Dear Miss Cindy,


I need some of your lovely abuse advice again.  How can I tame my kitten?  He seems to want to play when I don't want to. Any tips on this situation would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance! 


Yours truly,

Fuzzy head

Dear Malachite,

Strange name, sounds like something that grows in a cave.

Training your pussy takes time. Many, but not all, train their pussy with sausage. This can teach your pussy to come when asked. However other find a verbal approach to their satisfaction, a good tongue lashing can do wonders. Or so I'm told.

In your case you may require to discipline your pussy.  I do have a dungeon class room where I can help perverts like you.  I do this out of fundamental christian love, and a tax free income.

If you need my services, and you do, deep grovelling and large cash donations are in order. This is the same as any other fundamental christian service.

Yours in anticipation of causing pain

You will pay for the Miss BTW. Oh you will pay

Hugs and best wishes

Aunty Cindy

Dear Aunty Cindy,

My boyfriend, Bruce Wayne, found my black skin-tight leather jump suit.  He now wants me to wear it.

I don't want to, because if I do he will know I am Catwoman.  What can I do?

Selina Kyle

Dear Aunty Cindy, I have become attracted to my next door neighbour.  If we have sex, would it be classified as adultery? 
Seeing as he is from Launceston and they really are not human like us, does it count? Well, they aren't related anyway.

Shagbag.




 

Quote from: Cindy James on May 27, 2012, 03:23:15 AM

You will pay for the "Miss" BTW. Oh you will pay.

Malachite is from the South!  "Miss" is considered a polite salutation.

All the schoolmarms are called "Miss."   

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on May 27, 2012, 10:11:05 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy,

My boyfriend, Bruce Wayne, found my black skin-tight leather jump suit.  He now wants me to wear it.

I don't want to, because if I do he will know I am Catwoman.  What can I do?

Selina Kyle

Dear Selina,

That he wants you to wear it is probably a suppressed desire to wear it himself. This also accounts for the total Bat thingy.  Obviously some sort of pervert. Dress him up in your black skin-tight leather jump suit and give him a good lashing, better still make him give you a good lashing, see above post. Make sure this is on film. I hear Bruce is good for a few dollars.

You of course can wear the Bat costume because you are also a pervert with a thing about animals.

Hugs and Love

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: justmeinoz on May 28, 2012, 03:33:33 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy, I have become attracted to my next door neighbour.  If we have sex, would it be classified as adultery? 
Seeing as he is from Launceston and they really are not human like us, does it count? Well, they aren't related anyway.

Shagbag.

Dear Shagbag,

What do you mean human like us? Tasmanians are at best a fungal growth on the face of the tassie devil and have few if any human qualities.  As you have a neighbour which of you dug into the river bank first?

Your desire to partake in the incestuous relationship with the bizarre freak of your neighbour is very understandable in your situation. You may also decide to mount a hollow log. This may provide better post coitus conversation.

Hugs and Love

Aunty Cindy

Quote from: Jamie D on May 28, 2012, 03:49:26 AM
Malachite is from the South!  "Miss" is considered a polite salutation.

All the schoolmarms are called "Miss."   

Dear Jamie D,

I of course appreciate your comment.  As usual about as useful as a wart on the end of a penis, and just as attractive.

I am MISTRESSS, you ignorant toad. After a good flogging I will release you so that you can continue your education. Shouldn't be difficult you next lesson is how to spell cat, there is a c at the beginning and a t at the end and an a somewhere.

Try hard and you may even manage to breathe.

Goddess the Help I get

Hugs and Love for a Sweet and Wonderful life

Aunty Cindy

I strongly suspected your need for such products.

Are you the wart of the creature attached to it?

Hugs and Kisses

Aunty Cindy

Ribbit

A self portrait!

Quote from: Jamie D on May 28, 2012, 03:49:26 AM
Malachite is from the South!  "Miss" is considered a polite salutation.

All the schoolmarms are called "Miss."   

A lot more than just schoolmarms. I get it about twenty times a day, mostly from kids, its how they address all us old women.

Quote from: Cindy James on May 27, 2012, 03:23:15 AM
Dear Malachite,

Strange name, sounds like something that grows in a cave.

Training your pussy takes time. Many, but not all, train their pussy with sausage. This can teach your pussy to come when asked. However other find a verbal approach to their satisfaction, a good tongue lashing can do wonders. Or so I'm told.

In your case you may require to discipline your pussy.  I do have a dungeon class room where I can help perverts like you.  I do this out of fundamental christian love, and a tax free income.


Mistress Cindy you must please forgive me.
If you need my services, and you do, deep grovelling and large cash donations are in order. This is the same as any other fundamental christian service.

Yours in anticipation of causing pain

You will pay for the Miss BTW. Oh you will pay

Hugs and best wishes

Aunty Cindy

MISTRESSS Cindy please forgive me.  "Miss" from my little land is a sign of respect.

Dear Aunty Cindy!

Could you give me some advice on how to attract a straight member of the same sex or a gay member of the opposite sex?

- Little Panda

Quote from: Taka on May 28, 2012, 06:11:54 PM
Dear Aunty Cindy!

Could you give me some advice on how to attract a straight member of the same sex or a gay member of the opposite sex?

- Little Panda

Dear Little Panda,

Your best bet is to walk around naked carrying a placard saying 'I need a Root'. This a mating tactic used in Tasmania with little success because most Tasmanians can't read.

You strengthen your chances by holding a large vibrator and a tube of lubricant.

If you don't attract a mate, you will be locked up anyway and I'm sure you gaol buddies will assist you.

Hugs Kisses

Aunty Cindy

Dear Aunty Cindy,  my family are becoming quite concerned about my brother.  It appears he has developed an addiction to Meat Pie Floaters.  I could understand if he was a Croweater, but he is from Queensland.  Is there any hope for him?

Concerned, of Hobbit.

Dear Hobbit,

Geez bloody hobbits in Tassie now, when will it end.

That you have a brother shows that your parents definitely over bred. That he has an addiction is of course no surprise. You do need to tell him to eat the pie floaters and not inject them. Considering he is in Queensland there is bugger all hope for him anyway, and the gene pool will be saved.

Hugs and Kisses

Aunty Cindy

Dear MISTRESS Cindy,

Lately I have found myself to have an addiction to soda.  How can I break that addiction?



Signed,

Mr. Malachite

Dearest Aunty Cindy -

Ever since I read your reply to the Tasmanian She-devil. concerning Meat Pie Floaters, I have had, frankly, an unnatural fascination with what purports to be the "Australian National Dish" (present company excluded, of course).  Is this truly the pinnacle of the Australian culinary art?

I have had Fish & Chips in London
Paella in Marbella
Sauerbraten in Munchen
A jibarito in San Juan
Mole pablano in Baja
Skyr in Reykjavik
Even haggis in Glasgow

but I have never had a Meat Pie Floater.

If I am adventurous enough, I will try to make one this weekend.  But how drunk does one have to be to enjoy it?