Ooookay, few things here:
One: If your birthday is in a few weeks and you'll be 18, you can go see a GHP, tell him/her about what you need it for, and see if they'll let you start taking spiro. See if you can get a limited letter from your therapist authorizing this (happens all the time for pre-pubescent t-kids). Spironolactone is the drug that we use to block androgens before adding Estrogen and Progesterone. It's not terribly cheep ($80 for around a two month's supply) but it'll stop the testosterone from making you crazy/aggressive. It's worth the cost just for that by itself.
Two: I hate to let you in on this one but then again I dont: you're already as masculinized as you're going to be for quite some time. You have brow bossing and somewhat larger shoulders. A little while isn't going to make a huge difference. The only thing that would have mattered before 21 is starting anti-androgens before 12 so that you kept the voice and before 13-14 to prevent the couple of things you already have. Time is on your side from here one out as the rest of masculinization takes a pretty good deal of time to complete (you'd be fully complete at around 25). You're pretty and lucked out on the looks department even through puberty. Don't freak about it too much. I've got a softer set of features than 90% of trans-girls and I transitioned at 29. You've got time.
Three: As far as home life goes, you're going to have to (HAVE TO) learn the meaning of patience. At 18 you can get the hell on out of your parents home and do what you like. I hope that you have a college plan or something but if not, you'll be able to get somewhere and do something.
Four: Your dad is seriously angry because your being trans threatens his masculinity to his way of thinking. That's just the way western style modern men think in certain circles. You living full time is a serious blow to his ego because his friends see it and, if I'm reading his actions right, he sees that as demeaning himself in their eyes. I'm not saying that behavior or attitude is correct in any way but I will say that he's hurting a lot from his point of view and you understanding that and accepting it may make your life easier because you'll remember not to needle him with it all the time. I'm not saying don't be genuine about yourself nor hide yourself but, I recall being a teen. I wanted to be out there all the time every day. It was just a thing. Try reigning it in around the house and just being polite, respectful, and as loving as you can be. Try to be the daughter that you want him to see and love instead of the young woman, hell bent on living your life on your own terms that you know you are. Still the same person, just a different attitude. He still loves you. He's just confused and unable to accept the reality of the situation. Push too hard and too much and you may break that relationship forever which, while I'm sure might be a nice idea right now, you'd regret later on.
Five: If you want to go all the way, afford hormones, and all that jazz, you're going to have to learn to be a woman instead of a girl. Yes this means sacking the hard-party phase. From the sounds of things, you aren't going to get any help from home so you're probably going to have to spring for this yourself. That means working a job, keeping a level head, and trying hard to be mature enough to not spend every second partying your ass off or blowing everything on clothes and cosmetics (goodwill is your friend, really). The latter is fun but gets you nowhere. Transition costs somewhere around $30,000, even for someone your age (hormones + surgeries). You're definitely going to want to find the discipline to live life conservatively at THIS point so that you can enjoy the hell out of your later 20's (the better part by FAR!)
Hope this is taken as its meant. You have a long journey. Take it a day at a time, chick.
