(Quick clarification: This is NOT in reference to this website. This is a support website, and I come here specifically to support people.)

I love helping people, it's one of the things I enjoy the most. Which is why this is a deep conflict to me.

I want to move on with my life. Sure it was a mistake that I was originally born male, but I've gone through great lengths to remedy that. I don't want to be reminded of it by hearing about your problems everywhere I go. I have trans-friends bombarding me one way or another with their issues. Facebook, text messages, visiting them in person, their trans-issues are all they talk about.

Okay fine, I understand you're new/struggling in your transition, but please stop bombarding me with your problems, I have my own. The few people that I do REALLY care to help don't reach out for support and even reject it when I offer a helping hand which frustrates me.

The people who bombard you are the people who move way to fast through their transition. They're racing along trying to get to the finish line as quickly as possible, but they don't take into account that there are bumps in the road, and when your racing as fast as you can those bumps become exaggerated and you become damaged and even crash. It takes more time to undo all of the damage than it would if you just took your time on your transition.

When I want to support someone, I go to my local transgroup and I go to these forums. But aside from those 2 things, I really want nothing to do with the issue. It's draining me, physically and mentally. It was bad enough that I dealt with it covertly for 23 years, but it's even worse to be reminded of all of these hardships after I've made efforts to move past them.

You're car broke down? Wow sorry to hear that, tell me more, maybe I can help.
You like sports (eww), and your favorite team lost? Oh, bummer, tell me about the game!
You want to talk about how when you were a child, you used to wear girl's clothes and give me your life story? No, I'd rather not.

Sure it's a lot of big changes that are hard to deal with, but you need to understand that I also dealt with those myself and not too long ago. They were just as stressful on me as they are to you, and being reminded of them puts even more stress on me. It's hard to move forward that way.

So I'm debating whether or not to put some distance between myself and my various trans-friends. I already took around 50 people off of my Facebook friend's list.

Don't have much to reply with but...

*hugs*

I was told by a friend of mine that I need to slow down because I went out fully dressed as female.

I asked him what rate I should go at, and he said...well...just slower than you are.

I dont know how to do this.

I understand about everyones troubles though.  It becomes like a negative vacuum, and you become a stepping stone so others can feel better about themselves by dumping all their ->-bleeped-<- on you.  I hope you weren't planning on being a therapist lol...

I think ou are super nice samantha. Sometimes people take advantage of super nice people. I am just the opposite. I even feel guilty for my rants on here. But sometimes we all need to hear supportive words. Even if they are just typed on a screen :-)

Thank you Maiara, I really appreciate that

Jill, well you're newer in your transition, it tends to suck up a lot of your focus, so you feel the need to talk about it more. Frankly, it's very normal. And it settles down eventually.

I never meant for it to seem like they were wrong for opening up to me with their problems; the problem lies with me really. Perhaps it's just blatant selfishness. I just find it difficult to move forward myself, when it feels like I'm anchored down.

I wasnt implying you were selfish :-)   quite the opposite. I tend to be selfish right now, and I thought you were talking about me.

You are really good about reaching out to people sister. Sometimes you need to reach out and help yourself.
I went through the same things with drugs about 8 years ago...

Just follow your heart and dont ever feel bad for putting yourself first :-)

Nope, I definitely wasn't talking about you Jill I know how to walk away from Susans if I get a little overwhelmed. My problem stems from face-to-face relationships.

well...I wouldnt get down. This is simply an oppurtunity to learn something about yourself.   I for one think you probably make a great friend, and I am sure if you take some "me" time, those who love you will love you for it. Anyone who questions that, might not be deserving of the friendship you have to offer.   Really though its not for me to answer, or really anyone but you     

I am pretty sure someone with a heart like yours will make the right decision.

Wow... Jillian... That was very, very sweet. Thank you so much for that. I really needed to hear that. Thank you. All of a sudden I feel energized

I think I know what group I fall under, lol.  I'm sorry I pushed you away last night, but I didn't really want to talk about it then.  I just needed to get my tears out, so I'm doing better today.   The tissues were very much appreciated. <3

For what it's worth, I've only been full time a little over 2 weeks and I already know what you mean.  I haven't gotten anything close to a "sir" since FFS and it's really nice, makes you just want to move on.  But until I'm post-op for a while I'm going to stick around and help the newbies (more true at the support group since I've never posted much here).  It's always fun to hang out with the cool people too.  Yes, you fall into that group.

Ty Amy ^.^