Granted. But instead of having the ability to hold them in, you have the ability to suck them back in once you fart, like Peter in Family Guy. 

I wish I could see Seattle.

granted! you now see Seattle all the time double-visioned next to everything else you see all day or night.

i wish i had a car

Granted you have a car that does not work and just sits outside collecting rust

I wish I had the money to see my doctor

Quote from: Michael Alexander on December 03, 2010, 11:16:57 PM
Granted you have a car that does not work and just sits outside collecting rust

I wish I had the money to see my doctor

Granted, but you still don't get to talk to him.

I wish my sleep schedule would adhere to society's.

granted but now society is 3rd shift and only functions at night and you still aren't awake at the right time period.

i wish i knew how me and this woman I'm dating will turn out, whether she'll some day want a relationship with me or with someone else or will just never get over her issue.

Granted. You now know that you will marry, and then her 47 member extended family will move in with you.

I wish I had another slice of Chocolate Bavarian.

Granted, another slice,...and another...and another ....until end of time. You will be wider than the globe and eating another...


I wish for more time with my kids and grand kids.

Granted. You are all kidnapped and imprisoned together in a small basement for years.

I wish my otitis would go away faster.

granted : Total ear removal is covered by insurance even, unfortunately it means you are deaf too.

i wish for a small planet sized basement, ( see former wish)

Granted: But to get you there NASA have placed you into deep stasis..... and its 25,500 light years away.... what a way to dream though?

i wish for all the peoples of the world to live in harmony and adore fluffy kittens.....eerrgh, bitch-slap to head.... no I don't....

I wish all those on Susan's a very merriment coming Xmas/winter holiday period.... yep that's defo better

We all have the best end-of-the-year ever, but next year....is fantastic too.  (I just don't have the heard to ruin it. )

I wish I will never have another period.

Granted. You are struck by lightning when you go out and your uterus is destroyed. Unfortunately, so are your kidneys and liver, so you will never leave a hospital room, either.

I wish my co-tenant didn't tell me "I don't give a damn" when I tell her I disagree her taking speed in our apartment.

Granted, she now gives a damn, but you're the one taking speed.

I wish it was winter break already! I can't take this anymore! 

Granted, but it's snowing in florida and people are ice skating on the beach.

I wish I could reverse time and start young again.

Granted.  You won't make the same mistakes you made last time, you will make different ones.

I wish my ride-on lawnmower wasn't broken.

Granted. Your garage door is broken, instead, so you still cannot mow your lawn.

I wish a check I do not remember making did not put my bank account in the minus this weekend.

granted, you now have millions and endless amounts of people are asking you for money round the clock

i wish i had called and started drivers training and called and got an appointment with a gender therapist days no weeks ago. no years ago would have been better.

Granted. You have called years ago to start training to become a gender therapist and had some pretty deep discussions with a driving instructor. Wait, what ? That's what happens when you do things too fast !

I wish they made an hypocaloric thing that tastes good, fills well and that I am not allergic to.

Granted.  You are now a rabbit.  Lettuce tastes delicious!

I wish to wake up tomorrow and, when I step on the scale, realize that I have precisely achieved my weight loss goal.

Granted. You have lost an arm to a maniac overnight. Your weight is perfect, now, though.

I wish people realized my avatar is a drawing made with lipstick, not blood, in the caption thread.