I guess for so long I always saw tons of people online and even right in my own town have surgery and I was always down about it because it just seemed so unreachable for me. I was in debt, moved cities, lost my FT status at a job, had to juggle a new FT job, and still work PT and also worked at home. And I had an insanely large chest to bind and I looked at so many people who just made it seem like it was so easy for them. That happened while my twin sister had a baby and everyone gave her tons of money to buy a house and made her seem like she is the only mature one who needs help and I just needed to grow up and stop creating my own problems for myself. Now since I had surgery I am surrounded by people who I can't run around and shout it out to because I am not out here. People here just think I had some sort of mysterious surgery. That is the only reason I recently shared my story and posted pictures because I know what it is like to feel like it might not happen. And I think it is important for people not to give up hope. If I ever came across as rubbing it in I didn't mean to, since it was posted recently I thought I would say something just in case.

Wise words Jenny, wise words.
Let's be happy and supporting eachother.
I know your feelings honey, I had them too.
I hope your situation will change.

love or aloha
annette

Speaking as one stuck in limbo, neither fish nor fowl as it were, I must at least slightly disagree.

I find a robust dialogue does no one any real harm, and is a good way for someone like myself to clarify my thoughts, and come to firmer, and better grounded resolutions. 

An over degree of sensitivity, at least for me, doesn't help it just reinforces a deeply held belief that I really don't belong anywhere, while criticisms, even though they may result in bruised feelings from time to time,  engender a sense of belonging.

That's my two cents on the subject.

Ok, so let me be the first one to say
CONGRATULATIONS to Myself!    for managing my disphoria for all these years and still being able to find away to be happy! LOL
Seriously though, it can be both very frustrating or exhilarating hearing about other people's transitions. There are somedays when I have to pull my hand away from clicking the mouse to order hormones on-line, but hearing of others who have not transitioned makes me feel more normal. Make sense? Then there are those days when you see someone who has transitioned and its like know a relative who won the lottery.
So CONGRATULATIONS to EVERYONE for getting through another day!

I'm sorry and i apologize to everyone for using the board to vent frustration and mostly lunatic ramblings

I have learned that over time if I let myself become myself I will.    Even if I am blind to it myself.      Over time I have found myself becoming more and more effeminate because that is who I am.     I just have to accept myself and not be afraid to be myself.    I have been visiting Susan's for a very long time and I have seen you'all becoming.   Everyone here is doing an extremely good job of it.    And so am I.   Keep up the good work, and be happy.   Stressing oneself out does not do a body good.   I am the queen of that. 

Thanks for all of your support over the years.   Luv you all.

Firstly Tekla what's with the weird quoting style of italics completely irritating m'kay?

Quote from: tekla on March 15, 2011, 04:10:50 PM
What?  Is there some zero-sum number of SRS/GRS available?  One person taking the next step (that is right for them) NEVER stops anyone else from taking the steps that are right for them.

Now THIS I completely AGREE with, very well said good sir or is it madam, what is it?

Quote from: tekla on March 15, 2011, 04:10:50 PM
The difference between dreams and reality is that one side often does nothing but dream, while the other group works.

You'd close any non-economical courses at a university or make it a non appetizing prospect for the econonically poor to go there, and thus kill the creativity we all NEED for our prosperity.

Simply put bankers are leeches, not the art student.

Art is the only thing with permanence in this world! And why do we call it the Art of writing. Beauty persists throughout the generations, while finance is forever fleeting!

good sir or is it madam, what is it?
You do realize that that's about the most un-enlightenment statement you can make around here don't you? 

But what's best is "Doctor".  That way its not a self-designated (and what are those worth anyway?) statement, but a designation placed upon me by others, which is much more valid in the real world as it more than adequately reflects what 'others see me as' which is of far more value than than any internal dialog offers.  It's also gender-neutral, which makes it even better as it does even less to answer the original question.

Oh yeah, that 'weird style of quoting" is called formal writing, which was far more important for my generation to learn than apparently it was to yours, so we were taught to write like that.  But the main reason is I don't want to attract more attention to the quote (which is merely my starting place) than to the more important stuff, which is what I'm actually writing.  And by important, I mean what I'm writing and thinking, not what you are simply reading.

Art is the only thing with permanence in this world!
I don't think that 'permanence' is necessary to art.  Most of what I've done in my life is not permanent by any means.  It's all "one night only" and not all nights are equal.

Quote from: tekla on May 24, 2011, 02:14:01 AM
good sir or is it madam, what is it?
You do realize that that's about the most un-enlightenment statement you can make around here don't you? 

I agree. Plus how is that even relevant at all?

What on earth is this thread about?

I hated it the first time around and it has radically altered the way that I operate on this site. Just when I thought that it was done and dusted it seems to have become an excuse to start an argument.

Sensitivity to others? Pah!

Millie,
  We have to reminded of this at times and to others who just joined this forum and to those whom are reliving their adolscence through the treatments they are receiving.  I am lucky that I have the love and respect of my friends and family that others here do not.  I've been through a lot of hell over my dysphoria, as it is called now, for the most part of my 58 years.  Despite that, I had a stint in the Navy, worked for a Fortune 500 company and was awarded regional "Top Gun" several times during my 19 years there.  I had the ups and downs with this condition over this time that I would like to share with others in the same boat. 
  I did not relate to others too well before transitioning, nor gave the proper sensitivity to others when they were down.  I dunno, probably it is the hormones that are changing things here.  I remember my grandma and her generation, born 1900, tell me that if you don't have anything good to say about a person, don't say it!
  Joelene

Nope, you have lost me again!

I know what sensitivity is! I just think that the original thread was very vague and has made me question myself any time I might want to express happiness or excitement on this forum, but cest la vie.

However, the latest installment I have no idea about or how it relates to the original narative, it just seems to be an argument for arguments sake.

Btw Not all of us are fortunate enough to have been voted 'Top Gun'   in anything. I feel bad now!

I would like to start by acknowledging that since I am not transgender this may be none of my business. Still in all, I just had to add this. It is something that I took note of while studying today.

I noticed that sometimes in the Christianity section some that do not believe are very quick to ridicule. I personally do not mind Christian bashing as it does go against what the non believers think when spoken in truth and not twisted into that which makes people happy. But, there are other issues that come into play.

I realize that many have been hurt by churches and so-called Christians. I realize that these so-called Christians have done a mighty fine job of making a mockery of Christianity with no outside help.

Still in all, I do imagine that there are some transgenders out there that rely on their faith to help them in times of trouble. That faith may be the only thing that stops them from committing suicide. Why risk destroying their faith when that may be all that is giving them the strength to live another day?

Slamming Christianity isn't important enough to remove the only hope some may have.

There are plenty of Christian sites out there that the non believers can visit to ridicule those whom believe in the good Lord. On those sites they may not be on the brink of self harm. I am referring to the straight / cisgender sites such as christianet and christianforums and such. These sites are full of arrogant straight and cisgender folk that could probably stand to have their haughty attitudes abased.

From what I see the people on the straight and cisgender sites probably don't have near the problems and likelihood of self harm as the sites that are for the GLBT people. They seem to be the ones that look down their nose at you all. They seem to be the ones that are quick to say you all are going to hell without knowing anything about you.

I just hope that those who do not believe in the good Lord will stop to think before posting contrary to the Christians. I would imagine that it would be the equivalent of you posting about meds, hormones or a favorite doctor or procedure just to have someone ridicule that and try to destroy your hope of transitioning.

As I said, this may be little or none of my business but I personally feel that it is something to think about.

As for me, the Bible says I should consider myself in all things lest I be haughty and fall or bring the problems of others on myself. I would not be considerate of you all or attempting to help by not posting that which I felt I should.

If this has been brought up elsewhere I am sorry for duplicating a concern.

If this offends anyone I am sorry. It was not meant to.

So.  Let me get this right.  You, and your fellow Xians get to write whatever you want about all of this, and people who don't agree with you should not say anything because it could be upsetting to many of those who believe many of which seem to be on a rather slender thread to begin with. 

Slamming Christianity isn't important enough to remove the only hope some may have.
Here's the deal.  I don't think it's hopeless.  I think that for those people in that situation good psychological care and a solid medical diagnosis and treatment offer much better odds of success.  And I don't think anything anyone writes on the web, or in science, or says in any way changes the way anyone feels about god.  That belief is something that an individual can only do themselves.

Quote from: tekla on June 24, 2011, 12:10:45 PM
So.  Let me get this right.  You, and your fellow Xians get to write whatever you want about all of this, and people who don't agree with you should not say anything because it could be upsetting to many of those who believe many of which seem to be on a rather slender thread to begin with. 

Slamming Christianity isn't important enough to remove the only hope some may have.
Here's the deal.  I don't think it's hopeless.  I think that for those people in that situation good psychological care and a solid medical diagnosis and treatment offer much better odds of success.  And I don't think anything anyone writes on the web, or in science, or says in any way changes the way anyone feels about god.  That belief is something that an individual can only do themselves.

First off, I don't think Del advocated being able to say anything without reproach.  I read an impassioned and well-written plea against baselessy denigrating a spiritual path that may provide a great deal of fulfillment and meaning to those who believe.  There are people who profess to be on that path who use that path to attack others, going against the very teachings of Jesus.  Granted, the message is as open to personal interpretation as is any other message, but the fact remains that they give decent followers a bad name by association.  That there are decent followers who are willing to stand up and denounce these charlatans speaks volumes about their characters, and I think Del did just that.

Now as for your second comment, it's spot on: spiritual views are highly personal and not generally open to change by external force.  But the fact is, some bold pioneers in modern psychology have begun to study spirituality and belief as part of mainstream research, something that used to result in expulsion from the field.  It's starting to gain traction as well.  The February (I think it was February) issue of Monitor on Psychology, the official magazine of the APA, devoted half the issue to the role of spirituality in life.  What's being found is that those who have some form of belief, regardless of what that belief is, are generally in better health, better spirits, and have faster recovery times after surgery (among others).  So why disturb their peace by belligerently attacking something that is now being shown to have medically proven benefits?  That's what Del was on to: why attack them for their belief when it can help in immeasurable ways?

And it goes beyond Christianity... why attack anyone for their beliefs so long as they aren't harming others?  And especially if their beliefs mean so much to them.

Jennie, I read you're comments and I wish to say this , I'm a recovering alcoholic and substance abuser from years back . The comments are most welcome . I am one of those who for health reasons had to come off the H R T . I had to do a lot of meditating and deal with a conclusion that I wouldn't be able to fulfill a lot of what many here enjoy. Still, I'm determined to be all that I can, to share and support ALL Transgendered individuals weither they be Crossdressers  , Androginines , Gender Benders , Gay , fetishests or whatever ! hey, I want to do every thing I can to enrich all on this forum . ellen

Wow! So many posts, so many different views! Some I agree with, some I don't And a couple I thought were a bit insensitive. Kind of ironic, given the topic.

"The difference between dreams and reality is that one side often does nothing but dream, while the other group works."

So are you saying that no matter what your obstacles are, you can always overcome them? Wow! I wish I had known that when I was 9 or 10 and under the strict control of my parents.

Had I not had a dream to sustain me for the first 58 years of my life, I doubt I'd have lived long enough to be in a position to take the steps to work to make my dream become a reality.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." --John Lennon.

Quote from: mija on March 16, 2011, 03:41:34 AM
Someone will always be offended, triggered, hurt, nonplussed no matter what is said, or not said.

I fully agree with Mija. If may "good wishes" post offend anybody please feel free to sit on them. Where does stupidity stops.

Kate D

This thread reminds me of college. There people in some of my class who were offended because they could not keep up with the intelligent debate or narrative initiated by your truly. So what it was expected to me was to "play dumb."

As far as any Xtian or religious or not posts, this is a public forum ,if you post your opinions or beliefs be ready to hear dissent, if you post scientific beliefs be prepared to back up your claims with references.

My post above may be consider out of line by some, and I may even get the PM to send me an email "to do better," but it  was my choice of words when I posted, and thus I should be abler to take the good and bad that may come out of it.

Kate D