I'm not talking about the changes from HRT but after the decision to go on them.

I begin meeting with a GT tomorrow. Since I have made this decision I've found my head has been cleared and I've been peaceful. Making this decision has weighed on my mind for years (as I'm sure you're all aware.)

I was just wondering who else had this clarity?

i can relate. i've had experiences like that before where you finally release a heavy burden. since transitioning, i'm starting to feel similar to how i did back when i was a child. it's the weirdest thing, but my minds been so burdened by this for a long time. it started getting pretty bad when i was 12. i feel like i'm being born again, literally.

A BIG weight lifted and my head was a lot more clear after getting appointments set up.  But now its about waiting for HRT. XD

All of the above.

When I made the decision to do it, it felt right. To receive the prescriptions felt better. Having taken them, I did not look back except to praise myself for making the decision. If you understand the course you are taking and believe it to be right, and it is right, you will not regret it. I have no real idea, just an opinion, but I think that if it is wrong for you, you will feel that and stop. IMO.

Susan Kay

Feelings of peace, angst falling away- these things mean you're making the right choice(s) with your life.  Congrats on finding your path .

Quote from: Jen on May 09, 2011, 11:27:53 PM
Feelings of peace, angst falling away- these things mean you're making the right choice(s) with your life.  Congrats on finding your path .

Thank you. I really can't wait for tomorrow. I've never opened up to someone face to face before.

Transition is very much like a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is the single most rewarding process that one can go through ifit is right. Congrats

I've been happy ever since I decided to start HRT and elated ever since I started. It feels like walking on sunshine, literally.

Right now (pre-transition and pre-coming out) my mind is constantly buzzing. I honestly fear my worry will never go away. And very frustratingly I go through periods where my mind is tricking me and making me doubt my identity. All the signs points to being trans and I feel this way 100% in my heart.. My often my head gets in the way and makes me question the smallest things. Sometimes it's crystal clear who I am and other times I'm just an upset mess.

I honestly hope I gain clarity when I come out.. 

Exactly the same feeling I felt...   I was going into my final semester of school, needing to finish my thesis, apply to grad schools, taking another class on top of that, and working about 35 hours per week.  What I realized at the beginning of August was that I wasn't going to have the mental willpower to get it all done without starting HRT because that voice telling me to start HRT would drown out my concentration.  Admittedly, I have no concentration as it is. 

I weighed the benefits of HRT with the possibility that cognitive changes (such as emotions) might also hinder my efforts, but it turns out that being on HRT was what I needed to calm that raging voice and finish my work.

At the end of the semester I got confirmation that my mental calm was pretty much a placebo effect: I had no body changes and my T levels were 650, which means the HRT regimen I'd been on that semester didn't physically work.   My doc changed it up and it works very well now, but I can attest to the mental calmness that comes with simply knowing you're taking the right steps in your life.

wow yeah im going through that at the moment as i play the waiting game to get towards hrt

its a sense of moving forwards when ive been still for so long

I was going to post this on the Therapy board but since this is my topic, I'll post it here.

I just finished my first ever therapy session. It felt great. I feel a burden off my shoulders and we have note even begun to scratch the surface. Safe. Non-judgmental.

I can't wait for my next session.
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To keep with the topic going, last night, I had so many crazy dreams. I woke up at one point, confused. I know it had something to do with my appointment today. Although I don't remember the exact dreams, I know it had something to do with me changing.