Granted.  You legs aren't thick, they are really clever, your arms however are now really dumb.

I wish I had J Lo's bum.

Granted.  You get J-Lo's bum but you break every chair you sit in afterwards.

I wish I had more facial hair.

Quote from: Malachite on April 30, 2012, 04:30:49 AM
I wish I had more facial hair.

Granted, but it was grafted from Oscar the Grouch.

I wish chocolate wasn't fattening.

Granted.  Now chocolate is tasteless and not pleasing to the tounge.  Not fattening though!

I wish my eyes were blue.

granted, however your eyelids have sealed shut so no one can ever see them

i wish i could watch the new bones episode now

Granted.  It sucks so bad that you wish you were doing soemthing else.

I wish I never had to put on deodorant.

it never has been the same since booth and bones got together

Granted, your arms were savaged by an escaped time traveling lemur back in '62 and the arm cannon prosthetics wont be out of R&D for another ten years.

i wish i had more space for books

Granted. However everything is now published as an ebook only, so you no longer need the room.

I wish I had steak for dinner tonight instead of fish.

Granted.  The steak is burnt to a crisp.

I wish I wasn't tired.

Granted. You are no longer tired. You are exhausted.
I wish I had a carton of genuine Canadian cheese curds to make real poutain.

Granted but that's the last one left on Earth.

I wish my teeth were perfect.

Granted.  You have perfect shark's teeth and keep biting your tongue off.

I wish I had been able to remember the names of the four types of fish scales in my Biology test this morning.

Granted.  Next time you will have to write a 10 page paper describing each fish scale in detail.

I wish I lived by an ocean.

Granted, due to gloabal waring, there is no more land (yes it some how magically scienceically produced vast amounts of water as well as melting the polar ice caps and everything) so you live by the sea on a raft, as all the underwater cities are full up.

I wish there were more green sweets

Granted.  There are more green sweets but they are all held at the center of the Earth so you can't get to them.

I wish my laptop battery lasted longer.

Granted. However, it keeps getting progressively hotter. Eventually you have to use a silicone mat on top of a cooling lap desk, and you'll end up melting things occasionally.

I wish I had more time to sleep.

Granted. Unfortunately you now also have insomnia.
I wish i had really been allowed to rip the people in CantreLink a new a****** *today.

Granted.  You literally rip their a****** and get the bodily remains all over your hands and arms.

I wish I could make up my mind about things.

granted, though you made up your mind to never make up your mind ...

I wish that when i touched stuff it would turn to skittles too

granted except now you have an itch on your nose and its really really bugging you...

I wish sun would always shine and never go down