I went out last night for some supper at the pub where I am a regular customer.  It's nice there a place where "Everybody knows your name"   I was standing at one of the table with some other customers chatting away, enjoying the company.  After i finished supper a woman came over and stood beside me.  We're acquaintances and we've chatted before, but this time the first words out of her mouth were "You know you are a gorgeous woman but you've got to stop slouching your shoulders all the time".  I had to agree with her I do tend to slouch my shoulders forward, I think it's a bad habit I developed over the years of trying to hide breasts that I wasn't supposed to have had.  She said "Be proud stand up straight with your shoulders back, you've got it so flaunt it".  I all most thought that she was a drill instructor from my army days ha, ha.

But it was strange and it left me wondering if she knew about "me" as although I know that women often complement each other on the way we look such as "I love your hair" or "I love those shoes", this was the first time that I heard of anyone correcting someone and lord know I need correcting at times

Strange.

Steph

With me, it was my girlfriend who kept telling me, "Robyn, you don't open doors.  Men open doors."

I am much better about it, after all these years.  Even men at work, who knew me back when, open doors for me.  Took them awhile, too.

Robyn

Hi there:

I went to a conference last year and the one bit of advice that has stuck with me is this;

"Your inner world creates your outer world...if your inner world is chaos then so will your outer world be chaos"

Remember that..so walk tall, be confident in yourself.  If your inner world is walking tall and feeling confident, then that is what others will read.  I know this sounds corny but it is really true.

Gill

Quote from: Gill on January 28, 2007, 07:52:51 PM

"Your inner world creates your outer world...if your inner world is chaos then so will your outer world be chaos"

I love that quote.

I created more chaos here at work today. I have already had two cries and I am sure more will follow. Now I know why - my inner world is just so wrong.

Alice

Quote from: reikirobyn on January 28, 2007, 05:19:05 PM
With me, it was my girlfriend who kept telling me, "Robyn, you don't open doors.  Men open doors."

I am much better about it, after all these years.  Even men at work, who knew me back when, open doors for me.  Took them awhile, too.

Robyn

I found it to be a two way thing, as soon as I started handing the guys i live with jars to open ect they started holding doors open for me and taking stuff off me when i'm obviously struggling to carry it, I thought I'd have that kind of thing but honestly I don't mind.

Quote from: Steph on January 27, 2007, 07:36:52 PM
I went out last night for some supper at the pub where I am a regular customer....

Thanks for the post. Cool. And did you know they don't recommend you sit up straight anymore? It's strains the back out of its normal shape, so they're saying slouching the back a little is ok, just don't slouch too far so you can't stand up straight. Slouching your shoulders though, indicates the muscles are holding them back sufficiently, especially if they slouch when you stand up. A few exercise can keep the muscles fit to hold the shoulders  back.

Steph,

Go to some Pilates classes if you have some in your area.

They will improve your posture.

Buffy

Quote from: Buffy on January 29, 2007, 09:02:15 AM
Steph,

Go to some Pilates classes if you have some in your area.

They will improve your posture.

Buffy

Now thats an idea

Steph

Quote from: Gill on January 28, 2007, 07:52:51 PM
Hi there:

I went to a conference last year and the one bit of advice that has stuck with me is this;

"Your inner world creates your outer world...if your inner world is chaos then so will your outer world be chaos"

Remember that..so walk tall, be confident in yourself.  If your inner world is walking tall and feeling confident, then that is what others will read.  I know this sounds corny but it is really true.

Gill

I like Gill's way, rather than pilates. I don't bend like that, never did.
Sheila

We're trying to get mentoring happening in SGA (Sacramento Gender Association), and this is one of those things that good mentors need to do.

Saturday Night was SGA's Fourth Saturday Out.  I sat next to Amy (GG, good friend of Marlene,) who complimented me on my clothing, saying, "Your choice of clothing and how you wear it has really improved over when you started." --  which implies that my initial choices were not that good. <sigh>

But, it's words I need to hear.  And I want/need to hear much more.  So do most of us, T-Guys included.

But how do you present the negative information in a way that's palatable?  I think mentoring will help, because the mentor-ee is more receptive to unflattering-but-constructive criticism in that semi-formal environment.

But what do you do if you don't have that resource in your environment?  In your case, Steph, you cherish those bits that come in 'over the transom', so to speak.  I'd be trying to cultivate that person a bit more, too... 

But, that's just me 

Karen

P.S., I'm taking Dance Fitness once a week, for the same reasons others suggested Yoga or Pilates