Tourist in Travel Agent's," I am interested in a holiday in Canada. What would you suggest?"

Travel Agent, " Being young and active are you interested in Clubbing?"
                     
"Sounds good."
                     
"Right, how many seals would you like to club?"

"There is always parachuting."

"Oh, really. That sounds better."

"Certainly. What sort of parrots would you like to shoot?"

A man walked into a bar and ordered a hot dog and a beer. He downed the beer. Then he put the hot dog on his head, smashed it with his hand, and walked out the door before the bartender could say a word. The next day, the man returned and ordered the same thing. Again he downed the beer, and again the bartender watched in amazement as the man smashed the hot dog on his head. The man came back the third day and placed his regular order, but this time the bartender said, "I'm sorry, we're out of hot dogs."

     The man said, "Okay, give me a bag of potato chips." Then he downed the beer and poured the bag of chips onto his head before smashing them with his hand and heading out the door.

     "Wait!" called the bartender. "Why did you smash those chips?"

     The man replied, "Because you didn't have any hot dogs."

 

Get Your Electro-Caddy Now!!!
               


                  All this and enough room for two golf bags

Quote from: Jamie D on August 07, 2012, 02:11:18 AM

We're not having a sulk are we?

Quote from: Cindy James on August 07, 2012, 03:27:46 AM

We're not having a sulk are we?

I couldn't find a "stinky" icon, in response to your so-called humor.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide the eggs? 


He doesn't want Mrs. Bunny to find out that he's having an affair with the chicken

I'm going to have to keep you and Cindy away from one another.

Between the two of you, the awfulness of the jokes could reach critical mass, and implode the entire thread.

What did Goofy say to Micky when he spotted a prostitute in the Magic Kingdom?






           Uhhhuck!!! Hey there, Hi there , a ho there!!!

The mayor was driving to work when he noticed a workman digging a row of holes down the side of the road. But as soon as the holes were dug, another workman came over and filled them up again. The mayor pulled over to investigate. When he asked the workmen what was going on, he was told, "We're usually a three-man crew, but the one who plants the trees is out sick today!"

A wealthy landowner dies and his sons are called together for the reading of the will. The will stipulated that the vast amounts of land were to be used to create a cattle ranch, and that the sons had to work together to come up with a name for the ranch.

They sat together trying different ideas before settling on the Focus Ranch. When asked why they chose this name, the oldest son replied

It's the Focus Ranch because it where the sons raise meat.

Good grief .

Quote from: Padma on August 08, 2012, 10:12:20 AM
Good grief .

Eeeeerr YEP!!

Sure is in keeping with the thread title. No doubt about that!!!      

Quote from: Padma on August 08, 2012, 10:12:20 AM
Good grief .

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on August 08, 2012, 10:18:55 AM
Eeeeerr YEP!!

Sure is in keeping with the thread title. No doubt about that!!!      

I live to serve. 

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 08, 2012, 10:29:07 AM
I live to serve. 

And that you do sooooooo well. Thank you Connie.

I know for a fact my daughter couldn't live without this constant barrage of "Dad" jokes. Well after all, I'm still her biological father.

Huggs
Catherine

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on August 08, 2012, 10:32:47 AM
And that you do sooooooo well. Thank you Connie.

I know for a fact my daughter couldn't live without this constant barrage of "Dad" jokes. Well after all, I'm still her biological father.

Huggs
Catherine

My kids have told me that they can tell by the tone and cadence of my voice that a terrible joke is in progress. I'm getting predictable in my great and advancing age.

I can't take this thread anymore

The psychiatrist told his patient he was conducting a simple test to measure normal human responses. He asked the patient, "What would happen if I cut off your left ear?"

     "I wouldn't be able to hear," replied the patient.

     "And what would happen if I cut off your right ear?"

     "I wouldn't be able to see."

     "Why do you say that?" asked the psychiatrist.

     "Because my hat would fall over my eyes."


I so love being able to keep Jamie Happy

I was expecting "because my specs would fall off..."