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Aunty Cindy's Agony Column

Started by Cindy, April 11, 2012, 05:16:05 AM

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Justin 21

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Cindy

Quote from: Kimberley on July 15, 2012, 09:24:48 AM
Since you are lower than an infidel, I will retaliate by roasting your Teddy Bear over the BBQ.

Yours with Magnanimous Gestures

Aunty Cindy

Aunty Cindy,

I was being sincere and you want to do a despicable thing to my Teddy Bear. I should have listened to my fellow Sydney girl, Aunty Catherine when she told me about you. I do believe that you are good when you are not being bad.

As for your magnanimous gestures is that what you do to dry your nails because I do that to help them dry more quickly.

Yours in laughter and merriment always.

Kimberly

I was responding that evil genius fool, JamieD

But you have joined force with Kings Cross Catherine; just waiting on the corner watching all the Johns go by.

Ha

I will rise above these taunts. I am invincible ::)

Yours in true humbleness

Aunty Cindy
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justmeinoz

Dear Aunty Cindy,
  The local Minister is now making a frightful nuisance coming around wanting a flogging at all times of the day, while my husband is out skinning small marsupials.  It is getting so a girl can't watch "Days of our Lives" without interruption. 
What do you suggest to stop him pestering me.  My flogging arm is quite worn out.

Need a rest, Gagebrook.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Cindy

Quote from: justmeinoz on July 16, 2012, 04:26:56 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy,
  The local Minister is now making a frightful nuisance coming around wanting a flogging at all times of the day, while my husband is out skinning small marsupials.  It is getting so a girl can't watch "Days of our Lives" without interruption. 
What do you suggest to stop him pestering me.  My flogging arm is quite worn out.

Need a rest, Gagebrook.

Ahh your husband sounds like a delightful 'greenie' man. I hear you have a proliferation of greenies in Tassie. Does yours have a twig or a stick? Just asking.

You do need to become more creative my deer. Do you have them BTW, you used to see them at Stag parties, but I get distracted.

Small marsupials also like to explore tight holes.

A delightful religious experience for your Minister would to be suitable restrained with a baby Tassie tiger confined to his underwear and allowed to explore its surroundings, while of course having the pleasure of watching 'Days of our Incredibly Exciting Lives" as an educational experience.

I did try this with a Church of Something little darling; but I only had a young possum to help. It was quite nervous after listening to the 'Stones' Pleased to Meet You' at 250dB for the evening. But the religious aspect was not lost on the young Church of Something lad. He was screaming 'God No' for some time. I thought he gave the Stones a rather bad review in hindsight. His hind was a sight BTW

Yours in Religious Ecstasy

Sister Aunty Cindy of the Carmelites




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Jamie D

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Jamie D

Dearest Aunty Cindy,

I have been working on a screen play tentatively entitled, "Doctor Jekyll and Cindy Hyde."

Who shall we cast for the two leading roles?

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Cindy

Quote from: Jamie D on July 18, 2012, 04:37:24 AM
Dearest Aunty Cindy,

I have been working on a screen play tentatively entitled, "Doctor Jekyll and Cindy Hyde."

Who shall we cast for the two leading roles?

Dear JamieD,

That you have been working is of course a source of great mirth. I take it you managed to pass wind and thought it was a plan.

As far as casting for this strange case of spilt personality one needs a personality to be split. So that rules you out.

I would focus on the positives of the story, that the split is between Good and Evil.

It is unclear in the story whether Good has an Evil split or that Evil has a Good split. This is a typical dichotomy of political persuasion. Do we look at the benefit or the doubt, or the doubt and then the benefit. One can clearly understand this in the context of the light globe. Is it on or is it off. Then what is the natural state? Similarly when we enter a lift, called elevators for some reasons by genetically linked creatures in the USA, is up normal or down normal. Then we need to define up and down. Personally I like my boyfriends to go up and down, particularly in an elevator so he can give me more lift. Since he is conservative and I'm far more liberal  this allows a total understanding of the light globes dilemma. Do you get screwed in or not.

By reflecting upon these muses you can clearly see the decision on who is Dr Jekyll and Cindy Hyde.

Yours in theatrical bliss

Angeline  Jollie

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Catherine Sarah

Quote from: Cindy James on July 18, 2012, 05:14:11 AM
It is unclear in the story whether Good has an Evil split or that Evil has a Good split. This is a typical dichotomy of political persuasion. Do we look at the benefit or the doubt, or the doubt and then the benefit. One can clearly understand this in the context of the light globe. Is it on or is it off. Then what is the natural state? Similarly when we enter a lift, called elevators for some reasons by genetically linked creatures in the USA, is up normal or down normal. Then we need to define up and down. Personally I like my boyfriends to go up and down, particularly in an elevator so he can give me more lift. Since he is conservative and I'm far more liberal  this allows a total understanding of the light globes dilemma. Do you get screwed in or not.

Hummmmm  ..............  I fully understand.   I personally use baynet caps.

Cindy?  Where are your meds.? ... AND how many weeks is it since you had them?

Kelly? or Karen?  Can you please get me that jacket that is hanging up in the closet. You know the one that ties at the back!! We need to visit someone.

Don't worry everyone. Just chat among yourself for a minute. We'll be back soon, and she should be all well again.

Devlyn? Do you have the lobotomy iron ready?

Cheers girls

Your loving 'Nurse Catherine'




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Justin 21

 nurse-  "doctor are you ready to operate?"
doctor- "of course but first i have to perform sugery"

I'll get the anesthetic
*walks in to shed, comes out with sledge hammer*
ok i'm ready
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Catherine Sarah

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 18, 2012, 08:11:30 AM
nurse-  "doctor are you ready to operate?"
doctor- "of course but first i have to perform surgery"

I'll get the anesthetic
*walks in to shed, comes out with sledge hammer*
OK I'm ready

Oh thank you Justin for coming to the rescue. I'm sure with your skillful surgical hands, our Ms. Cindy will be up and about in no time.

You may now commence the 'procedure' Doctor.

Huggs  (while running for shelter)
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Dawn Heart

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on July 18, 2012, 07:22:40 AM
Hummmmm  ..............  I fully understand.   I personally use baynet caps.

Cindy?  Where are your meds.? ... AND how many weeks is it since you had them?

Kelly? or Karen?  Can you please get me that jacket that is hanging up in the closet. You know the one that ties at the back!! We need to visit someone.

Don't worry everyone. Just chat among yourself for a minute. We'll be back soon, and she should be all well again.

Devlyn? Do you have the lobotomy iron ready?

Cheers girls

Your loving 'Nurse Catherine'


There's more to me than what I thought
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Cindy

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on July 18, 2012, 07:22:40 AM
Hummmmm  ..............  I fully understand.   I personally use baynet caps.

Cindy?  Where are your meds.? ... AND how many weeks is it since you had them?

Kelly? or Karen?  Can you please get me that jacket that is hanging up in the closet. You know the one that ties at the back!! We need to visit someone.

Don't worry everyone. Just chat among yourself for a minute. We'll be back soon, and she should be all well again.

Devlyn? Do you have the lobotomy iron ready?

Cheers girls

Your loving 'Nurse Catherine'

I'll have you know I'm as sane as any of you!


Oh God bring me the lobotomy iron
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Justin 21

well technicly i'm insane so does that mean i'm left out :(
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Catherine Sarah

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 19, 2012, 04:18:31 AM
well technicly i'm insane so does that mean i'm left out :(

Damn it Justin. You can't go short on us now and try and siddle out of it sideways. That's just sooooo "unAustralian"   :laugh:  :laugh:




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Justin 21

hey who told you i was short.i aint tryin to get outta nothin
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Catherine Sarah

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 19, 2012, 07:03:00 AM
hey who told you i was short.i aint tryin to get outta nothin

I can tell by the size font you use in your posts   ???  :icon_crazy:

And you think you're insane. I was there only the other week, until the weather turned bad, so I packed up and came home. ......... Does sane have a postcode, do you know?

I'd love to sign this post, but this jacket is a wee bit tight with my arms behind my back. New fashions, don't think this one will take off   :laugh:   :laugh:




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Cindy

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 19, 2012, 04:18:31 AM
well technicly i'm insane so does that mean i'm left out :(

Isn't that a river in Paris?
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King Malachite

Mistress Cindy I need your guidence.

How does one make $20,000 really fast outside of having a job?  Perhaps you can show me some tips on how to get this money.



-Mr. Klondike Bar
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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Justin 21

three words

Rob a bank

good luck :)
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