Granted. You will have a robot to clean everything but once it's finished it will malfunction and explode thus making your room dirty again with nuts and bolts.

I wish I had ice cream right now.

Granted.  The ice cream truck comes down your street, but you have to fight your way through a mob of 7 year olds to get to it.  You return victoriously with ice cream but missing several fingers and a shoe.

I wish my graphics card didn't get sad when I try to run Portal 2.

Quote from: Lee on January 10, 2012, 02:54:40 AM
Granted.  The ice cream truck comes down your street, but you have to fight your way through a mob of 7 year olds to get to it.  You return victoriously with ice cream but missing several fingers and a shoe.
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I wish my graphics card didn't get sad when I try to run Portal 2.

Granted.  Your graphics card got angry instead and shattered Portal 2 into pieces.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

Granted but now you can only see things in hindsight.
I wish my knee were healed.

Quote from: Lee on January 10, 2012, 03:17:24 AM
Granted but now you can only see things in hindsight.
I wish my knee were healed.

Granted but then your ankle goes out for overworking your knees once they are healed.

I wish I had a punching bag with gloves.

Quote from: Malachite on January 10, 2012, 03:22:26 AM
I wish I had a punching bag with gloves.

Granted!  Betty White shows up wearing chainmail gauntlets and beats you to a pulp.

I wish I could reconfigure my genitalia depending on how I was presenting.

Granted, but your pants would be see through.

I wish I didn't drink Pepsi with my breakfast.

Granted.  The Pepsi spills into your breakfast now.

I wish school was over.

Granted!  School's over because the zombie apocalypse started in the boy's locker room and everybody got eaten.

I wish that I had a smaller waist and a bigger butt.

Granted. Your butt gets so big that when you sit down on the toilet the toilet breaks and when you fall your waist is so small it snaps off from the impact.

I wish I was taller.

Quote from: Logan Erik on January 10, 2012, 09:20:23 PM
Granted.  You are eight feet tall.  You can't fit in cars, you can't sit in furniture, you can't walk in buildings, and your limbs are so long you have lousy circulation and joint problems.

I wish I had more energy.

Granted.  Your have so much energy that the authorities take you and do painful genetic testings on you for 10 years.

I wish I was a professional MMA fighter.

Quote from: Malachite on January 10, 2012, 09:34:14 PM

I wish I was a professional MMA fighter.

Granted! Your first opponent is Tony Jaa.

I wish that my stepmother wasn't so bigoted.

Granted.  She turns into a cheapskate.

I wish I knew how a rasberry tasted.

Granted. Your taste buds, however, always make raspberries taste like strawberries.

I wish I had my own apartment.

Quote from: Dante on January 11, 2012, 12:07:04 AM
Granted. Your taste buds, however, always make raspberries taste like strawberries.

I wish I had my own apartment.

Granted but someone will drill a peep hole in your bathroom and watch you every time.

I wish my internet connection sped up.

Granted!  But your CPU can't handle the data transfer rates and melts.

I wish that extreme right wing Christians would be afflicted with true empathy.

Quote from: NikorNiki on January 11, 2012, 02:39:29 AM
Granted!  But your CPU can't handle the data transfer rates and melts.

I wish that extreme right wing Christians would be afflicted with true empathy.

Granted.

The Christians are are afflicted with empathy, but it's for everyone else and not us.

I wish I could be a Ninja Girl.

Granted.  You are now a female ninja turtle.

I wish I had big strong muscles.

Granted, you now have big strong muscles -- in your fingers and toes. The rest of your body is the same. At least you can open those pickle jars with ease.

I wish my cell would stop freezing and acting so random since the recent update.

Quote from: April Dawne on January 11, 2012, 07:57:48 AM
Granted, you now have big strong muscles -- in your fingers and toes. The rest of your body is the same. At least you can open those pickle jars with ease.

I wish my cell would stop freezing and acting so random since the recent update.

Granted.  Your cell phone gets dropped in water and never comes back on again.

I wish my college classes were easy.