Brooke has her 1st therapy appt tomorrow....what are things she should be looking for/asking in the first appt?

I think Brooke should look for comfort and the ease by which she can speak and share with her therapist.  She should try to get a feel of her therapist's treatment philosophy and how experienced her therapist is in treating people with GID.  I can't think of any particular questions that I wish I would have asked and didn't in my first session.  The most important thing is to let go of the nervousness, realize that an experienced therapist has probably heard it all, and then some, and to be as deeply honest as she can possibly be.  A hard thing to do with someone you just met, but the sooner Brooke gets to that point, imo, the better.

btw, Brooke, if you are reading this, Congratulations!  The first session is a big step.  Hold onto your hat, you may end up miles from here!

hugs & smiles
helen

Hi TWC
................
Congratulations Brooke.

If you find some interesting observations and feel comfortable sharing them please do.

W

Congrats brooke!

I think they usually start with your past history and work from there -- that's been my experience, anyway. Then they usually ask certain questions, like if you hear voices and stuff -- they usually have to check that to make sure that you have no other condition. However, being honest is good -- if you mention that you get depression for example, they ask more about it and usually Trans people have that before.

Today is the day. She will be going soon. Why am *I* nervous? 

I hope this guy is educated on the subject and open minded. I also hope he isn't intimidating to Brooke.



*nail biting*
How long does the first session run?
My tummy hurts....

I'm betting she'll do just fine.

My first session was about an hour. She didn't have an appointment after mines so we might have gone over just a bit.

I wqs worried about telling her everything the first session . I was pretty talkative and it ran over when I got home and needed to talk to my SO about what it was like. Be prepared to listen when she gets back.

Debbie

Are you familiar with the Standards of Care?

Have you helped TSs transition before?

Can you write HRT letters?

Do you work with doctors?

Can you diagnose GID?

Do you run any support groups?

Quote from: Kate on April 19, 2007, 01:10:09 PM
Are you familiar with the Standards of Care?

Have you helped TSs transition before?

Can you write HRT letters?

Do you work with doctors?

Can you diagnose GID?

Do you run any support groups?

ROFL Kate, at first I thouth you were asking ME those questions!!! I am cracking up, too funny...

Quote from: debbiej on April 19, 2007, 01:10:09 PM
I'm betting she'll do just fine.
Be prepared to listen when she gets back.

Debbie

I am, however I am also knowing she may not want to talk about it at all, especially to me. At least for now. So I shall wait.

Quote from: togetherwecan on April 19, 2007, 01:16:04 PM
I am, however I am also knowing she may not want to talk about it at all, especially to me. At least for now. So I shall wait.

Awwww...I feel for you twc, you seem like such an awesome SO for someone who is going thru this. I understand tho too, the need for Brooke to have her own space. I sometimes have a hard time telling my SO some of my thoughts and feelings because I don't want to hurt her. After almost 24 years of marriage, this is definitley rocking her world and her thoughts about her future.

Hugs,

Rhonda

Quote from: togetherwecan on April 19, 2007, 01:16:04 PM
I am, however I am also knowing she may not want to talk about it at all, especially to me. At least for now. So I shall wait.

Hey you! I was dying to get home and talk to you about it. But, I had to take care of some other surprise things before I came home to relax.

Anticappointment, I guess would best describe what it was. What's anticappointment, you ask? It's a Sniglet that combines anticipation with dissappointment. I remember it because to me it's not a Sniglet, it's a real word. (and for those who are scratching thier heads now asking 'what's a Sniglet?' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet)

Aniticappointment - when you can't wait to see a movie and hype it all up and then when you go and see it, it turns out to be not as great as you pumped it up to be.

I don't know why, I guess I was expecting something to change. I anticipated this day as if it were some HUGE deal. All we really did was get acquainted. But, it was a good first step just because of the fact that I pumped it up in my head and then went thru with it. I sorta committed to taking the next steps.

He gave me some homework to do. Some personality sheets and history. T or F statements and statements I have to scale 1 to 5.

He has had some experience with transexuals. But after reading some of the questions here that I missed before I went, I want to ask him the more important question.

Can you diagnose GID?

And

Have you helped a TS transition?

Having some experience with TS's could be quite different from diagnosing GID and helping a TS transition. I guess I will have to ask these specific questions.

Thanks all for your help! I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing, but I'm glad that I'm moving forward. That alone does feel better then sitting in despair wondering what I should do next.


I should probably mention that my going to see a therapist is for two reasons. One is for anxiety. I have had this constant pain my chest for about 3 years now. They say it's anxiety.

The other reason is GID. And I think it may very well be that my anxiety is at least partially caused by my GID and how I have been handling it all these years.

I felt better about my therapist when she told me she has had patients that fully transitioned and that she has had patients that have decided that full transition is not what they wanted to do. I am confidant that she has no preconceived notions of how any individual transgendered person must live out their gender.

I'm not sure how to put that into a question but I think it is something important to know about your therapist.

An aside:  It has also been very important that my wife knows this about my therapist. It has eased her anxiety quite a bit about my seeing my therapist.

Debbie

Quote from: Brooke NY on April 20, 2007, 09:11:56 AM
I don't know why, I guess I was expecting something to change. I anticipated this day as if it were some HUGE deal. All we really did was get acquainted. But, it was a good first step just because of the fact that I pumped it up in my head and then went thru with it. I sorta committed to taking the next steps.

That's the way the first meeting usually goes.  In order to work together, you have to develop a level of trust.  And to do that you have to start out taking baby steps.  Don't expect to notice any difference until you've had at least 3-6 visits.

Quote from: Kate on April 19, 2007, 01:10:09 PM
Can you diagnose GID?

That's not particularly difficult.  The DSM-IV is quite explicit about the diagnostic criteria.

Quote from: debbiej on April 20, 2007, 09:49:09 AM
An aside:  It has also been very important that my wife knows this about my therapist. It has eased her anxiety quite a bit about my seeing my therapist.

I second that!  My therapist and I go quite a ways back now, but at first my spouse didn't trust her.  She assumed that any therapist I picked would be facilitating me down the road to HRT and GRS.  That attitude changed when I explained to her that what my therapist and I were talking about was how I could feel good about not starting HRT.

My own aside: It was years before I was ready for HRT.  When I finally said I was ready, my therapist explicitly told me that she would not recommend me until I told my spouse.  At our next appointment I was able to tell her that I had not only told Deb, but that she had aggreaed.  From that point there were no further questions.

Quote from: debbiej on April 20, 2007, 09:49:09 AM
An aside:  It has also been very important that my wife knows this about my therapist. It has eased her anxiety quite a bit about my seeing my therapist.

It helped when my therapist encouraged my wife to come to one of my sessions, she felt more a part of the process after that.

Quote from: Brooke NY on April 20, 2007, 09:11:56 AM
The other reason is GID. And I think it may very well be that my anxiety is at least partially caused by my GID and how I have been handling it all these years.

My anxiety, except that of passing at times , has diminished a lot since I came out and started therapy with someone I trusted.

I'm glad your first session was a good first step, as Lisbeth said, baby steps, then move on to the bigger stuff.

Rhonda

Congrats on a big and, for some, scary step.  Sound like you did fine and have some solid ground for the next go around.

Hi together, I had my first appt yesterday and it was a very good experience. I think the most important thing is for Brooke to be very honest with the therapist and with her herself. Don't rush anything, let the therapist know what she's feeling and looking for. Honesty seems to be so, so important in therapy. Not just honesty with the therapist, but being honest to YOURSELF. You are awesome for being there. That really very supportive and makes such a difference to us when we sometimes feel like we have noone to lean on. Take care, Meghan