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I feel for you sis, wish I was closer to help.
As a parent I cannot understand how anyone could do what they have done.  Maybe if one of mine was a child molester or drug dealer, but coping with a medical condition?  They sound like people who you deserve to be well clear of.
I find that if I speak  softer, and a bit huskier,(easy with my sinus problems), I pass a bit better too.
  Hope things look up soon. Have you tried the Salvation Army or similar yet?

Karen.

*big squeezy hug*

You're never alone, no matter how much you feel like it sometimes.

I'm really sorry to hear all of this is happening I'd definitely offer to help you out if you lived in this area.

I think you must be an incredibly strong person. A real survivor. I think you are a beautiful woman too.

My thought is something you need to develop is your support networks.  Work out what organisations are out there that can help you, keep in touch with those that care for you.

Hugs!

I admire you for going through this and still standing up.

As it was said, work on your support networks as much as possible, try to find a job asap and never close your heart to your family even if they closed it to you. One day they wil come around and accept you back, no matter how hopeless it seens now.

I wish you the best.

Building a good support system as mentioned by others is a must, it will go a long ways toward helping. You've got a good online support system right here, but if all possible try to build one up locally.

I'm sorry that you are going through such a rough patch, my heart absolutely breaks for you after reading what you put down. Can only imagine what you are going through.

You are a strong woman for being able to still be standing after all of it and you should take comfort in that.

My only advice to you other than building up the support system is this:

Never under any circumstances give up on yourself, you can and will get to where you want to be.. this is simply a bump in the road.

You mention possible future relocation, I'm in Missouri and feel I need to get out from here as well... I'm looking at Portland Oregon for various reasons, but most notably because it's a rather trans friendly place. Just something to consider, although as a caveat of sorts the job market's really bad there.

I wish you nothing but the best and am always here if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to send me a private message or to add me on facebook if you are on there... the link is in my profile.

Take care of yourself and know that you are loved here.

That's...really rough.  I can too easily forget that people can be just that horrible...One thing is that you need to figure out what you can do locally before you figure out what to do not-so-locally.  I really don't know how the supports you get mean for income, so I'd suggest figuring out a housing fix.  Once you're secure in that, try to get your car fixed up.  That way, you'll have shelter, which is important for health, and you'll have transportation, which pretty much acts cornerstone in this society... ;.;
After that, figure out what options you have left and research...it's a big thing of starting at the center and moving out. ^^

Hi Sarah! Let me say firstly, you are super cute 

I'm so so sorry to hear about what's going on things like this just make me want to take a person in and let them get themselves together. I have said before, I would love to start a trans rooming/support home for people like us when we have nowhere else to go. My heart hurts to think of all the girls and guys that are worse of than I am that I would love to help but can't.

A lot of my family and friends have completely stopped talking to me as well, and others refuse to use the right name/pronouns. In their place, however, I have met some wonderful people (both trans and not) that do respect me and accept me as I am. I really hope that you can find some people, at least one or two, that you can talk to and lean on and get some sort of emotional/moral support from. I, and others here can and will offer as much help and support as we can as well.

Hugs and best of luck! 

here is a foundation that may be able to help
http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/

Hi Natalie,

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, I have no idea how people can be so evil.

I'm hoping you can find support from a friend nearby or someone who can help you get back on your feet.  That person would be me if I weren't several thousand miles away.

Thinking of you from across the globe.

Siobhan xxx

Natatlie, let's think in a straightforward manner about survival.

You need first of all shelter and food.

So do everything you can to get a stable roof and food. Even if you have to live instinctively. Find shelter and food and a decent supply of food.

Shut off any thoughts about your family if you can, dress as a guy if you must so you don't run the risk of violence and focous on your immediate needs.

Find a job, you really need to find a job. Find people who are trans-friendly and may help you. Focus. Don't let thoughts of rejection disturb you from your main needs. You need shelter and food, and a job. Remember this and do everything you can to achieve it. Live as a guy if you must, who cares.

Stay away from your family even if they get violent towards you.

Once you have shelter, food and a job if I was in your place I'd begin saving money to move. Living in a very conservative region ins't going to be easy for you. But this would be the next step once you are somewhat safe.

Keep your head up and never quit.

If you could get up to Chicago, we have resources and places to turn. The Center on Halsted and Howard Brown Center would be a place to start. I know someone at COH who I could connect you to. If you're in the city, you also won't have the need for a car. This could save you money. We also have legal protections in place throughout the city and state. I'm sure Amtrak goes from IN to Chicago, too.

Good luck. It does get better!

I'll tell you the truth.

You look amazing.

Beleive me when I say that you are not the first, many of us have gone through similar times. That doesn't really help you much right now, but knoing that, with thought and careful planning, you can pick up again.

Quote from: SarahElls on June 11, 2011, 03:37:48 PM
unfortunately, depression has really taken over at this point, I cant get myself to leave the room, social anxiety is off the scale.  Not sure what Im going to do, but feel like I'm losing it

Please, hang in there. I've come within days of being homeless. It's a frightening thing. But you have to be strong. *warm hug*

You are gorgeous.

I'm sending you a pm

Cindy

If you were me (don't take my advice unless you're me)

I would totally erase my parents off my memory, and then go dating online, find a guy who loves me. Then move in with him (so I wouldn't be homeless), and then through that improve myself and transition somehow. Just erase them, everything, and bring your self-confidence up by yourself. People will love and accept, support you, and not everyone is awful as your parents.

But you're not me so I don't think this applies.

I'm a risk-taker... but I open up 3-4 dating profiles for this EXACT reason, since I had no money... and I wanted a guy. So, in May when I was more fatasy-view of my life I wanted any guy I could get, so I had like over 60 guys offering me a nice home in California, nice condo, nice yacht, traveling, blah blah blah you name it I had it offer. From the weirdest to the most fantastic, BDSM-slavery to the Netherlands, from CEO to guitar guy traveling on the road, from a record deal guy to a theater guy in NY.... so many guys so little time, but all awesome. (over the span of time)

But then coming down to reality, I had to do college, and I have it for free in my state, so I decided, "I have to go find a guy in my state...ehhhh". So I went to a more mutual dating profile (my other sites were houseboy.com, houseboi.com, and one I don't want to mention lol)... so I just got this guy thinking I am the one... tonight actually. So now I won't be homeless, he makes 2500 off some pension (400 goes to his rent), and he will use the rest to buy us food/clothing/little fun. He's not a rich guy, by no means, but I am going to be treated well, taken care of, and he knows how to treat me like a woman (even if he doesn't know this).

The reason I like him a lot, since he really cares about me, and I will really care about him too. I might grow to love him, but I rather not unless he's the one. He was married for over 20 years to a woman, and so that rubbed off him obviously, he said "I'll take you out and buy us dinner". And I said, "I'll pay half", and he was like, "No you're my date, I'll pay for it". (I love this by the way)...

So I feel like I found a good guy who might love me.

~~~

Now what I recommend for you is not this ^ Even though it works for me. But don't go homeless though that's really tough. I would focus on daddyhunt.com, since that's where I found my man... but you're now a transsexual woman? So hmmm... I don't know really. But this is my experience.

I never was abused by men so I don't have a clue... all I ever received from men (gay men) was love and adoration. I had good relationships with all the men I ever meet. But this is the riskiest thing of my life... trying to make a man fall in love with me is tough, but can be done in 1 day. I do it all the time.... so many times I had guys saying, "You're the one for me, and I am so glad I met you. You're so beautiful" I don't know, guess it's magical typing skills.

But, I am also repressed with me, since I still have my virginity... shockingly I do. And I am now ready to go for  a full-fledge relationship, and if I lose it then it will be with someone who loved me at the time period.

Do you really want to be reliant on someone else's continued affection and generosity in order to simply live your life?

Quote from: Sephirah on June 12, 2011, 04:50:01 AM
Do you really want to be reliant on someone else's continued affection and generosity in order to simply live your life?

It doesn't bother me. I'm doing this because I want love too, and he wants love. So it's a win-win situation.

Plus I need a place to go for college, and I don't want to be living with my parents (hell no). But I have no money right now to spend, I'm broke, and I just lost my job.

But I want a man, in all honesty... so it's my choice. I'm not crying on the streets homeless, or worrying about the rent being paid. When others are stressing about the next bill, I'm in the couch with a guy I like a lot watching a movie, and he's attractive to me. Like I said, you have to be me to do this. As long as I go to college, i figure I'll be fine.