Quote from: beth on December 22, 2006, 01:11:32 PM
I did not see where anyone suggested giving access to this site and similar sites may do harm, instead I saw several posts suggesting it.

Touché

Melissa

Hi Beth !
Actually I think your right in your previous post... discression is advised !
Kids tend to think things are too easy...
....
though I have never been one to hide things from my Kid.... after all we live in a big world.... I have been descrete about some things. though if asked I alwayse take the time to explain and am totally honnest, holding nothing back, no matter how embarrising it might be.... honnesty is very important.
I feel shielding a child from the X raited shows on the tv is silly personally if they want to find out they will with or without your permission, so its best to have an open relationship in the first place.
but that is my opinion and not shaired by all I am sure.
the IMPORTANT thing in your Post Beth, was that the Child needs to SAY weather he is a boy or girl inside... you are absoultly right there !   thats where COMUNICATION comes in at again !
........
   I have an ingrown dislike for censorship from anyone or anything... and to sujest that  to a parent as a way to help their child I think is wrong. I think that is a way of thinking that must be done away with  if we are to progress as a socioty.
Though YOU MAY WELL BE CORRECT !  at this stage of the game in the kids life.... who are we to judge ?  it may very well be mentally the last straw for the kid to see that in their eyes even the people here do not understand what s/he is thinking...
 
Though the people here Do understand, we have no way of controling how this site is Precieved by the reader. so the child could easily get the "WRONG Idea" if i can use that term lightly....  because the idea of right and wrong is a subjective one...
if we as parents try to impress what is RIGHT and WRONG to our childern we run the risk of "Tainting their Minds with UNTRUTH"   we all do that... we judge daily that this is right and this is wrong.... its human nature.... but it is something we need to understand that what is right for me isn't nessarially right for you.  whats right for you isn't nessiarially right for me , and so on...
so we have a delima, what is right and wrong then ?   what socioty says ? ...what is the Norm ?  ...
its whats in your hart ! 
there is a passage in the bible that I love , it covers this with a blanket.....
it says "for him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to Him it is Sin"
I don't normially quote from the bible, but this one verse says it all, it is OLD wisdome
and a wisdome that our socioty has lost through the years.
....
my 2 coppers worth !
Bob......

For what little it is worth,

I concur with the say first idea come to think of it, HOWEVER, what cracked my shield and broke me was realizing both that there were (truly) others and that the it was TREATABLE.  Mostly that it was treatable. That I did not have to suffer in silence something could be done.  Until that time, I did my best to not let anyone know. I was a boy and that was that. ... If only it was that easy, heh.  I.e. past actions are not indicative.

When I was a teenager my mum found a load of her clothes in my bedroom, and to give her credit she didn't fly off the handle as I thought she might.

She did try to talk to me, but I was a teenager and while she may have said all the right things to try and get me to open up to her, I didn't know how valid that was, and still thought that there was no way I could possibly tell her what was going on inside of me. The subject was quickly dropped (much to my relief) and I guess she fell back on the "it's just a phase" thought.

Of course, I wish now I had been able to open up to her and wonder how different things might have been if I had.

To give another example, I recall when I was about 13 or 14 she had a chat with me about alcohol and how she didn't want me hanging around outside drinking with the other groups of kids that did that. Indeed, she recognised that as I and my friends got older we would want to "experiment" and if I ever wanted a drink to ask as she would rather buy a few cans for us to have at home than have us drinking to excess outside.

Looking back this was an amazingly liberal and understanding thing for her to say and offer to do, but at the time there was no way that I believed her really and no way I was ever going to say to an adult "can I have a few beers this weekend?" I was, after all, a teenager and adults 'just don't understand!'

The flip side to that is a couple of years later, just before Christmas, she came home with a few cans of beer for me, bought alongside the turkey etc. No big fuss was made of the fact, she just matter of factly produced them, said they were for me if I wanted them, and put them in the fridge. From that point on I knew I could talk to her about drinking, and did so - and avoided a few pitfalls along the way as I learned quickly that having a drink was ok, but getting drunk was not!

I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes when communicating with teenagers about sensitive issues actions speak far louder than words. Words can be mistrusted, and teenagers are still trying to learn under what circumstances we can talk to people about things and what the likely result is going to be. Unless they are sure, keeping quiet is often the safest option.

I think it is great that your son has a group of parents willing and wanting to help him. I hope he feels safe and secure enough to open up to you, and of course the potential importance of therapy in that should not be overlooked as others have said.

But, I still wonder if a positive action from yourselves might not break down a few barriers too? I presume you would rather he wasn't borrowing your clothes, so why not express that to him, whilst at the same time providing a small supply of his own. No need to make a big fuss about it, just have them somewhere he can easily access and let him know that they are there if he needs them. This may show him that you are approachable and willing to lend an understanding ear to him about this issue.

Quote from: Kimberly on December 22, 2006, 02:25:11 PM
For what little it is worth,

I concur with the say first idea come to think of it, HOWEVER, what cracked my shield and broke me was realizing both that there were (truly) others and that the it was TREATABLE.  Mostly that it was treatable. That I did not have to suffer in silence something could be done.  Until that time, I did my best to not let anyone know. I was a boy and that was that. ... If only it was that easy, heh.  I.e. past actions are not indicative.

Indeed Kim...
You indeed showed only slight signs of something being odd... the rest of your life had actually been exemplary, the perfect Son so to speek, but that was then and this is now.
though I can look back in our past and find little signs of your condition it never dawned upon me that it was more than a prefrence, You liked girls so I figured that some day nature would take its corse and grab you and you'ed say "WOW hay lady come here ! or something hehehehe" 
...
but that is past now and your future is ahead... you no longer need to live in aggony or dispair, the changes you want so desperately will come in time, you just have to be tough and wait it out ! its not a fast proccess when your "poorer than church mice" but it is still possable and we will get there eventually ... just haing in there Kiddo ! <GRIN>
....
Through Kim I have learned so much about this ailment and about life in general, I wouldn't trade My Kim for anyother kid out there...She is and continues to be truly a blessing !
....

Bob........

There is this article in the New York Times that has good advice, AND will let you know that you are NOT alone.

The thing that broke my denial was three questions:

A superior being  (God, space aliens, whatever) says, "I'm going to reset your life back to conception.  You will have pretty much the same feelings in your new life as you have so far.  But you may choose your gender."  What do you choose?

The same scenario as above, but with one addition -- whichever gender you choose, you will be completely happy with that gender, and you will never for the rest of your life wish to be the other gender.  What do you choose?

Lastly, you have lived a long ad fulfilling life, and it has come to an end.  Your friends and family have gathered for your memorial, and are remembering the person you were.  Which gender do you want them to remember you as?

I answered 'female' three times, and then understood what I must do.

I hope this information, as well as the other information that has been offered here, helps you and your child with this;

Karen

When I was a teenager my father caught me dressing...... He had me by my neck and pressed against the wall, feet dangeling....

Do you WANT to be a girl!!! Do you WANT to take hormones!!! Wear a dress!!.... and he kept the questions going like that for a few minuts....  I was beyond Terrified.... I answered to the negitive on everything (Though I desporatly wanted to scream yes)  Fear drove me into depression, and I purged... got rid of everything... I ofcorse relapsed, but durring my time of hardcore denial of myself...
I played with boys toys... paintball and all that stuff (I didnt have much in the way of playthings as a child so *shrugs* I started a rockband...  I took to wearing all black.  Everyone asked whose funeral I was going to or who I war mourning. Id never answer but here it is.  Myself.  I turned into a hardcore guy, noone ever clocked the idea that I was TS... Noone even though I could possably be gay... nothing.
It took years to undo the damage caused that afternoon.....

When you approach your child, understand there will be fear there, and that fear can be a poison. Take caution and be gental.  Dont hold your child up to the wall by there neck... Give them a chance to runaway and think, to escape if they need to.....  Your child, despite what they are or are going through will thankyou for that consideration....

Hope that helps some.....

I got a chance to talk to him this weekend.  I came into the room while he was on the computer and I said that I wanted to talk to him about something that was very private and that I had done some reading and that I now understand more about his need to crossdress.

He was looking at me intently and listening (kind of looked surprised that I knew and was understanding). I told him he is not alone and that there are kids his age that are going thru the same thing. I told him if he was interested I would tell him where to go on the internet to learn more about it himself. He said no that he didn't want to do that. I really don't feel he is ready to talk about it but I do feel that I opened the lines of communication to him so when he is ready I hope he comes to me. I didn't push I just wanted to let him know I was there if he wanted to talk. I told him it was our secret and I promised not to tell anyone. I told him I will be there no matter what for the rest of our lives and I will help him get thru this and I do understand what he is feeling.

I did ask him if he ever thought about wanting to be a girl and he said no. I asked if he got aroused by wearing them he said no. I said I know it's hard to talk to your mom about those things. I hugged him and said jokingly I know leave you alone right and he said no like he wasn't bothered by me talking to him. I gave him a big hug and told him I love him more than anything in the world and then just left it at that. 

We went to my brother in laws and when we pulled up he looked at me and said did you tell anyone. I said no I promised I wouldn't and then we went in and had a nice dinner with the family.

I then brought him back home. His father and step mother had found women's clothes in his backpack while he was with me that he had from before when he was at my house last week. I had removed them while he was here but he must have put them back in there when I went to sleep.

They put them in a bag and left them outside. I got them when I dropped him off. There was more in there then he had taken from here. He must have been collecting it from somewhere because a lot of the items were not mine and his step mom said they were not hers.

Today when I spoke to him on the phone I told him that they had found his things (I didn't want him to look and find them gone and get anxious about it) and that I told them (his dad and stepmom) they were mine (me, thinking it would save him embarrassment) I told him I would wash them and put them away. 

I feel odd. On one had I DO want to support him but I also dont want to enable something. I kind of feel like I would be handing my 14 year old a beer....I am not sure if that makes since to anyone here, may be Bob being a parent could have felt that at one point. I assume Kimberly is your daughter and it is really nice to hear her side as well and everyone here gave me great information and I dont feel I could have handled my talk with him in the right manner with out ALL of your advice. Thank you

I truly wish that all parents could be as understanding of and considerate towards their children as you have been to yours.

A portion of our society would say that this will only spoil the child and guarantee it will deviate from society's straight and narrow path to its ruin -- or some such.  This is wrong and immoral in my book, and I'm sure you are handling this in the best, most good way.

Karen

Hi Mom...
Ummm yah I know the feeling... and its like being between a rock and a hard place...
Dammed if you do Dammed if you don't and it all depends on what you do next....
but relax.... rest asured Your Kid will be what he will be...good or bad right or wrong
all you can do now is INFULUNCE him.... you can't control him.  he is a human being
he has his own life to live... even though you are still "Raiseing him" and he's not out on his own...
You Know full well that if you take the close away he will find others...
if you tell him Cross dressing is bad he's lible to do it more just to spite you !
.... its so very hard to know just exactly WHAT to do because you've never been in this siduation before and have no experience to draw upon....   But you have !
when he got sick as a child you took care of him right ?
he's sick now just in a diferent way.
...
I say sick because its "Not the NORM" of our socioty... so by Socioty's standards hes ILL
...Some would say thats a good thing and I'ed tend to agree ...<grin> However its not a good thing for the Kid.... it may well be a Phase he is going through YOU HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING....so you more or less have to treet it as such...
....
You expect too much Mom.... ofcorse he will denie that he has never thought of being a girl.... even though that may well be true...  you cannot accept that the first time around.   after about 6 such talks you might get him to open up ...maybe, maybe not.
when he denies being excited by the clotheing you know already that is a lie or why would he be doing it ? ... I can think of only 2 things that would drive him to do such things... inside he is a girl and wants to be one on the outside as well, or the clotheing turns him on...
  the one may not effect the other in this case and they could be miles appart...meaning
one or the other but I realy doubt both !
....
I'm Not a doctor of anything , or an experienced person with TS ishues, I am just some guy who's Kid happens to be a Male to female Transexual... in the process of transisioning .  I speak of my Kid as She because She wishes it and out of respect.
My Kim is so very inteligent that she has earned my respect many years ago and continues to do so. She knows full well what she is in for and has the guts and fortitude to do it
.... I do not know if I could say the same for my self if the places were reversed.
its extreamily hard not to admire that kind of detication, in anyone yet alone your own kid ! <GRIN>
....
I do not for the life of me understand Crossdressing. and if that is what you have there and it is sounding more and more like it ... chances are letting it Blow over is a good idea and things will get back to normal... though cloths will continue to be missing.
.... I don't know what to tell you if he's a crossdresser, that is not Transexual
I've no idea what to tell you then.
  I do think its safe to say what ever the case seeing a theropest is a darn good idea!
but you don't know what your dealing with yet...so bide your time , gain his confidence
and get the info out of him that you need to help him.
at this point in time thats what I'ed do if I were in your shoes !
....
My 2 coppers for what its worth ! <GRIN>
...
Bob......

Quote from: Bob on December 23, 2006, 09:23:38 AM

Quote from: Kimberly on December 22, 2006, 02:25:11 PM
For what little it is worth,

I concur with the say first idea come to think of it, HOWEVER, what cracked my shield and broke me was realizing both that there were (truly) others and that the it was TREATABLE.  Mostly that it was treatable. That I did not have to suffer in silence something could be done.  Until that time, I did my best to not let anyone know. I was a boy and that was that. ... If only it was that easy, heh.  I.e. past actions are not indicative.

Indeed Kim...
You indeed showed only slight signs of something being odd... the rest of your life had actually been exemplary, the perfect Son so to speek, but that was then and this is now.
though I can look back in our past and find little signs of your condition it never dawned upon me that it was more than a prefrence, You liked girls so I figured that some day nature would take its corse and grab you and you'ed say "WOW hay lady come here ! or something hehehehe" 
...
but that is past now and your future is ahead... you no longer need to live in aggony or dispair, the changes you want so desperately will come in time, you just have to be tough and wait it out ! its not a fast proccess when your "poorer than church mice" but it is still possable and we will get there eventually ... just haing in there Kiddo ! <GRIN>
....
Through Kim I have learned so much about this ailment and about life in general, I wouldn't trade My Kim for anyother kid out there...She is and continues to be truly a blessing !
....

Bob........

I'm lost for words, Bob.  What a beautiful post! You have a golden heart, sir!




tinkerbell

Tinkerbell !
there you are ! where have you been hideing ? ain't seen you post in a while
hope all is ok with you and yours !
...
  Ahhh, its not so much to post what you truly feel, its the truth ! <GRIN>
...
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all ! Officially now ! we made it through another year ! WOOOHOOO !
hehehehe
Bob.......

Mom, you've been just wonderful though I'm sure it's a tough time for you also.  Your child obviously isn't ready to open up completely but little by little the lines of communication are broadening.  Things will only get better from here because you're there keeping the door open.

When I read your last post I remembered back when I was 14 and thought how I would have acted if I had that talk with my mom.  I'm sure the information I shared would have been very carefully worded.  I know I wouldn't have told her everything.  I would have been too embarassed.  The insecurities of a typical 14 year old are very debilitating.  And we all learn very early on that once the words pass the lips they cannot be taken back. 

This is such a grossly misunderstood condition that even those who live it are often confused.  We are taught one thing but feel another.  We know in our heart we are good but society teaches us these feelings we have are bad.  So we question ourselves and beat ourselves up.  After all, it has to be our fault, right?  We're the ones with these feelings and desires and we're wrong to act on them or even allow ourselves to think them.  We become our own worst enemy and all it takes is to share this with someone who confirms these negative thoughts we have about ourselves and down we go.  Half a century later I'm still struggling with them.

You're doing a great job with how you're handling this delicate time in your child's life.  It will only strengthen the bond you already have.  Your child is lucky to have such a wonderful mother.

Julie

Hi Mom:

I know that this is a difficult time for you.  But I am so glad that your son has you as a Mom and an ally.  For me I am glad that this is now "out in the open" and that people are aware and are not so scared of TS issues.  Slowly the education is happening.

Keep that door open Mom, no matter what your son does or says.  Him knowing that the door is always open will be a great comfort to him, because one day he will step through it knowing that you will help him through all of this.

You are a good person Mom.

Gill

Quote from: LynnER on December 25, 2006, 02:50:49 PM
When I was a teenager my father caught me dressing...... He had me by my neck and pressed against the wall, feet dangeling....

Do you WANT to be a girl!!! Do you WANT to take hormones!!! Wear a dress!!.... and he kept the questions going like that for a few minuts....  I was beyond Terrified.... I answered to the negitive on everything (Though I desporatly wanted to scream yes)  Fear drove me into depression, and I purged... got rid of everything... I ofcorse relapsed, but durring my time of hardcore denial of myself...
I played with boys toys... paintball and all that stuff (I didnt have much in the way of playthings as a child so *shrugs* I started a rockband...  I took to wearing all black.  Everyone asked whose funeral I was going to or who I war mourning. Id never answer but here it is.  Myself.  I turned into a hardcore guy, noone ever clocked the idea that I was TS... Noone even though I could possably be gay... nothing.
It took years to undo the damage caused that afternoon.....

When you approach your child, understand there will be fear there, and that fear can be a poison. Take caution and be gental.  Dont hold your child up to the wall by there neck... Give them a chance to runaway and think, to escape if they need to.....  Your child, despite what they are or are going through will thankyou for that consideration....

Hope that helps some.....

LynnER,  Unfortionately Fathers are apt to do just exactly what your father did, thinking that is best for the Kid, no realy ! scare the Sh-- out'a them and make them think twice !....... think about it, it worked didn't it ? you reverted back for a while. the problem
wasn't that your father Did the wrong thing ( of corse he did) but that he missunderstood the problem... as most fathers STILL DO ! .... remember back then phisycal punnishment was the norm for dissobediance to your parrents.... you didn't take out the trash on time ,you got scolded, you didn't do it again you got your butt spanked.... back in those days that was "HOW YOU RAISED A KID !"  it was the only way known to most way back then.
.... this doesn't Justify his actions, but puts them in a different light... He did what He thought was best for you.... it doesn't matter that it may well have been out of anger or flustration, thats besides the point... the act of scareing you half to death was the desired outcome ! ...
I had one such lesson tought to me when I was about 5 years old that I remember vividly to this day,  I was playing in the house throwing my rubber knife arround and I threw it through the bay window in the front room.... I was amazed, it was a rubber knife ! its not supposed to break glass, but it certainly did.... well, mom pattled my butt and when Dad got home he paddled my butt too.... and said not to do it again or else !...
well I was a obstinate kid, or Brat if you prefure the word ... and the day after the very expensive window was replaced, My mother told me I couldn't do something i wanted to do so I went to my bedroom grabbed the rubber knife and threw it through the front window AGAIN on purpose this time !.... Needless to say My but was sore from just Momm'a paddeling, but when Daddy got home I was scared stiff.... he sat me down on the chair in the kitchen and was so mad he could barely speak.... his face was red with anger and he had his hands on the back of another kitchen chair.... when he finally got arround to asking WHY I told him because Momm'a wouldn't let me do such and such... and before my eyes my father bent the back of the kitchen chair..... only superman could do that !
and I knew my father was strong but i didn't know he was that strong !  I was soscared I was looking for a place to run to .... crying because I knew my goose was cooked and there was no way out and I brought it on myself ! .... My father walked out because he couldn't spank me that time... he was just too mad and had no control left... he was very smart! he would have killed me with one hit.  however Momm'a came in with the belt and spanked my but till I was numb.... I never threw anything through the front window again !..... I learned my lesson !
  But some times it takes such drastic measures to get your kids to tow the line....
My father told me one time , "As long as I'm your Father and You live under my Roof You will do things as I SAY ! ....there is no debate, there is no if ands or but's its MY way or the Highway!.... do you understand?"
    And I did understand.... that is just how it was!   And Oddly enough I don't consider myself raised by Abusive parrents at all, because those "Lessons " were far and few between.... but extreamily memorable ! .... because they were Supposed to be !
....
  That is how you raised Kids way back then, Now that I'm in my 50's I realise it wasn't such a good setup, but it was the way everyone did it at the time ....
You see that A parrent Could be Mad at you and punnish you and the method of the teaching was not in what they were thinking at the time but in the spanking of the disobediant child.... the physical punishment was in and of itself the answer to the problem....   we know NOW that it is not , but back then it was... so it was OK to spank your kid!

IN raiseing My Kid I started doing it the same way my father did for me , spanking....
till one day I new I needed to spank the kid for not cleaning his room like I told him a dozen times to do and he just ignored me.... and I was about to and I looked into his eyes and said you know whats wrong don't you? he said yes , i said what ? he said I havn't cleaned my room. I said thats right , what do you think I should do about it spank you or give you one more chance to clean the room, he said give me one more chance, I said but I gave you many chances to do it already and you havn't done it, why would I believe that your going to do it now ?  and he looked into my eyes and I could see the light come on inside there as if to say "OH....thats why !"   I almost burst out laughing
but it was a serious moment and that would never have done, I said ok go clean your room  if its not clean in an hour you will get the spanking of your life...you understand , he said yes, and took off to his room.... and started throwing stuff all over.....obviously
adjated.....  i let that continue for a while then went in and asked if he needed some help and he said "Yes please"....
so I helped him clean his room but in the proccess I explained why he had to do what I told him to do, and that when he was out on his own he could do what he wanted , but as long as he was under my roof he had to obay my rules....
that was the the last time I had to spank him simply  explaining to him was sufficient
but up to that point it wasn't ... I had to paddle his onery butt many times.
I explained that I didn't want to spank him but he left me no choice,  that day it seamed to click... and I never had to spank him again !  believe me that made a big diference ! that was so long ago even the cars were diferent ! HAHHAHA
  Times CHANGE, thank goodness !  And when My Kid said to me that She was TS I thought maybe this is a time for more spanking ! , or worse, and Knock some sense into him....
that was my first thought.... but I looked into thos eyes and realised that She was as serious as a hart attack, I knew that physical punnishment wasn't the answer here eather... but Believe me I considered it ! for a cupple of days ! all the while Kim was educateing me as fast as she could....and when the lights went on inside my head we were both relieved ! heheheheh
   Being a Parent is not an easy job, it takes insight that alot of people lack the ability to judge the siduation and make good desigions for your child. some parents are great at it some are just plane lousie at it. but it takes all kinds to make a world !
LynnER, Don't hate your Father for his actions that day, as he only did what came natural, what any father would have done in that day and age....  if he still to this day doesn't understand then your only hope is educating him so he can see... though likely he has closed off that avanew, it is his lack of understanding that is the problem, not you!
....
hope that gives some insight into how things were... and personally I hope those days stay in the past ! <GRIN>
....
C ya
Bob.......

Hello mom!
I'm single with no children or ever having been married.
My insight is closely in line with everyone elses posts.  I'll only add:
I do not think assumptions of any kind should be made.
I think your child can give the answers to his/her own plight provided he/she is in  an atmoshpere where they can actually translate what is going on in their own head.
There lies the confusing part.  When i was young i was scared, no not scared PETRIFIED of releasing any sort of information or feelings.  tidbits would come out but i think based on that people made assumptions as to what was "wrong" with me when there was technically nothing wrong with me emotionally, physically the body of course is wrong....
I remember the crying rambling session i had with the first therapist i had (and no he was a loser after all that anyway- so was the second and thrid and fourth and fifth) and how some of that stuff pouring out of me may have sounded?
you sound like you are trying and that is important.
I personally dislike promises.  I mean in promising someone something you may very well not be able to hold to.  I would of rather had my parents or family said "I'll Try"... cause having said that i would not have been devistated when they basically then turned their backs on me support wise when things got harder and tougher....  Lots of stuff going on and it sounds like you got your hands very very full. 
You mentioned his/her mom?  Are you a step mom?  Is it your boyfriends son?  Or is it your natal born?  If so how well are all the parties doing with this or are you the only one trying?
It seems to me the fact that he/she is showing and exposing so much says a lot?  When i was 14 i hid everything to a desperation level?  Wondering why he's so brash about exposing the purse, sex-toy (very interesting?), clothes?  Definately the therapy thing is a great idea.  Ntohing is ever easy huh?
hope you do well and hope to see your progress posted if you stay around
Good luck'
hug
ricki

Quote from: Cindi Jones on December 21, 2006, 11:57:43 AM
dtsalkire,

You did ask about what he is feeling... and I will address that part of your question.  There is obviously a great conflict in his mind about his gender.  I know, because I did similar acts when I was his age.  He has this thing in his mind, running like a freight train out of control, pushing him to do anything to make him feel female.  His actions stem from the fact that there is no relief for these desparate feelings that never go away.  It is a hunger that is never satisfied.  It is a mountain of frustration filled with desires he feels can never be quelled.  It runs through every waking thought and most every dream he can remember.  There is nothing more important to him.  His desire to be female has become only purpose for existence.

He may feel that he is a pervert and have suicidal thoughts.  He knows he does not fit into society.  He is incredibly lonely and secretive in his desires. This drive will at times make him incredibly self centered and withdrawn.  Selfish acts are common and secretive. He may appear to be hateful or become spiteful.  Anything to become female feels justified.  Anything preventing him from finding a way to be a girl will be despised.

...that's the best description of the feelings of being transsexual I've ever seen. Especially the part " S/he's desire to be male/female has become s/he's only purpose for existance." That's very true for me, especially when I get suicidal.

Quote from: Bob on January 01, 2007, 06:16:13 PM
  Times CHANGE, thank goodness !  And when My Kid said to me that She was TS I thought maybe this is a time for more spanking ! , or worse, and Knock some sense into him....
that was my first thought.... but I looked into thos eyes and realised that She was as serious as a hart attack, I knew that physical punnishment wasn't the answer here eather... but Believe me I considered it ! for a cupple of days ! all the while Kim was educateing me as fast as she could....and when the lights went on inside my head we were both relieved ! heheheheh

Bob, your post literally brought tears to my eyes. 

Melissa

Melissa, Sorry about that, that wasn't my intention, i dislike "Downers" I try to be up lifting when i get a chance <GRIN>
but the thing that bothers me Gal, is that If I can understand.... Me a Regular guy, messed up in many ways just like everyone else in this world, IF I can understand, why can't your folks ?  to me it just doesn't make sense !
i mean I am no rocket scientest, or intelectual genious by any means... infact I have hurd it said that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed ! to put it politely <grin>  yet I understand the problem, and your folks and others like them don't , or perhaps a better word for it is WON'T... not that they don't understand but that they just don't want to !
... perhaps that is the answer, i dunno ... but darn it, if I can see it why can't they?  its flustrateing !
Yet You and Others like you keep on chugging anyway !  You are an insperation to all of us Melissa  Haing in there !
...
Bob.......

Hi Bob,
I realize that you understand and they don't and I really wish they did.  I mean I do miss them and it does hurt.  I tried all I could to educate until they stopped listening to me.  I know they miss me too, as I have had some of my spies inform me, but I just don't know why they can't see what I'm telling them might <gasp> actually be the truth.

Melissa