

Having been celibate for so many decades, I don't feel a big need for any genitalia other than for sex, and since I am only attracted to men, sex would be with men.  I've had dear gay friends and followed the activist route for a while, but never really felt that I fit in with that group, but then I never had a swimmer's body either, which seems to make a difference in some circles. 

Perhaps since I have been a bit lost about who I am for some time, always pleasing others, yet having a strong attraction to men, perhaps this is what has made me see personal connections to gender and sexuality, to the displeasure of many folks here.  Who I am has been more about how I relate to others than what is inside.

Well I really wouldn't worry too much about those who want to get uptight. A question is just a question, and without wanting in any way to offend anyone or fuel any residual fire over this I personally feel any violent reactions may possibly say more about other peoples insecurities than the validity of your question.

I and many others here clearly understood what you were asking, and although I do think there is indeed a vast difference, I certainly don't find the question offensive in the slightest. In fact I thought it was an interesting and thought provoking enquiry from someone who is obviously feeling their way towards a new understanding of themselves.

Thank you Jenny, and bless you.  I know they are not the same, which is why I asked the question thinking responses would provide some help for me to figure out who I am. 

BTW, love your name.  I would have picked Jenny for my name (what my mother would have named me if I had been born female), but my sister has that name, so I thought it would feel funny.

Quote from: Robertina on July 16, 2010, 05:15:40 PM
Thank you Jenny, and bless you.  I know they are not the same, which is why I asked the question thinking responses would provide some help for me to figure out who I am. 

BTW, love your name.  I would have picked Jenny for my name (what my mother would have named me if I had been born female), but my sister has that name, so I thought it would feel funny.

Well Jenny genuinely was half my childhood name. My childhood consisted of being openly trans - Jenny was my female name. Then when I went through reparative therapy in my late teens I became exclusively James for a while until in my early twenties I was Rejennyrated as Jenny again.

Of course I'm a doctor who fan too so it just seemed the perfect name for me online.

Quote from: Robertina on July 16, 2010, 04:45:04 PM
For a large part of my life, I had a strong aversion to vaginas.  Perhaps it was because my mother ran around naked in the house while getting ready and didn't think it would negatively affect me, though I recall being disgusted by it.  Not until very recently did I actually know the complete anatomical details of female genitalia. 

So, I never thought much about not wanting my penis until recently, yet I would have not problem with losing it.  Sure, receiving oral sex feels great, but I find it a bit disconcerting for some reason.  I would feel much better if I had female parts.  I asked my brother how he would feel if he lost his penis and it sounded like it would be the end of the world since that was the most important thing to him.  I can't identify with that at all. 

No great desire for breasts for my sake, but since it is such a big turn on for men I would not mind having them.  Never had that much physical strength, and always did feel like another species since I seem to follow the road less traveled. 

Having been celibate for so many decades, I don't feel a big need for any genitalia other than for sex, and since I am only attracted to men, sex would be with men.  I've had dear gay friends and followed the activist route for a while, but never really felt that I fit in with that group, but then I never had a swimmer's body either, which seems to make a difference in some circles. 

Perhaps since I have been a bit lost about who I am for some time, always pleasing others, yet having a strong attraction to men, perhaps this is what has made me see personal connections to gender and sexuality, to the displeasure of many folks here.  Who I am has been more about how I relate to others than what is inside.

It is to my knowledge that typically guys dont want to part with their penis for any reason, and they feel less of a man without one, this statement you mentioned "but I find it a bit disconcerting for some reason.  I would feel much better if I had female parts", is how a lot of felt when having sex with our partners pre-transition.  That doesnt necessarily mean you TS, but it does mean you need a therapist to help you figure things out, there seems to be things you believe but you let others shape you in the way they like rather then take time to know yourself, "Perhaps since I have been a bit lost about who I am for some time, always pleasing others".  After all its easier to let others do the driving and just go along for the ride, that way if their are problems the drive is the one responsible.  At some point you have to take the wheel.  Or could be you are afraid at what you might find if you look deeper.

Anyway point is, you probably should get a therapist to help you sort things out.

I have a therapist, and the last session is where we discovered my history of pleasing and not really knowing who I am.  He is not a gender specialist, but he is the best that I can go to at the present. 

Sometimes I wonder if I went back on the T if my feelings would change, but I hate the stuff.  What got me really questioning my gender was the relationship with my last boyfriend.  He was the first man that I was ever with who identified as straight, and treated me as a girl (its a Latino a cultural thing that is difficult to explain).  He never once saw my male parts.  This was all new to me, and was a much better relationship than I had ever had with a gay man.  I liked how he made me feel, and how he treated me.  I liked how I started to feel about myself.

I made small changes, like starting to wear woman's perfume and deodorant, first because I asked him which he preferred and second because I much prefer the floral scents but never had courage to wear them.  I don't like woman's perfume on my male partner, but I like it on me.  BTW, he told me to wear what I like, but after I told him that I am wearing it more for him than me, he said woman's perfume would be nice. 

So, it is mainly through this relationship that I have allowed myself to re-question my gender, yet because of this, for me, it is closely tied to my sexual orientation, at least, how I want to sexual relate to men and be treated by them - at least my partner. 

All that said, I'm learning that I will have to put up with all the stuff that woman put up with, such as men often needing help dressing properly, not always being the most sensitive, and not taking subtle hints to well - this wasn't the case with the gay guys I new, but then, I never hit it off with them to well.

Hi Robertina.. sounds like your guy is very nice - has he got a few brothers in need of partners?

I work with gay guys and sex is their reason for living.   They are so promiscuous too. 
The one who is quite effeminate is the most promiscuous of the lot. 11 sexual incidents with strangers in 3 days!
And they talk about having chest surgery to get a completely flat chest as they hate even the slight natural bulge of the average male pectorals! How weird is that?

Take women out of the equation and men show our true selves.

When I take my T, yeah I get horny too, well, without it as well, but not as much - BUT, I get more turned on by emotional connection, or something sweet the guy does.  For porno and stuff, I think its much more hot to see a sexy guy that is clothed, or in shorts, than just all the junk hanging out, and much more sexy to see guys being romantic with each other rather than just having sex. 

But guys I've talked to seem to prefer the hard core pics and videos.  I was showing my brother some girly pics the other day (he is quite of age) but then I said, "oh, you would probably rather see something more romantic - a pretty girl - instead of just a girl with everything hanging out, and he said, "and you would be wrong."  I thought that was cute, but made me realize the difference.

Well, my guy can be a pain in the behind sometimes, mainly because he isn't sure what he wants and is scared to let anyone know that he likes someone that has male genitalia, even if he doesn't go there.  Part of the problem may be our age difference, but dang, having a 27 year old guy interested in me was pretty flattering! 

Sadly, no brothers - his brother died a few years ago.

Question to the guys:  were you always horny like a guy, or did this mainly come about after T? 

Are young girls  just as horny as young guys, but manifest it in a different way?

Quote from: Robertina on July 17, 2010, 11:32:23 AMQuestion to the guys:  were you always horny like a guy, or did this mainly come about after T? 

Are young girls  just as horny as young guys, but manifest it in a different way?

I was way hornier going through my first puberty than being on T now. When it came to getting off, I was much more interested in instant gratification, though emotionally I liked subtle tenderness.

Now that I'm older and on T and going through a second puberty, I find that emotional attachment makes it a lot easier to get turned on. I like the thought of foreplay more, I like the subtle queues of a woman's body language. Those sort of things make my heart flutter and get things running. Every once in a while I'll get turned on by picture alone, but it's much more exciting to be teased visually, verbally and emotionally.

only TS can go through a second puberty...everyone else just gets one.

I still have to see a "gay male" taking estrogen, jeopardizing his libido & getting rid of his precious penis through GRS.  Gay males enjoy being men because that's what they are, MEN!!!

Transsexual women, on the other hand, are female psychologically and neurologically.

Quote from: Robertina on July 17, 2010, 11:32:23 AM
When I take my T, yeah I get horny too, well, without it as well, but not as much - BUT, I get more turned on by emotional connection, or something sweet the guy does.  For porno and stuff, I think its much more hot to see a sexy guy that is clothed, or in shorts, than just all the junk hanging out, and much more sexy to see guys being romantic with each other rather than just having sex. 

But guys I've talked to seem to prefer the hard core pics and videos.  I was showing my brother some girly pics the other day (he is quite of age) but then I said, "oh, you would probably rather see something more romantic - a pretty girl - instead of just a girl with everything hanging out, and he said, "and you would be wrong."  I thought that was cute, but made me realize the difference.

Well, my guy can be a pain in the behind sometimes, mainly because he isn't sure what he wants and is scared to let anyone know that he likes someone that has male genitalia, even if he doesn't go there.  Part of the problem may be our age difference, but dang, having a 27 year old guy interested in me was pretty flattering! 

Sadly, no brothers - his brother died a few years ago.

Question to the guys:  were you always horny like a guy, or did this mainly come about after T? 

Are young girls  just as horny as young guys, but manifest it in a different way?

Given enough T anyone can be horny,  A lot of TS girls go through a slut phase that when their T is still high and you want to jump everything that moves, eventually when E is dominant it goes away and you can think clearly.  Then it kinda changes... when i was a guy and got stimulated by something i stayed that way pretty much all day until i did something about it, now that i have normal balanced hormone levels for a female, I can get excited about something then 5 minutes later think about shoes and its totally gone. 

I do have to mention a few things, being a woman things feel a lot different, when i am kissed passionately by my fiance i feel is though my heart literally skips a beat and electricity travels down my body.  Its like your whole body reacts to that.  The first time i got it, it was so intense that i thought i was having a heart attack and checked my right arm for shooting pains... but now it just feels nice. 

The best surprise was orgasms, I havent had SRS yet, so i didnt think i could get a "Female" orgasm, but turns out i could.  Its not with my fiance though, hes straight and wants nothing to do with whats down south, and neither do i, i dated a man before and i am sure he was gay, but being with him told me a lot about myself.  A female orgasm is hard to get, you cant typically get it by yourself, it involves two parts, HE has to be doing everything right in terms of motion and timing, at the same time you are putting a puzzle together mentally in your head.  If you get the puzzle together at the right time it happens and I am not kidding when i say its at least 500x stronger then your BEST orgasm as a man.  Two in a row would knock me out its so intense.  You lose control of your body, and for me when its over i cant even stand up for a minute and my legs are numb, my heart is racing, and my whole body is super sensitive.

But as for straight hardcore, i dont even watch porn anymore, and prefer a good clothed love scene where i can imagine more then i see. 

I would feel really unhappy if anyone is trying to say that I am homosexual. I would look at him into his eyes, and tell him that I am not homosexual, I'd better be called transgender. I am not saying that I dislike gay persons, but since I am not one of them, I would be mad if identified as one of them.

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Post Merge: July 18, 2010, 09:58:27 AM

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Quote from: Izumi on July 18, 2010, 05:15:37 AM
eventually when E is dominant it goes away and you can think clearly.  Then it kinda changes... when i was a guy and got stimulated by something i stayed that way pretty much all day until i did something about it, now that i have normal balanced hormone levels for a female, I can get excited about something then 5 minutes later think about shoes and its totally gone. 

I totally agree with that. After taking E for 9 days I am feeling much, much better than I used to be. I felt subtle changes are happening inside me, both physically and mentally. Everyday I spend hours before the mirror, delighted to discover the miracles happening on my skin and my body. And I can think things with a much clearer mind now, with all those crazy sex impulses are gone. I really should had started hormones earlier!

I always knew from an early age that I had intense feelings that my outward physicality didn't match my inner mindset...

(And longed for breasts and periods at puberty).... and was ghormonghastly envious of teenage girls....

But I never considered myself gay for a single moment....

And never had a sexual encounter with a man till I was at least a year or so in with HRT... and had quit my first life for good...

(Tis brain sex issues me thinks here)

http://shb-info.org/sexbrain.html

Go looksee.....

Cruella, thank you so much for that link!

Quote from: Izumi on July 18, 2010, 05:15:37 AM

I do have to mention a few things, being a woman things feel a lot different, when i am kissed passionately by my fiance i feel is though my heart literally skips a beat and electricity travels down my body.  Its like your whole body reacts to that.  The first time i got it, it was so intense that i thought i was having a heart attack and checked my right arm for shooting pains... but now it just feels nice. 

Thats why I love being a woman, sometimes just being held cuddled and kissed by my Fiancé, or just whispering sweet nothings in my ear, tell me Im pretty, its worth more than all the sex in the world, as for flowers, yes flowers do work, when I tolded my Fiancé I was trans, after he excepted me, he gave me a bunch of pink roses with a card which read ''your a very special Lady'' it was so beautiful.
Being a trans woman and Gay male is totally different, no connection, Gay males are men who like men, trans women are women, can be lesbean or straight, Im a ''trans woman'' who happens to be straight, I like MEN!
P

Quote from: pretty pauline on July 22, 2010, 02:27:25 PM
Thats why I love being a woman, sometimes just being held cuddled and kissed by my Fiancé, or just whispering sweet nothings in my ear, tell me Im pretty, its worth more than all the sex in the world, as for flowers, yes flowers do work, when I tolded my Fiancé I was trans, after he excepted me, he gave me a bunch of pink roses with a card which read ''your a very special Lady'' it was so beautiful.
Being a trans woman and Gay male is totally different, no connection, Gay males are men who like men, trans women are women, can be lesbean or straight, Im a ''trans woman'' who happens to be straight, I like MEN!
P

Sometimes they even walk in the rain over a mile to bring you a sandwich because you were too sick to make lunch, and you didnt even ask them too, they just do it. 

And even in your worst bad hair days where you think you look awful they think you look great, their only response, "If only you could see what i see~"...

Yeah, men are great.

If the thought of having your penis turned into a vagina does not appeal to you, you might not be an MTF transexual.  I know there are non-ops who live full time, and those peeps are TG, but I think the definition of "transexual" pretty much revolves around an expreesed desire to alter primary sexual characteristics to that of the sex not assigned at birth.  That pretty much sums it up, I think.