A man walks into a bar... ouch.
Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted.
A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll ya have?" The duck says, "I'll have a grape." The bartender says, "I don't have grapes." The duck says, "Ok!" then gets up and leaves. The next day, the duck walks into the same bar and the bartender says, "What'll ya have this time?" The duck says, "I'll have a grape." The bartender says, "I told you yesterday I don't got no damn grapes. Next time you ask, I'm nailing your bill to the counter." The duck says cheerfully, "Ok!" then gets up and leaves. The next day, the duck walks into the bar and the bartender asks, teeth clenched, "What do you want?" The duck says, "Do you have a nail?" The bartender says, "No I don't have any nails." The duck replies, "Ok! I'll have a grape."