Granted.  However everytime you come on stage people boo you and throw rotton tomatos at your face forcing you into an early retirement.

I wish I was a tapeworm inside of a human.

Granted

You however grow to epic proportions, even taking on the persona of your host, (you predator!). You then start to procreate, which initially gone on undetected by the National Medical Authority, until it is too late and a new generation of life size tapeworms take over the world. Fortunately some space dust falls from the sky, which in fact is a mutated disease that you have no resistance against. The disease spreads at pandemic speed and proportions. So much so that everything dies befor ............................................

Where's your wish? lol

NEWS FLASH   NEWS FLASH

We interrupt this thread with an urgent news item.
The author of the previous thread has died suddenly. In her last will and testament the following instruction was found and will now be duly carried out.Normal programmes will resume shortly

"I wish I was Cinderella on my way to the ball"



Even later breaking news.

It was the author previous to the pushy individual who jumped in ahead of time above who died.   

Granted.  On the way to the ball the horses went crazy and ran you into a lake.  You had to walk the rest of the way and by the time you got there the ball was over.

I wish I had sweat on my face.

NOT granted!!!!


Oh alright.  .........  I'll grant it just this once. But don't make a habit of it. After all you've been doing a lot of hard work today.

And in your haste to clean yourself up you start to shave the stubble from your face. The razor encounters the first patch of perspiration, slips with remarkable ease, causing you inadvertently slit your juggler vein causing you to bleed profusely. Fortunately a neighbour seeing your plight, immediately applies a pressure point and rushes you to hospital saving your life.

I wish I was SuperWoman

Granted.  However her weakness was oysters and if she were to eat one she would lose her superpowers forever.   

A habit you say....hmmmmm well I wish my shirt was drenched in sweat. 

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

Oh well *sigh* all.....right I did say don't make a habit of it.

Granted   (under duress)

Having finished all your hard work that created this situation, you were unaware of a sudden weather cold snap coming over the range. It hit with such speed and voracity that it caught you unawares. You, having no other protective clothing immediately develop a cold of mammoth proportions and have to spend the rest of the year in bed.

See, you should have listened to your mother, and this wouldn't of happened if you'd taken you galoshes.

I wish I was as ugly as the 3 sisters put together.

Granted.  You were so ugly that everyone wanted to take a picture of you.  You eventually got mad and punched a papparazi in the face landing you 7 years in the slammer.

I wish I had a bottle of soda.

                   

Granted

When opening the soda bottle on such a hot day as it is, the bubbles went straight up your nose, causing you sneeze incessantly. So much so the soda bottle was shaken so much all of its contents were split on the hot pavement and evaporated immediately. Leaving you with all but an empty soda bottle.

Fortunately you had been visiting the GodMother in Adelaide at the time where they give you a 10 cent refund on the empty bottle. So all wasn't lost


I wish I had a teleporter

Granted.  Your teleport to the dinosaur ages when the teleporter breaks down to an unrepairable status.  Have with with the T-Rex over there.

I wish I had a Harley Davidson

Granted.                             Only if it has a side car (Yuck!! What an abomination)

In your haste to take it for a ride on Route 66, you inadvertently run over the fairy who granted the wish, without so much as a sorry, beg your pardon. Once the fairy is released from hospital some weeks later, she immediately dispatches the fairy    to hunt you down.

They finally discover you, lost somewhere in the middle of the Mojave desert, as you took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. The fairy spots you riding away into the sunset at terminal velocity, so she turns up the power of her magic wand, fires a bunch of wishes in your direction. You dive through a hail of wishes and come out the other side as a small monkey riding a matchbox size motor bike.


I wish I was a fairy who could grant everyones wishes

Granted but she died 4 years ago

I wish I didn't have a cheeseburger just now.

Granted. Instead, you have a used pregnancy test, and your hands are full, so you have to hold in in your mouth on the way to the trash can.

I wish I could get the new Kingdom Hearts game.

Granted but you hate the game so much that you break your system out of fit of rage and regret it.

I wish I could lose weight easier.

Granted but the transplant doctors messed up and took more than just your kidney. You now weigh 87 lbs and fit a child's casket.


I wish for solvency.

granted but it only lasts for a month

I wish I was on the moon.

Granted.
Unfortunately you didn't tell ANYONE  where you were going (dear oh dear. Don't you remember your Mother telling you that. I DO) And no matter how much jumping up and down or waving your hands, nobody sees you. You remain on the moon till you die. To which unfortunately, Richard Branson lands on the Moon the day after to set up Branson City. First intergalactic space rocket stop over for all those intergalactic transports

I wish I was clever girl

I remember too :p *always tell me where you are going* 


Granted but every other girl in the world is just as clever as you so it doesn't make a difference.



I wish I had more peaches.

Granted.
You receive so many peaches that's it's impossible for you store, let alone eat. They slowly begin to rot, creating such a stench that it makes you so sick, you can't even think of eating one, let alone looking at one. Which defeated the whole purpose of the wish.

I wish I was a story book