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The infighting gets us nothing!

Started by Miniar, October 16, 2011, 11:14:03 AM

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Annah

People have to get over the fact that everyone is not the same. Plain and simple. People seriously need to come to peace with that.

People can quote WPATH until the entire document is here. It will not matter to some others.

What the reasons why I am getting surgery is my reasons alone. People have no business to judge me on the merits why I am getting it nor is it their place to psycho analyze why I am getting it done. None of you who judges me on this thread holds Certification in gender Psychology. Keep the pretentious diagnosis to those trained and certified only.

I share my trans history to people I trust and to people I am close to. Those I do not share it with are not in that circle of people so I owe no explanation of the how and why of my surgery.

I don't care if others disagree. I don't care if others cannot understand it to save their life, but what I care is that people respect other people's own paths and own journeys. To judge someone else is to show their very own weaknesses.
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Sarah Louise

Please no more posts directed at Individuals, only at the topic.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Valeriedoeswcs

If what i wrote is read carefully it can be seen that i called willingly cutting off a body part is insane. Nowhere did i call any individual an insult.

Can anyone honestly say it is a sane thing to cut off your body as a choice?

How am i insulting anyone?

I was responding to what was written, not making any personal attacks. There is no need to demonize me.

Who here will cut off their arm or hand? Cmon, please. We are all adults here and simply having a conversation.

Why cant it be conceded that it is necessary for that person and not a choice without a group attacking me.
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Shana A

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 12:22:29 PM
If what i wrote is read carefully it can be seen that i called willingly cutting off a body part is insane.

Here of all places, I would hope we could refrain from describing MTF operation as "cutting off a body part". We all know that to not be the case. Describing it as such is inflammatory language, the likes of what I see when posting news blogs from the extreme religious right wing.

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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Annah

Quote from: Zythyra on October 17, 2011, 12:55:43 PM
Here of all places, I would hope we could refrain from describing MTF operation as "cutting off a body part". We all know that to not be the case. Describing it as such is inflammatory language, the likes of what I see when posting news blogs from the extreme religious right wing.

Z

+1
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mimpi

Quote from: Miniar on October 17, 2011, 10:50:52 AM
Once again, the cycle of arguments goes around and around and around....

Did I say, anywhere, at any time, that sexual reassignment surgery is a choice or is optional?
No, I didn't.
But that doesn't mean that it is, by it's very nature, absolutely 100% mandatory either.

That's where the problem lies.

Just because I can live without srs does not make me a woman. Just because I can live with my vagina doesn't make me a woman any more than having been born with one.

THE DEFINITION OF WOMAN IS NOT VAGINA!

Is this really so bloody hard to understand?

It's not about whether or not SRS is or isn't fundamentally a choice, it's about the fact that it can be, for some, possible to be themselves without srs while others may feel they need it to be remotely comfortable in their own skin.
It's absolutely, 100% necessary for some, but not all.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE THEM ANY LESS MEN OR WOMEN!ยจ

Yes, for most of us, "if" it were possible to have a 100% guaranteed result of a 100% fully functional set of genitals, we'd all jump at the chance, but let's face it, there's no 100% guarantee, there's no 100% fully functional, and there's a lot of pain, a lot of cost, and considerable risk of losing more than just a little.
You know this, you've been here a while, you've seen girls post of their third or fourth revision, eventually giving up on the hope of ever feeling content with what surgery has brought them.

We do have a choice, I don't care what WPATH says, no one can physically force us to have any surgery of any kind against our wills. We can "choose" not to accept a medically necessary heart transplant. We can "choose" not to undergo medically necessary cancer treatments. Therefore we can "choose" not to have SRS.

Those of us who choose not to have SRS don't do so because we're "crazy" but because when we're faced with the cost (fiscal, physical and mental) as well as the risks, and we weigh that against our own personal level of dysphoria regarding the downstairs area and the results we can theoretically expect in a "best case" scenario, we find that in our own personal position, as it is, at least for the time being, the surgery is not something we're willing to go through with.

This doesn't mean that it was a simple choice for other people, in other positions, with other personal backgrounds and so on.
It doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone.
It doesn't mean it's cosmetic or even "elective".

It means quite simply that my body will be altered to suit my needs. MY NEEDS!
Not yours, not some other persons, MY NEEDS!

It doesn't change what your needs were any less "needs".
It means that I am not you.

It's very simple.
I am not you.

Here's the only thing I want from you.
Stop dictating my identity, stop dictating my transition, and stop othering me.
That's it!

Nail on the head.

At the end of the day what's being argued about here is conformity to a series of norms and as such the issue is sociological and political. Leaving aside gender, srs and all the rest for a minute this very same discussion could be about one's political or religious beliefs or even the use of skin lightening creams.

We haven't all been socialised in the same manner, some us have very different political views regarding conformity in the wider sense and society in general. Personally I couldn't care less what anyone wants to do with their 'bits' but I do care very much that they are allowed to do whatever they wish so long as no one is hurt by their actions.

Neither a man nor a woman nor anyone in between should be judged by what they have in their underwear, their appearance, their ethnic origin, religious belief, age, sexual orientation and so on... Live and let live and back off judging people and projecting crap onto others.

There are far more important issues in this world of ours than arguing over whether a trans person should have srs, should desire to have srs or couldn't care less about it. If we really want to resolve these issues society itself needs to change and we need to aim for a day when gender difference is no big deal and of course free health care is available to all.

We have been brainwashed into accepting we are somehow wrong. Yes, according to the American Psychiatric Society we have a psychiatric disorder and some of us even want to let that stand so as to access privatised health care. Well, ->-bleeped-<- that. I don't give a monkey's what the APS think, I'm not even American so who the hell are they to tell me I have a disorder! The issue here is that we don't have a disorder, it's just one big scam linked to their own self importance and privatised healthcare. Free healthcare for all, worldwide is the solution. The money IS there, swords into ploughshares as the saying goes...

Don't argue about this petty stuff FFS, get out there and change our thieving lying systems of government if you have this much energy. We are human beings equal to anyone else in this world, do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
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SandraJane

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 12:22:29 PM
If what i wrote is read carefully it can be seen that i called willingly cutting off a body part is insane. Nowhere did i call any individual an insult.

Can anyone honestly say it is a sane thing to cut off your body as a choice?

How am i insulting anyone?

I was responding to what was written, not making any personal attacks. There is no need to demonize me.

Who here will cut off their arm or hand? Cmon, please. We are all adults here and simply having a conversation.

Why cant it be conceded that it is necessary for that person and not a choice without a group attacking me.

This Infighting Gets Us Nothing! 

I suggest at this point Valerie that you start another thread to continue your postings concerning Sanity, SRS, and what's in your coffee.


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Valeriedoeswcs

Quote from: Zythyra on October 17, 2011, 12:55:43 PM
Here of all places, I would hope we could refrain from describing MTF operation as "cutting off a body part". We all know that to not be the case. Describing it as such is inflammatory language, the likes of what I see when posting news blogs from the extreme religious right wing.

Z

Really? DO you not know what women's SRS is? They remove the penis and testicles. How is that inflammatory. I had it done. If anyone knows it is me. Did you or anyone in this thread have that done? I think I am the only here that has had that physically done. They cut it off with a scalpel.

To say it is a CHOICE, is asking for what is not needed. Why can that not be conceded in this debate?

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mimpi

Quote from: Zythyra on October 17, 2011, 12:55:43 PM
Here of all places, I would hope we could refrain from describing MTF operation as "cutting off a body part". We all know that to not be the case. Describing it as such is inflammatory language, the likes of what I see when posting news blogs from the extreme religious right wing.

Z

Exactly. Every grouping tends to have a right wing and this is the sh*t we are dealing with here.
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SandraJane

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 01:03:13 PM
Really? DO you not know what women's SRS is? They remove the penis and testicles. How is that inflammatory. I had it done. If anyone knows it is me. Did you or anyone in this thread have that done? I think I am the only here that has had that physically done. They cut it off with a scalpel.

To say it is a CHOICE, is asking for what is not needed. Why can that not be conceded in this debate?

Valerie...this topic is about Infighting Gets Us Nothing, you have now created a new topic concerning SRS/GRS/GCS and Choice. That would give you another topic and be on track with said topic. Now its off track, time for you to start another one.
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mimpi

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 01:07:05 PM
Give me a break. None of you have had this surgery.

What surgery?

I've had a splenectomy, have you?
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Sarah Louise

Everyone, give me a break.

We have been having this fight for months and we have gotten nowhere.  No Where at all, still at square one.

It doesn't do any good to "lock" a thread, someone just gives it a new title and starts all over.  Haven't we learned yet to just realize we are not going to agree.

We are a "community" because society lumps us together because we are different.  But each group of us here have different issues and realities.

All opinions deserve equal treatment.  Take a step back, regroup and make an attempt to see the other peoples side of things, without taking offense.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Valeriedoeswcs

Quote from: mimpi on October 17, 2011, 01:03:53 PM
Exactly. Every grouping tends to have a right wing and this is the sh*t we are dealing with here.

Why are personal attacks against me allowed to be said? This is the 3rd time you have attacked me personally along with a smite. Why do I anger you so much?

Why am I moderated yet these attacks are allowed to stand? I am not a right winger.  I am an elder of this community. I am someone who sacrificed everything for my identity. And yet, this faction or group here with their particular social viewpoint is allowed to freely attack me.

If you bothered to actually read what I wrote, you would see that I have never attacked anyone.

Quote from: mimpi on October 17, 2011, 01:12:55 PM
What surgery?

I've had a splenectomy, have you?

You are an anarchist enjoying baiting me. We are talking about womens SRS. Have you read any of this discussion?
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Shana A

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 01:03:13 PM
Really? DO you not know what women's SRS is? They remove the penis and testicles. How is that inflammatory. I had it done. If anyone knows it is me. Did you or anyone in this thread have that done? I think I am the only here that has had that physically done. They cut it off with a scalpel.

To say it is a CHOICE, is asking for what is not needed. Why can that not be conceded in this debate?

Yes Val, I fully know the details of what MTF SRS is, and how much it costs, having researched it due to profound gender dysphoria. I chose not to proceed, for the time being, given my circumstances. At some point I might make a different choice, if and when it feels correct to do so.

Some at Susan's see surgery as a choice, and some don't. I understand you did what was right for you. That doesn't make it right for someone else.

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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mimpi

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 01:15:29 PM
You are an anarchist enjoying baiting me. We are talking about womens SRS. Have you read any of this discussion?

Lol! Get it right: I'm a communist not an anarchist, my dear ;D

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VeryGnawty

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 12:22:29 PM
Who here will cut off their arm or hand?

I like my hand.  Why would I want to cut it off?
"The cake is a lie."
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mimpi

Quote from: VeryGnawty on October 17, 2011, 01:26:34 PM
I like my hand.  Why would I want to cut it off?

You might want to give someone a hand?

> hides...
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Renate

Quote from: Valeriedoeswcs on October 17, 2011, 01:03:13 PM
I think I am the only [one] here that has had that physically done.

Mmm, not necessarily.
There are some others here who chose to have it done.
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Valeriedoeswcs

Quote from: Renate on October 17, 2011, 01:40:15 PM
Mmm, not necessarily.
There are some others here who chose to have it done.

I was referring to the people in the discussion.

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Annah

she was referring to the people in the discussion
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