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And Guess Who's Fired !

Started by A, November 15, 2010, 04:23:57 PM

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A

Yup, it lasted 3 days. This morning, I came to work and my boss called me in his office to tell me my training would not be continued. After a discussion with the director, "it will not do".

When I asked for details, he told me my attitude with clients was wrong ; I was apparently too shy. He also told me he had a problem with my "standing", i.e. appearance. He had asked for a necktie, which I did not wear. I did buy one, and I asked two or three employees if they could help me with it, but none could. I had resigned to ask my boss to help me with it. Ironic, huh ?

He also confessed that there actually was a problem with my hair. I'm not sure if I like the fact of including a reason he had not mentioned to me in justifying my dismissal, but well. It appears a customer mentioned he did not like my hair.

I was pretty devastated and I cried for a while - I had the decency of not breaking into tears in front of him at least - but I guess I'm okay now ; I'll just resume my job search.

Since he was hesitant and looked unsure about his reasons, I believe my being feminine may have influenced his choice, but I cannot say for sure, and I will certainly not blame it for my failure. I failed, and accepting that fact is the first step to getting back up.

I'm very disappointed, however. I liked the job and I was beginning to be good at it. But I guess that is just how things are.

Funny thing, I had to actually make an effort to let the tears out, and they were artificially blocked two minutes afterwards, and I began feeling angry at the employer and the customer who had helped them fire me, when I actually do not blame them at all. I have always hated doing that, and since I know it's the testosterone's fault, I hate it even more. I wish I could just walk into a clinic and get an appointment for an orchiectomy.

Edit : Additional news. Bad news : I lost my bus pass today ; it apparently fell from my pocket. Not-that-bad news : my co-tenant's boyfriend is moving in with us. It means less space in the appartment, but it also means a better TV and a better non-broken fridge. [The one I had borrowed from my father had shelves that kept breaking and I'm tired of gluing them over and over again.] It also means lower rent and Bell bill. It makes me save about 110$ a month. Not much, but not a thorn.
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azSam

A - I'm so sorry  :icon_sadblinky: I understand how that may have felt. And you have every right to feel angry. I sure would. I suspect it's something more personal than professional. But there is no proof of that.

*Hugs*, it will get better! If you ever need another hug just let me know. I'll be your personal hug dispenser.

QuoteI wish I could just walk into a clinic and get an appointment for an orchiectomy.

I wish I could do that too  ;D
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V M

I am sorry that job did not work out for you... It is always very upsetting when things like that happen

But one must look forward... Possible a better job is in the works ahead

*HUGS*
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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spacial

Try not to be too down A. I and I'm sure, many others here have lost dozens of jobs.

Rest for a day or so then try to get back on the trail.

Take care.
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purple sky

Is there not any youth, (young adult) programs the government of Quebec could offer to you? They could probably help out allot.  Have you tried to network with any pride centers? sorry to hear that your job did not work out.
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Janet_Girl

I am sorry that you lost a job that you liked and were getting the hang of.  Using your appearance is just plain BS as far as I am concerned.

But the bright side it that it was not meant for you.  The next one may be just the ticket for you.
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xAndrewx

I'm so sorry A :( Good luck towards finding a new job. Maybe everything happens for a reason? Your boss was an idiot for not mentioning your hair before hand.

Elsa

I cant believe what happened I am really sorry about it, I think your boss should have stood up for you especially since you were new and really liked the job...  I honestly think he was a complete moron for giving such a stupid reason for letting you go...  I am sure you would do better at your next one...
Sometimes when life is a fight - we just have to fight back and say screw you - I want to live.

Sometimes we just need to believe.
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jessica

yeah that always sucks, every job I've had that I enjoyed has layed me off with no reason given I even got banned permanently from a temp agency because I told them I had to go to school so I couldn't go to their meeting thing so I know how you must feel. I have a good attitude and I always make an effort to be positive efficient and professional at work so It's hard to know what people expect sometimes.
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TheAetherealMeadow

That's absolutely awful! I'm so sorry to hear about that. And what's with the customer who complained to your boss about your hair? Seriously, why would someone complain to a manager just because they don't like someone's hair? These ungrateful, grumpy @$%$#^@ need to be rounded up on an island somewhere so that the rest of us can live in peace.
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jessica

yeah people suck that's why I like jobs where you don't gotta deal with random customers just other employees. good luck on the job search
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Nikolai_S

I'm so sorry to hear about that, A. I agree with AetherealMeadow, it's appalling that a customer would complain about such a trivial manner - and then for your boss to use it to justify firing you? At least as disappointing as this is, you know you won't have to deal with that moron as your boss anymore. Good luck in searching for another position.
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dyslexi

It is a wonder you don't have a discrimination case going. I guess it would be hard to prove they clocked you over gender issues
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spacial

It's a sad reality that, when jobs are hard to find, the crappy employers tend to think they can treat people badly and fire them at will, for the most trivial reasons.

I've had one week of work this year, with a company that I've done loads of work for in the past. I have recently discovered that the reason they didn't keep me on was because some 20 year old apprentice had a problem with me. (Though I didn't notice anything).

Take it on the chin. Rise above it.

Don't ever start thinking it's your fault. It isn't. It's just the way some people are.

Addition.

Something else I forgot to add.

A good boss will be looking at his workers. He will know them and what they can do.

Sadly, most are lousey. There's a principal that people are promoted to their level of incompetancy.

When job are scarse and people are getting laid off, most workers are feeling insecure. So they will tend to be more ready to be critical of others.

As the new one, you were just picked out.

If you did your best, then that is all anyone can ask. Try again.

If you didn't, the try again and do your best next time.
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justmeinoz

Well I guess if they have such a poor attitude to an enthusiastic employee it is their loss.  I certainly wouldn't be using their services either, nor would my family and friends. 

Chin up, you will get there.

Sandra.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Jalene E.

Sorry to hear you lost your job. It sure sounds like the boss had to dig pretty dam deep to come up with a reason to let you go. As for the customer complaint, I doubt that very much he needed to focus attention on some one other than himself. I have been in your shoes plenty. It is his loss and your gain because that was the wrong place for you the next will be the right and you will rise up higher than the guy that fired you over hair.
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tekla

It's funny how 'support' translates into telling people they are right (and the other person is wrong) no matter what, when real support would be to look at the situation and try to figure out how to avoid it in the future.  If you're getting fired on day 3 or 4, obviously some sort of major problems are going down.


it sure sounds like the boss had to dig pretty dam deep to come up with a reason to let you go
How's that?  This person only two tasks to accomplish, one is show up on time, the other is to try to reasonably look like you work there.  Failed at half of that, flat-out.  Given how many hours you couldn't find anybody to tie a tie?  Really?  You have time to post on here, but not to go to utube?  I only got 87 MILLION hits on that when I Googled it.  Many were videos.  In no small part, a huge part of any such job in a hotel is to solve problems, hopefully before they even are noticed.  What does this say about your future problem solving abilities?

If you are required to show up in a particular kind/style/fashion/color/costume do it or don't take the frickin' job.  If you don't do it don't be surprised if your sent home, or even fired.  If you're supposed to show up in black, don't show up in brown, dark gray, or navy blue and tell me 'it's close to black'.  There is 'black' and 'not-black' and you failed to understand the difference between the two, and you want me to pay you for that?  That being said, there is 'tie' or 'no tie' - there is nothing in between. 

As for the customer complaint, I doubt that very much he needed to focus attention on some one other than himself.
Oh I don't.  People complain.  A lot.  The more they are spending, the more expensive the product, the more they feel they have a right to bitch.  The richer the rich, the bigger the bitch.  And you're damn right people listen to them.  Money is power.  If I start that conversation off with how much I've spent that year in your hotel - or even better, how much money my company has spent there in total - yeah, people will be listening.  The bigger, better, more expensive things are, the bigger, better the bitching is, and the degree to which it's taken seriously (particularly in the hospitality industry) also goes way up.

fire them at will, for the most trivial reasons.
Using your appearance is just plain BS as far as I am concerned.
Most people, if they are not union workers, are pretty much 'at will' employees.  And not following the dress code is not a trivial reason.  That (whatever it is) is the 'corporate image' and for a desk person it's pretty much the core of the job to represent the corporation to the public.  There are a lot of jobs that don't require a dress code, if a dress code is hard for you to handle, it's best to seek out those jobs. 

Appearance is important for a lot of companies.  Sometimes for good reasons, other times for bad - either way it does not matter.  Once that is in the corporate culture, it's going to stay there.  Want a harsh dress code?  Right down to underwear requirement?  Read the one for Disney Park employees.

And even if it's not a 'formal code' there are lots of informal ones around, some those work in the exact opposite direction.  Don't show up at some major rock club in your beige Dockers with a colorful Izod shirt, the Tommy Hilfiger sweater tied casually around your neck and the Topsiders without sox, they don't hire people who look like that.  They don't want cocktail waitresses that look like the career section of The Limited, they want cocktail waitress that look like they were dragged though the slut section at Torrid or Hot Topic and finished the look off at Fredrick's of Hollywood.

Because you didn't drop $50 on each ticket, pay the service charge, pay the parking, get all rocked out to see your favorite band at this super cool venue to have someone who looks like the Pillsbury Doughgirl dressed as Marian the Librarian serving you.  It ruins the total effect you're paying for.  So too, Mister (or Miss, sometimes they are even worse) Professional Business Traveler does not want to finally show up at the hotel and have some scruffy person to try to deal with.  They want (expect) to pretty much find a carbon-copy clone of their lackey/flunky/administrative assistant back at the office who dresses so corporate that thier pajamas have a button-down collar.

To the hotel, Disneyland, and the destination nightclub, appearance (though what it is varies greatly) is very important.  And all of them work to accomplish some kind of image projection.  To work there is to buy into, accept, and agree to that.

And, the first reason stated was I was apparently too shy which is a bad trait in an aggressive pro-active job position.  And, without a lot of work, that kind of thing runs deep and is very hard to change. Five Star, Four Star, Three Star - are not just the levels of the accouterments and services, but also the level and quality of the staff.1  Professional shiny, happy people.  Go-getters, outgoing, people pleasers, problem solvers - "Yes Sir!  Can Do!  I'll see about that right away." kind of people. They have to be aggressively enthusiastic.  Which, of course, many people are not.  Those people are not well suited to such public positions, in the same why that people with no mechanical skills and who are 'all thumbs' would find my job most difficult.

There seems to be some sort of notion that your job will care about you.  That's wrong.  They pay you to care about the job.  The management of any business, of all business does not care about your problems/troubles/backstory/struggles/trials/tribulations/untold suffering and all that - YOU ARE A POSITION ON AN ORG-CHART THAT IS ALL.  That position comes with various tasks/responsibilities/expectations and you're either fulfilling them, or you're not cutting it.  And really, nobody in the work situation is really - like reality really - is ever going to really want to hear about your problems/troubles/backstory/struggles/trials/tribulations/untold suffering and all that unless they become your real friend, and then, at that, confine such stories for your off-work sojourns. To the degree that such things come up in a work context, then thats' pretty much the degree that the real work is not being done.





1. I regularly stay (every other month or so) at hotels like these.  I work at them, or wind up going to one for something or another every few weeks.   The Westin St. Francis, the Embarcadero Hyatt, The Palace, Intercontinental, W or some trendy boutique hotel with lots of stars here in San Francisco are favorites.  I've also stayed at my share of blue-light cheep hotels, no-tell motels and cinderblock and still visible chalk body outlines on the carpet so I know the difference.  I even worked a desk, at a hostel, which is more in tune with who I am, but the job is the same, it's not rocket science, but it is a lot of dealing with people who may, or may not be, at their personal best when you get ahold of them.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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regan

Quote from: A on November 15, 2010, 04:23:57 PM
Edit : Additional news. Bad news : I lost my bus pass today ; it apparently fell from my pocket. Not-that-bad news : my co-tenant's boyfriend is moving in with us. It means less space in the appartment, but it also means a better TV and a better non-broken fridge. [The one I had borrowed from my father had shelves that kept breaking and I'm tired of gluing them over and over again.] It also means lower rent and Bell bill. It makes me save about 110$ a month. Not much, but not a thorn.

Whatever you do, put that money aside for transition.  You're used to living on $110 less a month anyways.
Our biograhies are our own and we need to accept our own diversity without being ashamed that we're somehow not trans enough.
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sarahm

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish it was better, but hell, I have been through the same, except they openly said that it was because I was looking to transition. They said, you cant lift heavy things which is a requirement for your job (Not really, I was working as a technician in IT) They made up all the lies under the sun just to try and justify getting rid of me.
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