I consider myself Asexual. However, I may in fact be Bi (a realization I find deeply unsettling, to be frank). The chief distinction between the two (for me) is that I have no plans nor intentions to act upon those feelings, seldom as they are. Which, I suppose, again comes back to the Asexual side of things. Every single human being alive has urges and desires where sexuality is concerned, even Asexuals.
That said, there is only one woman I had some attraction to, shamed as I am to admit it, because she was one of my teachers (to which, I'd feel sparks whenever we had occasion to hold hands or otherwise innocently touch). It has nothing to do with physical appearances for me either. I could care less. Its the person themselves, their soul, that attracts me. And yet it still is not sexual, somehow.
And the only man (and actually, now I remember correctly, that's not true... used to have somewhat of an attraction to Ozzy Osbourne too -mostly while dreaming-... >_<) I have had attraction too... again, embarrassingly, is Alan Rickman. But then, even perfectly straight and cismales confess the same. So it isn't unduly odd. And again, it has absolutely nothing to do with physicality for me. I can appreciate "good looks" but they mean almost nothing to me, I guess you could say.
No. But sometimes I do long for companionship. Non-sexual companionship. Just someone to be there. To hold and be held. To talk to and share life with, but not merely out of lust or to shag. I, again, have very little if any desire to bugger anyone. It's just me, the way I am. And that of course fairly well ensures I will never have that companionship because so many people out there seem only interested in sex...
I'm a little weary about T for that reason. I don't want purely primal urges to destroy this for me. But I'll be forging ahead with it regardless. The consequences otherwise, I don't believe I could bear. Then again, I'm already somewhat on T (endogenously) and have not noticed any changes where sexuality is concerned, so far. I hope that is the same when I'm taking the synthetic and higher doses.
And to be even more direct... really, the only time I "get my rocks off" is through unbidden dreams. Which, again, for me is disturbing. They are, for whatever reason, always with other... men. Not random ones, and not ones I even know, but, well. I already gave you a clue who they are so I'll be stopping there.
So I suppose that is my rather long-winded way of saying: I have no answers.