Quote from: Taka on July 19, 2011, 02:17:06 PM
now i really want my own fiance, sadly the last person i fell in love with wasn't interested in romance *sigh* heart-break without even going out with the person

I totally know what you mean.  I had a lot of those before I met the one who I call 'my cute and fuzzy panda bear.'     Some of those previous loves I still think about and the pain, though small and but a shadow of its previous form, is still there, and maybe always will be.

Quote from: Taka on July 19, 2011, 02:17:06 PM
but that 3rd gender thing, don't you think i could change it to 0th or 666th or something? "3rd" sounds so inferior to the binaries

I think the number 3 is the best number in the world.     So coming from me, it'd be a compliment!

Quote from: Taka on July 19, 2011, 02:17:06 PM
actually, how do you even define 3rd gender..?

Umm...how to describe it...well, the idea of '3rd gender' made sense to me a few minutes ago, but some upsetting stuff just temporarily scrambled my brain, I'd have to get back to you on that.     I'm going to guess 'in-between'?  Something like that?  Maybe?   

Hi Zaida

I'm not projecting a wish upon you.
I am only reacting on what you show to the forum, nothing more, nothing less.
But, i understand that you don't want to hear such comments, even when the intention is good, so i won't say anything about it anymore.

Annette

Quote from: Sage on July 19, 2011, 02:29:37 PM
I totally know what you mean.  I had a lot of those before I met the one who I call 'my cute and fuzzy panda bear.'     Some of those previous loves I still think about and the pain, though small and but a shadow of its previous form, is still there, and maybe always will be.

ah, the pain. i have more than one unrequited love story, and the feelings still linger. i'm now emotionally ready for romance again, wanna find someone else. but i think i'll wait until i figure out what to do about gender issues. i wouldn't wanna start any relationship as something that isn't really me

Quote from: Sage on July 19, 2011, 02:29:37 PM
I think the number 3 is the best number in the world.     So coming from me, it'd be a compliment!

then i'll take it as a compliment :3

Quote from: Sage on July 19, 2011, 02:29:37 PM
Umm...how to describe it...well, the idea of '3rd gender' made sense to me a few minutes ago, but some upsetting stuff just temporarily scrambled my brain, I'd have to get back to you on that.     I'm going to guess 'in-between'?  Something like that?  Maybe?   

your definition works. it's pretty much what i thought when i read your post, but the wiki also include some definitions i don't like so i had to ask

I wish to be seen as myself.  Most of the time that means hoping that people see past my female body and just treat me as a person with no prejudices in their head of how I'm going to act simply because of how I look.  But, I don't know that that's very realistic.

Whenever I was trying to attract a guy, I'd present as more feminine than usual.  I like straight men, I can't help it, it's how I'm wired, and from what I'd seen it always seemed like the girly girls got the guy, so I tried emulating that whenever I'd get a serious crush.

I'd also present rather female whenever I was trying to make a good impression at a job interview.  That's one of the very few cases where I'll wear makeup. The main reason for trying so hard for interviews, however, was not an intent to look female but to look older and I wasn't sure how else to go about it.

I also presented female when I picked up my boyfriend from the airport the first time I actually met him.  He'd seen me in my everyday state several times before over cam, but for some reason I wanted to try hard to look what I thought would be "attractive."  But he's always telling me I look beautiful no matter what I'm wearing... he's probably one of the few I can say looks straight past everything else to who I am.  That's how I'm wishing everyone could see me.

I guess that's what it boils down to for me, though.  I want to seem attractive to those I'm trying to attract and don't know much better than to go for female.

Otherwise, it's t-shirts, jeans, shorts, the random polo shirt, and sometimes unkempt hair, lol.

Quote from: sunny-side on July 19, 2011, 04:39:05 PM
he's probably one of the few I can say looks straight past everything else to who I am.  That's how I'm wishing everyone could see me.

People would be more apt to do just that if androgynes behaved within the social agreements of what good behavior is.
Doing things that are designed to just ->-bleeped-<- with peoples heads acomplishes nothing but a bad impression of all Non-Binary people.

Need to screw up somebodies psyche? how about leaving it to just close friends and family. It's immature in the real world.

And its not just a specific group, but it is something that late teens to early 20's seem to find so funny.

->-bleeped-<-ing up someones Psyche for your own personal pleasure is at the least, cruel. Go slap a kitten around or beat your dog with a stick.
You get the same results.

In order for non-binaries to be accepted, we need to be impressive first.
We have to be just a little bit better.

Ativan, Stratovan, Flotsam, and now just simply... i

I have never intentionally behaved differently in order to mess with other people's heads, and I'm not sure that I like that assumption.  I'm generally just a nondescript person that everyone just refers to as "ma'am" or "miss" without even the slightest pause.  I don't think most would even pause to think that I'm anything other than female and it's only those who get to know me who might accept something else of me.  Apparently it's hard to see much past the c-cups and long hair and that was all I was asking for.

I'm sorry....I took something you wrote and took it out of context for some others. Crap, I never even thought about you taking it that way
A Thousand apologies, I'm so sorry. It was very self center of me.
Ativan, And who I am.

It's alright, Ativan.  I can tell that something is certainly bothering you over the shock value approach that some people seem to be enjoying.  I was just worried that you were lumping me into that and I've been anything but shocking for most of my life.

I think that the people in that age group you listed try to do something shocking regardless of what they identify as or how they go about it because they are finally able to assert themselves as individuals... and they just take it too far.  I see it as a part of growing up, and when they get backlash from it, they'll settle down again for the most part.   There is a lot of value in trying out different things to figure out what feels right for you, but I agree that we've got to try to be a bit more respectful of others as we do so.

Thank You for understanding. And thank you for understanding what the point was I was making. There were a few posts that looked as if they were going to run into that, ''who can I really mess up, contest''. I'm sensitive to it probably because I'm in my fifties now, but I still remember those days of freaking people just for the sake of being a freak. 60's-70's stuff.

Binary Transgenders have an extremely hard road ahead for exceptance, ours might be harder. But honestly, If people could get used to the fact that there are non-binaries out there, and I think it would be easier because we look more like them, then there is a hope that all genders, irregardless of what it consists of to be accepted in this world.

Quote from: Robyn on July 18, 2011, 12:32:45 AM
I just want to be seen and heard as what I am, an older woman.

My husband (FTM) says he was going for studly but has to be satified with 'cute old curmudgeon'.

Robyn

Always love your posts Robyn    You are awesome

I turn 50 this Oct. which may be a drop in the bucket to some but a big deal to me... I like to be seen as myself also, an aging woman who is still a bit hip, feisty and sexy and does it all with a bit of class 

Just realized my posting could be misread, too - I'm not into f***ing peoples mind either.
Sorry, if that upset anyone.
What I wanted to say was: I think, if you get to that point, which you pointed out, and are confident enough about your own identity (ambiguous in my case) - it won't matter to you that much anymore, as which gender people see you.
I'm just content with whatever they will call me now, as long as it isn't anything straight - and this is simply me being myself.

Well, okay, I have to admit I like to play "guess my gender" with strangers, waiting how they will refer to me.
Most of the time people just seem to avoid gendered words with me, though, I don't know if that's out of embarrassment or care.
And I like to learn how they see me today, as I've totally no clue what complete strangers think about my first impression (look, voice, gestures, etc.) - and can't ask them about that ofc.
Therefore sorry again, if you think, someone could misunderstand it.

Greets, Alex

Edits: appendixed and improved

I'd like to be seen as intriguing, mysterious, creative, sensitive, joyful.  A touch of beauty.  Divine spark.  Cute is good.  Strong and capable are also good.

Oh, which gender?  I'd love for people to see that I'm nonbinary, to wear my heart on my sleeve and have it be recognized.  Too bad there aren't widely recognized obvious markers for it, the way there are for male and female.  I will seriously squee if someone ever looks at me and sees a nonbinary person, instead of a guy who dresses funny and may be a bit femme.

How I don't want to be seen:  "sissy" (I'm not weak).  Crossdresser (not that I am opposed to it in others, but it's not me, and the line is fuzzy enough to be kind of vexing.)  "Trap" (I really don't like that kind of transphobic attitutude; my gender expression is not an attempt to deceive anyone, actually the opposite).  Fashion-challenged (guilty as charged, but I'm trying to learn).

What doesn't bother me:  guy (I look like one, identified as one for 39.5 years, and mostly dress like one).  Gay (I'm not, but it doesn't offend me).  Weird (guilty as charged).

I'd like to be seen in three dimensions.

Quote from: i on July 19, 2011, 08:02:51 PM
There were a few posts that looked as if they were going to run into that, ''who can I really mess up, contest''.

i hope i wasn't taken that way. but if i were, then i just want to clarify that i'd never want to mess with other people's heads. no matter how i look or what i wear i'll still only be myself, i've long since given up on acting a gender role that isn't me. and my freakier sides are some that i generally never show the rest of society, i'll only reveal those to people whom i (think i can) trust

Taka...be genuine. I'm not saying you havn't been, and it's very hard to do online sometimes. There is more of you to know, it should be genuine.
This should be the place were you have the freedom to be who you are. Take advantage. The funny odd things said by some, are funny and meant to be that. But, they are usually up front, at leastyou will figure them out. I advised new people here to go and look at peoples old posta and get an idea of who they are. Just click on there name and then choose posts. It will amaze you at some of the thoughts on subjects that people have. It is worth the time to get to know your neihbors here, and to be genuine so they can get to know you. Just do it.......

i

i'm too lazy to look up everything the people around here write. but i do from time to time if someone seems interesting

i also try my best to be genuine. not too easy, i looked at some of my own former posts at a different forum, and i can't believe the person a was only a few months ago. i know i meant every word i wrote, but i couldn't imagine writing the same thing right now. then again, in a few days i might be back to that point where it is natural to think like i did those months ago

all i can do is hope that people won't misunderstand me on those days when the world looks pitch black to me and i become very cynical about it. those who know me well (does unfortunately not include my mom) understand me and recognize the meaning behind my words, but i've met too many who are put off by the way i express myself on those days and judge me by that one "wrong" word i used

Be tolerant with what you receive and be careful with what you give.

The whole internet was built with that thinking.

If they were genuine at the time, but now look weird, it's because the situation that made you genuine in that way has changed.
You can only hope for the best.
And it seems pretty common that Androgyn's are not understood, they can't see the world as you do.
And there's the fact that a higher percentage of Androgyn's have a higher yet different IQ, as in Freak'n Genius.
Quote:

"Most genius is acceptable because it can be stated in such a way that it can be understood to whatever degree of intelligence it is being used at.

Freak'n genius always run the risk of sounding like just so much bull->-bleeped-<- because Freak'n is a level that is hard for some to work with."

i

careful with what you give..? i thought the internet was invented so secrets could be shared more easily? wasn't it a military invention?

but you're right. i've come into really weird situations because of one single wrong word, not necessarily written by me. like that time (somewhere else) when a guy was offended on my behalf by something another guy wrote in my defense. a ridiculous situation created by a single word, but understandable perhaps, if i say that word was a label..

Quote from: i on July 20, 2011, 04:42:03 PM
If they were genuine at the time, but now look weird, it's because the situation that made you genuine in that way has changed.
You can only hope for the best.

i don't know if it's the situation which has changed, it's more likely to be my gender or maybe entire personality walking in circles or maybe a digit eight shape between states that seem like total opposites even to me when seeing it form a different angle. all of it is undeniably me, but it looks like it's too much to include all at the same time

loved that quote about freak'n genius. people often have trouble following my reasoning, some because they can't accept anything other than what the text books from their school days say, others because i'm just too weird for them to follow

"Be strict in what you send and tolerant in what you receive."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robustness_Principle

There, I looked the quote.

And I don't know what mil secrets have to do with anything, but it was made by DARPA and uni friends to send data back and forth.