Quote from: Snoeball on January 12, 2011, 09:55:13 PM
As much as I love ruffles and lace and dresses, they just make my physical form look more unattractive so they are out of question, and I'd rather look 'ok' and deal with not dressing super feminine then end up wearing clothes that make me look awkward due to my features. I wonder if any of you have felt anything similar?
I really haven't felt anything like that at all, though I can remember when I strongly opposed wearing dresses thinking that a sundress and those sequined gowns are the only available dresses for me. Over time my friend showed me that I could still wear dresses without compromising my identity as an individual and felt a little bit more comfortable with those types of clothes. I think in that sense you just have to have feedback and figure out how the clothes work. There's a reason why women have more of a selection of clothes than men, and that's because women come in different shapes and sizes and stores need to cater to all those - hence, more clothes.
Quote from: Snoeball on January 12, 2011, 09:55:13 PM
Now I dress to look nice with things that flatter me, instead of dress to look 'female' (which I didn't look btw) with things that looked strange on my physique.
This is kind of how I am right now. I go to both aisles for men and women when I shop and think of my wardrobe at home. Though when I shop I assign a "gender value" to each piece and imagine how I can feminize or masculanize (is this even a word?) it. If I can work with it, I buy it. I think it's good that you have a sense of what will look good on you, but you might need to experiment on it more.
Quote from: Snoeball on January 12, 2011, 09:55:13 PM
I get this as well somehow... Although I really don't understand it. For me it's mostly due to having zero chance of passing when wearing really 'girly' clothing, and at least a *little* chance when looking androgynous. At least that's the way I see it =/
Maybe you're just more comfortable looking androgynous and some of your feminine characteristics are actually let out instead of worrying about how you look? I know for a fact that your view of yourself affects your behavior outside (this is a constant for anybody, not just trans people) so maybe all this worrying is inhibiting your behavior in some way.
Passing, to me, is an average accepted standard that a segment of society expects for a particular gender to present themselves. Keep in mind that it's an average, meaning not everyone will have the same standard. With this in mind, my observations of society's average standards of a female are quite simple: Long hair, an appearance of a shapely body, and a protruding chest area. Once these are "violated" in some ways, it becomes more difficult to guess the gender of said person (i.e. overweight and underweight people, people with long hair, clothes or clothes combinations that provide a shapely figure).
And no, I don't advocate starving yourself or overeating to break these rules.